-Stupid worthless idiots
-Idiot Fred
-CCCkkCkKKK!
-Max (his beloved cat) graded those papers for you guys last night after he went roller skating and made us a meat loaf dinner
-Here comes the little Mac Truck dooo doo doooo dooooo doo
-And the endoplasmic reticulum surrounds the outer ... ZZZZzzzZZzzZzZzZzZ... HUH? what happened? woo woo that was funny wasn't it folks
-Where did this cell go? North Dakota, and the other one? Argentina
-Who's buried in Grant's tomb? class: Grant? Ooo alright guys you did it good job
-And the happy little SNARKS were prancing around happily playing amongst themselves and then they CAME AND BIT YOUR BLOODY HEAD OFF!
-Stupid bagel and coffee is stale, dry, and tasteless every day
-That and a dollar fifty will get you a cup of coffee
-Randy, Randy, Randy...
-So when you're sipping your fribble at Friendly's with your significant other, tell her with glossy eyes: RECEPTOR MEDIATED ENDOCYTOSIS. That's the way I say goodnight to Max everynight.
-This lab is divided into three parts sort of like Gaul... dumb Latin jokes
-Jokes? What jokes?
-Now if your data suck, and you still use them you need to globally confess to your idiocy, though I'm sure most of you have already admitted to that
-::Belch::, That was an orange juice belch, mmmm
-You guys should win the Nobel Peace Prize, it's a free trip to Sweden
-Now if I take a probe, and capture Sammy the Snark, then I can look at Sammy Snark's cells!
-(Playing with a model of an atom) Woooooo! It's a spaceship! Wrrrrrrrrr!
-(Hearing the sound of a test tube smashing on the floor) That's great! That's just bloody great!
-I'm gonna retire, move out to California with Max, and become a...surfer dude!
-You skipped a question! That was very foolish of you!
-I want to go watch ships sail into Booth Bay Harbor...
-Shut up, San
-You're going to create life! You're going to make your own primative coacervates! You're going to play God! Doesn't that make you happy? Ah shutup, I've got leftover roast beef for dinner...
-It was a dark and stormy night...
-It's too early for this crap...*cough* *cough* (falls asleep with bagel in mouth)
-Evil, Bad, Nasty
-Coh-Ohn (his pronunciation of cotton)
-(after being asked what he remembered from college) I don't know I was to stoned to remember
-(someone drops something) Gravity check!
-Studaba!
-(Evan: Studaba!) We only say Studaba on the second Tuesday after a full moon! Get Out!
-How are the wife and kids?
-Oh geezes...
-You want the make-up work you missed while you were out sick yesterday? You must be kidding! Didn't anyone tell you? There was no one here, school closed for the day because you were sick!
-I got vaccinated for smallpox when I was a kid...but they don't do that anymore now (makes a sad puppy face) So when some terrorist in Russia decides to unleash the virus, I'll be safe and you...won't!
-Who can tell me the name of the ship Darwin sailed on? Come on, I'll give you a trip to Swedend!
-You seem to have that Bio 9 stare...
-Endoplasmic Reticulum...or as they say in Swedend...HASHBLORTGRAPHET
-It's really kind of cool
-In the spirit of diversity we shall call on Danielle
-(yawning) Jesus Christ or O S**t
-This is the m... me... memmm... O S**t... membrane