The Journal
Journal
Friday
AM
I had a strange day today, first of all I screwed up Masters breakfast. I forgot to put the syrup on the tray for his pancakes which I had prepared for him. Nevermind forget actually, I had forgotten to buy it. I have no idea what I was thinking Why did I make pancakes and forget I had no syrup. He did not say much, spread his butter over them and asked me to get him some jam instead. Whew I was saved. I had no Idea how he would react to this, but I knew he was a fair man, and would forgive a oversite. The thing that bothered me was his lack of reaction, I had no clue as to if he would deal with this later. He just kept on talking as if nothing had happened.
AFTERNOON
I had tons of chores this afternoon. Running around picking this and that up for Master while he was at work. We were getting together with another D/s couple this evening and I had many things to do to get ready. I went to the market and picked up fresh veggies for a tray, and then to the liquor store for a bottle of Masters favorite wine to bring along. I ran to the mall and picked up a thank you gift for our hosts, and a sweet thank you card. I dropped in and visited my friend and had a glass of ice tea at her place to cool off, as it was real hot outside. My mind was spinning because of all the tasks I had to do, and I needed a bit of a break. I flopped down on her lounge and caught a few rays of sun and relaxed a bit. We caught up on things and then I realised I had to get home, Master would be home in less than a hour. Good thing I did not have to cook supper today. Seems I am running two steps behind myself today.
EVENING
Master was home when I got there, he had arrived early, as he had a meeting that was real short. I went over to him, slipped to my knees before him, and greeted him. I was so happy to see him. I always missed him, even though we were together. I longed to hear his voice, the smell of his cologne, just to have him touch me ,I craved the feel of his skin next to mine, to bury my nose in his chest hairs and to take a deep whiff, of that odor that was distinctly his. Geeze I wondered sometimes if I was a tad over welmed by him.....lol..I didn't care, he was my Master and I loved him dearly.
He asked me how my day had gone. I told him all the things I had done, the wine, the gift, the note, the visit to the market. How I had dropped in on my friend. I told him all, as I never held back from him. He asked me about his shirts, I was to have picked up at the cleaners. At that moment in time I could have crawled into a mouse hole. I was so ashamed that I had forgotten. I could not go back, as everything was closed now. How could I have forgotten such an important thing like that? I was kicking myself.
I must admit, he was very calm. I have always said that a Master must be Master of himself, before he can be a Master over someone else, and my Master had that quality. " Call our friends and tell them we will be a bit late" was all he said to me. Dread filled my heart. He was not one bit pleased with me. " Then go down to the basement and wait for me there" I got up from my knees and went to the basement as told to. I dared not say a word against it. I went to the basement and knelt on the carpet, prostrating myself on the floor, with my arms over my head and wrists crossed, and I waited.
He was a few minutes in comming down, and when he did it was with quiet steps. I could hear him walking on the carpet, and the pounding of my own heart filled my ears. Fear intensefies the senses. "get up" I quickly obeyed him "hands up over your head, eyes closed" again I was quick to obey. I was doing my very best already to difuse a bad situation, I knew he was real upset with me. He shackled me into the cuffs he had permantly mounted in the ceiling, and slipped a blindfold on me. "Do not talk, do not do anything" I dared not speak, he had never done this before. I heard him walk away from me. He was leaving me there alone! I hated being alone, as much as I hated not being able to talk or that someone would not talk to me. I had a real problem with isolation.
I don't know how long I had been hanging there, felt like 30 mins, maybe more maybe less. I was thinking to myself, not much I could do right now, I kept listening for his footsteps. I started to swing myself on the shackles, balancing myself on the balls of my feet and letting myself swing backwards and forwards. the rocking motion quickly started to put me into a subspace, although this was not my intent, but I am guessing the deprivation of sight helped alot.
All of a sudden I felt the flogger hit me. Three quick whaps and he stopped.
All was quiet again, all that was left was the reverberations of my startled cries in the air. I waited, and listened. I could not hear him at all. I had no idea if he was there or if he had gone. Again he startled me when I felt his hands grab mine and loosen the shackles from my wrists. " Kneel" I quickly sunk into my position. My back straight, my thighs spread wide for him, my hands resting lightly on my thighs, palms turned up. My head was held up high, my eyes lowered befor him. "Tonite you are not permitted to talk , If any ask you a question, point to your mouth and shake your head no. I will be telling our hosts that you are in punnishment tonite, they will understand " I nodded my head. "You may not make eye contact with our hosts, keep your eyes lowered at all times" " Go upstairs and change into your clothes " Again I nodded, and went upstairs. I started to cry, and had to wash my face and put fresh makeup on, then changed into my clothes for the evening.
Master said very little to me on the way to our friends place. He was pleasant enough, just did not talk. Master was not one to brood, I knew I was being punnished and when it was over he would still love me. He would not talk about it forever, and keep reminding me about it. When it was over it was over.
We arrived at our friends place, the announcement was made by Master, and accepted by our hosts. Jokes were told, and storys were bantered about, and it almost killed me to not be able to talk. You never know how many stories you have to tell until you can not tell them, and that is how I felt. I was bursting inside to talk, but dared not utter a whisper.
We visited for around 3 hours and then when it started getting late, Master decided it was time for us to go home. Relieved the night was over I was looking forwardto the punnishment to be over. We got intot he car, and I waited for him to tell me I could talk. He said nothing on the way home. He sang to a song, whistled a bit, but no talking to me. I was very upset at this time, and started to cry again, little tears rolling down my cheek. I did not dare tell him how I was feeling, he knew and this was what he wanted. We got home, got out of the car, and went inside. " Get undressed and get ready for bed, then go to bed" I nodded and went and washed up and did all those things you do before going to bed, then slipped under the covers. He came in the room, undressed and slipped into bed. He turned and held me in his arms, but still did not give me permission to talk. I was sobbing silently in his arms, and fell asleep from pure exaustion.
SATURDAY
AM
I woke up in the morning, my eyes were puffed up and I am sure I looked a mess. The night before had been very hard on me both mentally and physically.
Master was awake, and told me I could talk again, punnishment was over, but first he wanted to say something. " When you forget stuff I have asked you to do, or become slack and are not careful in what you give me, I feel you are not taking this seriously, and I have to wonder if you are becomming lax about things. This could have been much worse. I could still have made you stay quiet the rest of the day, but I love your voice and hearing you chatter. I hope the evening will have made you think about what you are doing, and to pay more attention to what I ask you to do." I had tears in my eyes. To disappoint my Master was probably the worse thing that could happen to me. Master I will never forget this lesson, I will always try my best to do my best for you, and yes I was probablygetting lazy and comfortable in our relationship, and I beg your forgiveness. "Granted " was his reply. He gave me a big hug and a kiss and then told me to go get breakfast ready, and I knew I was forgiven.........