Hey everyone! Guess who's birthday it is today! Craig's! Yes that's right, and he's going to be a BIG 18! So lets all give him a big hand!

(Everyone claps for Craig)
(except for one smart aleck who gives him one of those big foam #1 hands)

Craig likes potatoes, Mountain Dew, and Rapping clowns. You may know him from your local Wal-Mart store.

Good. Now for the cake. Look how nice it looks!

(Everyone gasps at the wonderful imaginary cake)

Looks tasty! Ok, we have to sing first though.

Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday dear Craaaaig...
Happy Birthday to you!

Make a wish and blow out the candles Craig!

(Craig blows out the candles)

Wow, all in one breath! That's good luck.

You know guys, Craig is an Aquarius, the RaGiNg water bearer. He shares his birthday with many famous people, including Mozart, Lewis Carroll, and Bridget Fonda.

Present time! Here's one from Jayne, wow!

It's an assortment of vegetables!

And here is one from Steven!

Gosh, that was mighty nice. Now that Craig has opened his presents, it's time to give him his birthday spankings! Who will it be? Good Friend Steven, of course!

(Good Friend Steven gives Craig his 18 birthday spankings)

Now that that's done..I think we can all go home. Before you leave, take time out to send Craig a personal birthday message at [email protected].

No, I'm serious, do it!

Ok, now that you have, you can leave for real. Please take a party favor on the way out. And remember, you are special too, even if it's not your birthday!

And Craig, have a happy day!

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