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Don't Judge Me With Your Eyes
I often find myself sitting in darkness
even as bright lights surround me.
I wonder if people are watching my every move

The light around me is blinding
so I can't see their faces
but I can feel the power of their eyes
burning deep into my body

Am I unacceptable by my appearance
is my personal style a disgrace
have I said the right words or
have I performed the right actions?

Soft murmurs come over the crowd as I slowly pass by
I don't know where I'm going
but I know to avoid the direction of laughter

Loud, shrieking laughter floods this dark room
The sounds begin to hurt my ears
the pain intensifies
yet they take no consideration to my tears.

I ask them to stop
I beg them to hold back
but they continue…
continue to slowly break me down.

How can the world be so cruel
to judge me with their eyes
without knowing the real me

They don't know what I think
and they can't know how I feel
so why would they pass judgement on me?

Do they believe they're so much better
than others around them
do they see themselves as superior beings
looking down into the darkness
of lesser individuals?
Do they lead flawless lives
and now snub others who aren't "perfect"?

What urges one to fill their heart
with hatred and conceit?
If everyone was exactly the same
all interests would fade.
No diversity among us…
Would we enjoy the lack of uniqueness?

A world of static emotions
And daily routine isn't a world for me.
I enjoy being different
so why do they punish me
for being… me?
Is it so wrong for me to live
a life unlike their own?

They take joy out of hurting me…
all of them do.
They smile a little wider,
they laugh a little louder,
they make more of an effort to shoot me down
when they know I'm clinging
to all the strength I have left in me.

Why does everything revolve around
"What does he look like?"
"What does she look like?" and
"What do you look like?"

People are so stuck on an outer appearance…
they often fail to give someone a chance.

The way this world is turning
has caused people to fear their appearance.
One is no longer secure with the beauty
that God gave them.

I have felt insecure with myself
at one time or another.
Careless beings made me this way…
they ruined my belief in myself…
but I won't let them win anymore.

I am who I am
the way God created me.
I no longer have to worry about
what is beautiful
what is acceptable and
what is perfect

I answered all three questions
on my quest for my soul.

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
What he/she sees is where the beauty is born.
It differs from person to person
but one fact will remain constant.
The beauty discovered never.. ever fades away.

One cannot choose what is
and is not acceptable for the world.
The choice lies in the hands of one person
and one person only…
Me.

I choose whether or not
to go with the "acceptable" crowd of thoughts
or build a mind of "acceptable" feelings within myself.

No one in this world is perfect.
The heartless fools that push me down
may think they're perfect, but I know…
that's far from true.
Perfection is what one makes of themselves.
Without giving up… their challenge for perfection is won.

So for all who make the effort
to bring tears to my eyes…
pain in my heart… and
fear to my soul…

Try it once more…
I won't let you win again.

~ J. Kuper

Copyright © 2003-2004 by Jessie Kuper. All rights reserved
Do not copy, reproduce, or distribute this poem without written permission from myself. If you want to use it,
please write to me and ask. I'll most likely say yes, I'd just appreciate the respect for placing my work online.
If you steal my work, I may not catch you, but you'll know I wrote it... and that's all that matters. Thank you.