| HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE A GOATAHOLIC... |
| When you go to eBay, you type "goat" in the search box. Your Christmas wishlist says one thing - www.goatgifts.com. Your kitchen does not have pictures of apples or strawberries hanging on the walls, but does have pictures of goats. You belong to at least two goatie e-mail lists. All of your pockets have hay in them. You go for a Sunday drive in the country and look at pasture set-ups. You go to rummage sales and look for play gyms - for the goats. People find you interesting, "except for that smell..." You have a least one thing in the house that says "I love goats." Goatberries fall out of the treads of your shoes at inopportune places - the local cafe, the doctor's office... You have a picture of at least one of your goats in your wallet. You have a baby monitor - for your barn. Your social functions include "the gang from the co-op." You have at least one baseball cap with a goat on it. You have at least one keychain with a goat on it. Your coffee table books include "Goat Management and Veterinary Care" and "A Practical Guide to Small-Scale Goat-keeping." Your grocery list includes snacks - for the goats. You've gone through a drive-thru with a goat in the back of your van or truck at least once. Your vet refers "livestock people" to you. You check the Sunday sale papers for fencing options. You try to think of imaginative ways to use goatberries. Your vacation schedule revolves around show schedules, or involves visiting a petting zoo, because they always have goats. You own at least one copy of "Heidi". You find goat hairs in your breakfast eggs & sausage, because you feed the goats first, and then yourself. You don't have roses planted anywhere near your fence lines. When it storms and you are not home, you don't worry about your house, you worry about your barn. Your Mother's Day gift is a new hayfork. The picture on your Christmas cards is not of your children, it is of your goats. Your screensaver is a goat. Someone asks you, "How are your kids?" and you say, "2-legged or 4-legged?" You hear "Maaaa" and automatically look out at the pasture. |
| - Eileen Lankow |
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