interview1


		Interview #1

There was a time in my life I wanted to be a reporter. That left me when I found I didn't like to leave the house. Here is one of the many interviews I held while still working for a local paper.

	I used to write for readers who breathed and walked up right, but no longer. I write for the monkey now, �Hello monkeys.� I noticed that there are not many writers today that write for a widely Simeon audience, oh sure back in the 40s and 50s during the Simeon renaissance you could find great pieces of Simeon literature everywhere you went. This is no longer the case. In America for every one Homo sapiens sapiens that can read fifty-two monkeys can. Now these figures while shocking are largely untrue. So why have Simeon authors just dried up? Could it be a struggle between the species or maybe to many Planet of the Ape movies have frightened people. I asked one man and here is what he thought. Eric: Sir why to you think that Simeon literature has been in a steady decline since the 50s? Man: What? Eric: Why, in your own personal opinion do you feel monkey authors have dried up? Man: Sir if you don�t want to know what the show times are for the movie I am going to have to hang up. Eric: Oh I see what your saying if I don�t ask the monkeys then know one will know. Click......beep beep At this mans advice I went down to a local monkey bar and asked the bars guests why they thought the literature is drying up. Eric: Excuse me sir? Large Gray Ape: Yes Eric: I�m writing a story on dying Simeon literature and was wondering if you might have some input. Large Gray Ape: Hummmm, that�s a very good question I think it had a lot to do with us throwing our feces. Eric: I don�t think I follow. Large Gray Ape: Ok let me lay it out for you we take our shit into are hands and fling it, but some shit is still on your hand. Now pick up a book with shit on your hand, there is shit on the book. Another person tries to read the book, but can�t because there�s someone else shit all on it. Authors hated to do book signings too because everything had shit on it. Eric: So it has nothing to do with a cultural rift or human vs. ape? Large Gray Ape: Nope. Eric: Shit. Large Gray Ape: Yep. My entire point has been shot to shit and yet it has brought attention to an even larger problem, why don�t monkeys have gloves? I will be looking into this more as the information is provided to me.

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