wigfield!!!
So here I am, getting ready to spill my guts to the person I think is literally 500 times funnier than the next funniest person on earth... but I can't, because the jackass next to me keeps talking.  She literally doesn't even look at me while she scribbles her name, so I just stand there gazing at her like a serial cannibal might look down at a sleeping baby.
next!
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