There are 8 stats.
Smarts- how smart you are
RWP (Relationship With Parents or authorities)- it would suck to have your allowance cut off or to be grounded right before the prom.
Driving- how well you drive your car, saucer, or whatever
Cool- how well you wear your clothes, how unshakeable you are in the face of major disaster, and if you say the right thing when you accidentally land your flying saucer on the principal's new Cadillac.
Bod- how good you are at physical abilities
Luck- try this when everything else has failed
Looks- relative towards your species, of course. How well you can get dates, and be socially accepted.
Bonk- ability to take punishment, whether from putdowns, social embarrassment, giant multi-dimensional hammers, or zap guns
Roll 1d6 eight times. Start recording when you get a 5 or 6.
Put the scores in however you like.
You can then shift points around however you like, on a one-to-one basis. (Neat, huh?)
No score can go below one, and no score can go above a 6.
Choose type of character- human or alien type.
Human: are the coolest race in the galaxy, according to the aliens.
They have one special ability called Fake Out.
This means that whatever a human tells an alien about human culture, they're likely to believe it, because humans are so cool. (Don't mistake this for the cool stat above. They may still think you're a dweeb, but if you say it's cool to wear Bermuda shorts and drive an Edsel, they're likely to believe you and start doing so. If you tell them snow is made at factories on the North Pole, it's so. If you say everyone wears rubber noses and red polka dot ties, you'll be believed, because you're from earth and they aren't.)
If you choose this, roll 2d6 to see if you have another special ability in addition to fake out.
Near Human: can often pass for human, like Mr. Spock.
Can have your small horns, small fangs, small tails, pointed ears, weird eyes or hair, webbed feet or hands, etc.
Not Very Near Human: roughly humanoid forms, but unlikely to pass for human. Maybe in a dark alley at midnight hiding in a dark fog wearing a trench coat, he MIGHT be able to pass as `Uncle Ernie who was run over by a wheat combine at a young age.' Maybe. Examples are ET, the Predator, or the little grey saucer guys who are in every third episode of the X-Files.
Can have weird shaped limbs, big teeth, claws, fur or scales, long tails, glowing eyes, antennae, or wings.
Real Weirdie: haven't a snowball's chance in a blast furnace of passing for human, like Godzilla, the thing from Alien, the Schmoo, or anything from a grade B Roger Corman flick.
Can have extra arms, legs, or heads, huge teeth, armor plate, lots of fur, blobby shapes, anything else that sounds interesting.
Knacks: these are skills.
Roll 1d6, you have this many points to put into knacks, divided however you like from +1 to +3.
Example, if you roll a 2, you can have either two knacks at +1, or one at +2. A four can give you 4 at +1, i at +3 and one at +1, two at +2, etc. You get the idea.
The points are added to your basic ability score when you try to do one of these actions.
So, if you have Drive of 4 and take Drive Anything Like a Maniac +2, you have a 4 for most drives, but a 6 when you decide to drive in a manner that'll cause you to endanger life and limb(s).
Some sample knacks are these-
Clobbering
Convince Anyone
Get a Date
Sweet-Talk Your Mom
Look Cool Wearing Shades
Shoot Big Ray Gun
Dance
Sneak
Figure Things Out
Play Air Guitar
Fix-it
Weird Science
Perfect Make-Up
Never Look Rumpled
Dazzling Smile
Master of Kung Fool
Juggle
Hunch
Keep Your Balance
Remember Trivia
Flirt Outrageously
Party Hard
Know About Alien Stuff
Know About Earth Stuff
Whine and Wheedle
Resist Fast talk
Flying Saucer Piloting
Con Your Kid Brother Out of His Allowance
Resist Con Job By My Big Sister
Convince Mom
Dodge
Look Baffled So They Don't Clobber You
Drive Anything Like a Maniac
Look Amazingly Cool in Mirrorshades
Use Huge Hyperspace Hammer
Look Adorable
Use Huge Bonk Zap Sword
Command Daddy's Gigantic Battlefleet
Never Get Rumpled
Use Zapgun With Unerring Accuracy
Stomp Tokyo (or Other Major Urban Zone)
Know Where to Buy Anything
Get It On Sale
Look Stylish Even On Bad Hair Days
Swim Like a Fish
Surf
Play a Mean Joe Satriani Guitar Riff
Bounce On Top Of Enemy
Bounce Unharmed From Really High Place
Bounce Anyway Just Because
Grab Anatomy
Hide in Tiny Places
Be Really, Really Sneaky
Shoot Little Machinegun With Unerring Ferocity
Dodge Like a Maniac Whenever Large Caliber weapons Are Involved
Balance a Pickle on the End of your Nose
pretty much anything else you can think of.
