Willow Rosenberg : Uh huh.
Buffy Summers : See? I told you... old reliable.
Willow Rosenberg : Oh, thanks.
Buffy Summers : What?
Willow Rosenberg : "Old reliable"? Yeah, there's a sexy nickname.
Buffy Summers : I-I didn't mean it as--
Willow Rosenberg : No, it's fine. I'm "old reliable."
Alexander 'Xander' Harris : She just means, you know, the geyser. You're like a geyser of fun that goes off at regular intervals.
Willow Rosenberg : That's Old Faithful.
Alexander 'Xander' Harris : Isn't that the dog that the guy had to shoot--
Willow Rosenberg : That's Old *Yeller*.
Buffy Summers : Xander, I beg you not to help me.
Anya Emerson : Listen, I have this little project I'm working on, and I heard you were the person to ask if--
Willow Rosenberg : Yeah, that's me. Reliable dog-geyser-person.
[Looking at the vampire version of herself from an alternate reality.]
Willow Rosenberg : That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil, and skanky... and I think I'm kinda gay.
Alexander 'Xander' Harris : You're considered somewhat cool.
Daniel 'Oz' Osborne : I am?
Alexander 'Xander' Harris : Is it because you always tend to express yourself in short, non-commital sentences?
Daniel 'Oz' Osborne : Could be.
Buffy Summers : I'm gonna give you all a nice, fun, normal evening if I have to kill every person on the face of the Earth to do it.
Angel : You know, I never properly thanked you for sending me to Hell.
Buffy Summers : No...
Angel : I'm wondering, where do I start? A card, fruit basket, hmm? Evisceration?
Angel : I lurk.
Angelus : I wanna torture you. I used to love it, and it's been such a long time. I mean, the last time I tortured someone, they didn't even have chainsaws.
Angel : "Dear Buffy..." Hmmm. I'm still trying to decide the best way to send my regards.
Spike : Why don't you rip her lungs out? That might make an impression.
Angel : Lacks... poetry.
Spike : Doesn't have to. What rhymes with lungs?
Spike : Whatcha doin', love?
Drusilla : I'm naming the stars.
Spike : You can't see the stars, love. That's the ceiling. Also it's day.
Drusilla : No, I can see them. But I've named them all the same name, and there's terrible confusion.
Buffy Summers : I wish we could be regular kids.
Angel : I'll never be a kid.
Buffy Summers : Okay then, a regular kid and her cradle-robbing creature-of-the-night boyfriend.
Alexander 'Xander' Harris : Yep, vampires are real. A lot of 'em live in Sunnydale. Willow'll fill you in.
Willow Rosenberg : I know it's hard to accept at first.
Daniel 'Oz' Osborne : Actually, it explains a lot.
Buffy Summers : Who are you?
Angel : Let's just say, I'm a friend.
Buffy Summers : Yeah, maybe I don't want a friend.
Angel : I didn't say I was yours.
Buffy Summers : Have I ever let you down?
Rupert Giles : Do you want me to answer that, or shall I just glare?
Alexander 'Xander' Harris : Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with deadboy on this one.
Angel : Could you not call me that?
Daniel 'Oz' Osborne : I can see why you would be upset. Oh, that was my sarcastic voice.
Alexander 'Xander' Harris : You know, it sounds a lot like your regular voice.
Daniel 'Oz' Osborne : I've been told that.