Kevin Heflin is the devil, but he also is one half of the mighty duo of Eric and Kevin. Together they are able to use their power rings to summon an 80 foot tall Shaq-bot. He currently resides in VA and is trying to become a rapper this would be easier if he would just rap and not try to shock people. Professional zombie hunter and a certified porn star. A native to Front Royal and it shows.
Chris Walker a.k.a. Doc Sampson is a damn Yankee, but we can�t hold that against him. When he isn�t trying to physically become a perfect sphere in front of his computer he writes and reads. He is a known accomplice to Eric Jackson together they have watched over 1,000 movies and are no where close to finished. Can be seen shaking his head at me or thinking. Isn�t a native to Front Royal, but has been there long enough for it not to matter.
Liz a.k.a. Zil is a chain smoker. She is currently a student at George Mason University and seems to enjoy it. Head is round and can be mistaken for an orb. When she isn�t working to hard for no reason she�s bored because she enjoys working herself to death. A native to Front Royal and it shows.
Eric Jackson already has an entire page to himself and is now taking up more space here. The other half to the Amazing Kevin and Eric found the Shaq-bot when being Toby back in the shores. Also a Professional zombie hunter. Collects everything for some reason. Building a time machine for two people to return to a time they understand.
Mark Hines is a porn historian. He can name everyone in the porn then tell you when it was made. The white man�s Charlie Murphy. Has the largest collection of shit on his computer ever. Has a lisp that he gets really mad about ask him to say weapons if you see him. Is real Front Royal and stands as a reminder to who we all are.
Kari is in Florida and that sucks. She sees the world in terms we read about. Stores food in her cheeks until winter then lives off the food until summer. I�m not sure the affect Florida will have on her eating. Called me drunk on Christmas eve everyone needs a friend like her. From Front Royal like the rest.
Knesh is a drama teacher in Front Royal. I am not sure if it�s punishment for something or if he�s just unlucky. Is secretly the missing rapper known as Kenny K. A fellow master of the BS which is an art form. I�ll be at his wedding in all black. From some place up north I dunno they all look the same.
Christie Kulp is in another state having the kind of fun we have to pay for. Is really a cat inside a Christie-103 model robot. She loves collecting spoons send her all that you have. I lied. Secretly is on the drug of life or was it pcp I always forget. *pet* From Middle Town the speed limit is 30.
Christy Morrison is a young spoon filled hedgehog learning to play several ethereal xylophones. When not planning world destruction she dresses like a drunk transvestite high on nothing, but Ziggy Stardust. Front Royal sure but not like she�ll admit it.
Dylan Weber gets top billing in all my affairs beside the ones I make money with. When he isn�t leading his double life as spy a life filled with meaningless sex, leading a double life, and cool suits. We are under a class action suit at the moment and are prohibited from going to far into detail about the man known as Dylan, but I can say this: He poops skittles.
John Xenakis is not from Front Royal, but has see it on a road sign. When he isn�t watching porn, masturbating, stabbing people, or worshipping the devil he goes to class. He never sleeps and can be seen with the Queen of the Ice People Mary. Yeah John and Mary what are the odds, I would gag if he wasn�t standing behind me with an ice pick. We were roommates, but when housing came around he said and I quote, "Ahhh, no offence, but fuck you guys."
Steffani Greuling is one sexy fat bitch. She�s kinda fat and by that I mean huge. Life seems to keep kicking her ass. I�m sure she�ll get that taken care of one day. She�s still awesome, but isn�t very smart either this is how you know she�s from Front Royal.Jason Lentzs is a douche bag. I hope when he reads this he cries so much that he looses control of his car on the way to work so I don�t have to work with him. A fellow video clerk he hates his job because it�s in Front Royal. God I hate him.
Ashley Burchfeild has a long last name and is a dirty freak. Best known for her role as cop 2 in the off-off-off-off-off^13 Broadway production of Rumors. When she isn�t bogged down by fan mail or current projects she does things I can�t talk about here, but see them all the time on the pay sites. Is an artist that doesn�t have any of her own art. Front Royal of course.
Wattsworth! is how his name should be said. Is a cheep bastard a Soul Caliber. He�s currently going to film school in Chicago, but comes back to party with us from time to time.