zelko vodka. guys who talk about their penises. hot sauce. bowling. cigarettes. horses. the flu everyone it seems like everyone is coming down with. cancer. coffee. originality. building stuff. being a stoner
zelko vodka:
7.49 + tax at state line liquors, elkton, md...for a handle. ain't nothin wrong with that! besides, all the stuff that comes in a plastic bottle is all the same anyway.
guys who talk about their penises:
you know what i'm talking about. guys who make random comments about their dicks when surrounded by straight guys. for one, we don't care. we don't like the cock. we've got one of our own and that's all we need. for two, we know it's probably not as massive as you make it out to be. if you have to walk around telling people how big your penis is, you obviously must have some sort of security problem with it. just because we don't really know nor want to find out how big it really is doesn't mean we don't know you're exaggerating. and for three, talking about your penis to a bunch of guys is a really gay thing to do for a straight guy.
hot sauce:
i love hot sauce. most people dislike burning sensations in their mouth. i don't. for some reason, i get big kicks over self abuse in this way. why? i don't know. i have no other truely self abusive habits. am i trying to prove anything? no. maybe its that i like pushing myself, seeing what lies beyond the beyond. i want to know what my limits are, and either i will find them or my stomach will first. or maybe i like the idea of a self-induced sweat without moving from my chair. either way, i have nothing to prove, other than when i want to be, i can be a sick, sick bastard.
bowling:
bowling rocks. don't knock bowling.
cigarettes:
cigarettes are bad for you. don't smoke cigarettes. sometimes i want to smoke one, but i don't want to smoke any. even though sometimes you just need one. for me, they really bring nothing to the table and just burn a hole in my pocket (figuratively), while making me lazy and giving me a headache (literally). i don't know why i ever started, must have seemed like a good idea at the time. then again, i could also take a 20 second drag off a red without coughing. man, those were the days.
horses (i know i'm going to get shit for this one):
i don't like horses. at all. i think they are giant smelly ugly beasts. i mean, come on, there's a reason why some people are compared to horses, and it's not usually a compliment. i really don't see why some girls love them so much. but one things for sure, i don't. i really don't see what's so appealing about somethin trotting down the road with an amish guy in tow, pooping all over the road. but race them all you like. at least that's interresting.
the flu everyone it seems like everyone is coming down with:
for a minute, it seemed like everyone was getting sick at once, within days of each other. for a minute, i was worried it was the taliban, and that they had seeded the snow clouds with germs. what better way to kill everyone than put it in something most young americans can't resist: playing in the snow. then i realized, the germs probably wouldn't be able to live in that kind of freezing environment. there's another reason why i don't to smoke so much anymore, i hate being paranoid all the damn time.
cancer:
i do not have cancer. i have relatives who have had cancer. but i know one day i will too. and so will most of the people i know. it's a product of the day we live in. practically everything around us causes cancer, from the food we eat and the air we breathe, to the frickin sun. its unavoidable. i've spent so much of my life being exposed to electromagnetic waves and electric fields, i'm bound to get a tumor one of these days. did you know at 1 time, i counted 18 different electrically powered things being plugged in inside my room at one time? electric current produces magnetic fields. magnetic fields induce electric fields. electromagnetic transmission theory - this is how all radio wave transmissions work. we live in an electric world. all this convienience must come at a price. too bad this is one of them.
coffee:
i like coffee.
originality:
be original. be yourself. if you like something but didn't come up with it, don't rip it off. take the fundamentals and make it something your own. in all honesty, i didn't intend on doing any revisions to this site ever beyond the labs page. i randomly decided to check out my friend kelly's page, and suddenly i had the motivation to make something of this pothole (that's not a drug reference, fuck off) in the internet worth looking at. is the idea of a personal page original? hell no. but have i taken that idea and created something original and undeniably me with it? you bet your ass i have.
building stuff:
i like to build stuff. it's what makes me happy. i happen to enjoy the feeling of putting effort into something and end up with something that works exactly as i intended. some of you think i must have too much time on my hands. but i ask you think, what remotely productive things do you do for fun? watch tv? play video games? yeah, exactly. i might play video games, yeah, but i also built the controller. chances are you couldn't do that if you wanted to. building things shows i have patience, skills, and creativity, not to mention motivation. what skills are you perfecting by watching tv? improving the shape of your ass-groove in the couch? just think, in the time you've spent watching the entire season of joe millionaire, i can build a gun out of pvc that runs off of deodorant and can shoot AA batteries over 300 miles an hour and is accurate at 50 feet to within a couple inches of the laser sight, using my own original design. i'm sorry, but that's damn impressive, not to mention borderline terrifying. people need to stop being critical of others hobbies and become more critical of themselves and their own interrests. just because you have nothing to do doesn't mean you should waste your time. this is why i have much respect for artists, musicians, and the like. flex your brain - be creative. necessity is not the mother of invention, creativity is.
being a stoner:
i don't want to be a stoner anymore. yeah, i'm sure that's shocking enough. 6 years is enough. i've had my fun being a degenerate, a low life, a slacker, whatever. it's time to move forward. time to claim what's mine for the taking. don't get me wrong. i love smoking. perhaps too much. i probably will from time to time, weekly, monthly, whatever, but not all the time. when you realize that somethin as stupid as a plant is firmly planted into your life, it's time to change. i thought it made me happy, but in the long run its brought about more harm than good. all i've been doing is wasting my time, following false hopes and empty dreams. one bad decision after another. don't make comments to me implying that i only think about smoking all day or i am constantly looking for ways to make bongs out of anything. just because i'm capable of it doesn't mean that's my main focus. you might think your jokes are funny, but they're offensive. and i'm not afraid to let you know that. don't fuck with me. and for fucks sake, don't ask me to smoke you or your friends up. especially when i don't have anything myself. either you wait until you're offered, or you don't get any. tough shit but that's how it goes. don't call us, we'll call you. besides, is spending 2 hours sober really going to break you? no. if you can't be happy sober then you're the one with a problem, not me. but for fucks sake, don't judge me because of what i like to do. it doesn't make me any less of a person than you. if anything, judging me makes you the lesser person.