Powers:
I've already talked about humans. For aliens, they'll have from 0-3 powers.
If you have something in mind that you really want, like `Produce Inexhaustible Microwave Pizza from Nowhere', then tell me, and we'll see.
Otherwise roll 1d6 three times, and then roll 1d10 3 times and tell me the results.
Traits: determine your personality and worldview. Everyone chooses 3 of them.
Some samples are these-
Insanely Jealous
Girl/Guy Crazy
Forgetful
Sneaky
Stuck Up
Terrible Temper
Shy
Pessimistic
Curious
Stubborn
Always Cheerful
Greedy
Proud
Cowardly
Cheap
Humble
Manic
Trusting
Abrasive
Tomboy
Girlish
Practical Joker
Eats Plastic
Eats Cars
Party Animal
Paranoid
Lazy
Weird Phobias
Talks to Trees
Schizoid
Bewildered
Trusting
Modest
Adventurous
Headstrong
Reckless
Smooth-talking
Oversexed
Absentminded
Stuck On (choose someone)
Will Eat Anything
Somewhat Sarcastic
Fussy About His Clothes
Calm
Amused
Obsessed With Shopping as an Art Form
Loves to Eat
Loves to Surf
Really Mellow
Thoughtful
Determined
Really Zen
Lecherous
Pushy
Believes Everything He Reads in Playboy Advisor
pretty much anything else you can think of.
Allowance
Roll 2d6 and multiply by five.
Starting cash
Roll 1d6 and multiply it by your allowance.
You also have a car if you're human, or a flying saucer if you're an alien.
Due to the incredible influx of technology brought to earth by aliens (and since humanity was able to talk them out of most of it with their Fake Out ability, there's a ton of high tech, or weird devices available to buy.
If there was something in particular you wanted, tell me, otherwise, I'll send out a list of things you might be interested in, or that would make the game interesting...
Bonk note- TFOS is a comedy/humor game. Characters don't ordinarily die.
You stand around looking stupid, possibly with shredded clothes or damaged equipment for several turns until you recover, at which Bonk goes back to normal level.
During this time, everyone else gets to go off and do great things.
Too high note- TFOS is a comedy/humor game, in case you skipped the paragraph above.
So, sometimes something too high will backfire. Let's say you have a cool of 6, and a knack of `Get a Date With Anyone +3'.
Well, it might backfire. She may fall madly, obsessively in love with you. Follow you everywhere, scaring away any other dates you might�ve considered. Spray painting love notes on the side of the gym to you. Getting on the school PA system and proposing marriage. Taking hostages.
You get the idea. Obsessive, and possibly dangerous. Ever see Misery? Too high can be a problem.
Alien note- doesn't really have to be an alien; there are lots of other choices from anime.
The Magical Girlfriend (Belldandy from Oh My Goddess, or Video Girl Ai are examples)
The Robo-kid (Key the Metal Idol is one example, Astro Boy is another)
The Cosmo Rangerette/Ranger (Cutey Honey comes to mind, as do the Knight Sabres)
They basically use the same rules, but just have a different origin than normal characters; otherwise they still count as regular humans or aliens.
Updated 27 AUG 00