Rufus: You masturbate more than anyone else on the planet.
Jay: Shit, everyone knows that. Tell me something else.
Rufus: When you do it, you're thinking about guys.
[Silent Bob starts to look freaked out.]
Jay: [to Bob] Dude, not ALL the time!
Bethany: Then - I don't mean to sound ungrateful - but what are you doing hanging around?
Jay: We're here to pick up chicks.
Bethany: Excuse me?
Jay: We figure an abortion clinic is a good place to meet loose women. Why else would they be there unless they like to fuck?
Loki: Our last two days on Earth. If I had a dick I'd go get laid. Well, let's do the next best thing.
Bartleby: What's that?
Loki: Let's kill people.
Bartleby: You know, here's what I don't get about you. You know for a fact that there is a God. You have been in his presence. He's spoken to you personally, and yet I just heard you claim to be an atheist.
Loki: I just like to fuck with the clergy, man. I just love it. I just love to keep those guys on their toes.
Bartleby: This from the guy who still owes me ten dollars from a bet over which was going to be the bigger movie, E.T. or Krush Groove.
Loki: Hey, fuck you man, because time's going to tell on that one.
Dolemite:You rat soup eatin' motherfucker!
Dolemite: That rat soup eatin', insecure, honky mutha fucka!
Dolemite: When I see a ghost, I cut the mutha fucka.
Dolemite: Jimmy, if a snake were to bite me on my leg, what would you do?
Jimmy: I'd suck the poison, Dolemite!
Dolemite: Well, Bo! What if a snake were to bite me on my ass?
Bo: I guess you'd be a dead muthafucka!
Dolemite: He think he's bad and ain't got no class! I'm gon' rock this shotgun up his muthafuckin' ass!