1. You were/are a good student with very high GPAs
2. You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or finance
3. You have more than one college degree, especially more than one Master's
4. If you play a musical instrument, it must be piano or violin
5. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table
6. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil
7. Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it
8. You beat eggs with chopsticks
9. You always leave outdoor shoes at the door
10. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack
11. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times
12. You boil water before drinking
13. You eat all meals in the kitchen to keep your dining room clean
14. You don't use measuring cups when preparing foods
15. You save grocery bags and use them to hold garbage
16. You have a rice cooker
17. You're a wok user
18. Your parents fight over who pays the dinner bill
19. You wash rice 2-3 times before cooking it
20. You make sounds when you have a bowl of soup.
21. Your don't dryclean cloths, even if they need to be drycleaned
22. You iron your own shirts
23. You like congee (Zhou1) with thousand year old eggs (Song1 Hua1)
24. You always cook yourself, even if you hate it
25. You use credit cards, and pay monthly bills in full
26. You keep most of your money in a savings account
27. You buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off
28. When you hand wash dishes, you only use cold water
29. You hate to waste food a) Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them b) You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing
30. You don't own any real Tupperware--only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars
31. You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses
32. When toilet paper is on sale, you buy 100 rolls and store them
33. You have a collection of miniature shampoo/conditioner bottles and little soap bars that you take every time you stay in a hotel
34. The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or come in plastic packets, which you "save" every time you get take out or go to McDonald's
35. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes). (You also bring a box full of instant noodles to EVERY family vacation...)
36. You spit bones and other food scraps on the table
37. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself
38. When you go to a dance party, there are a wall of guys surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool
39. Your house/apt. is always cold in winter, and hot in summer
40. Your mom drives her Mercedes to Price Club, or ShoppersFood Warehouse regardless how far it is, even if Loblaw's is next door
41. You always look phone numbers up in the phone book, since calling Directory Assistance costs 50 cents
42. You only make long distance calls after 11pm or during weekends
43. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached (NASTY!)
44. You never call your parents just to say hi
45. You think ONLY Japanease can make good CARS!
46. You use a colored face cloth every morning
47. You starve yourself before going to all-you-can-eat places
48. You've joined a CD club at least once
49. You never discuss your love life with your parents
50. You take this message and forward it to all your asian friends.
Some additions from other people:
51. Your parents want you to go to an Ivy League school.
52. Your parents threanten to kill you if you date someone that's not asian. If you're Chinese, you have to date only Chinese people.
53. If you're a Chinese girl, your parents won't let you date at all until college.... and that's only if you're lucky!
54. Your parents want you to be Valedictorian or at least in the top 1%, not because of the potential scholarships (although that is a minor reason), but so they can have bragging rights.
55. Even if you're the most perfect little child, when your parents talk about you with other Chinese parents, all they do is critisize you and point out your faults, then say to the other parents, "You're so lucky that your little 'so and so' is so good." Even though they know that the kid is nothing but a druggie... and a straight F student.
56. When you bring your report card home with a 99, your parents ask, "Where'd the other point go?!?! Go study!"
57. Your conversations with your parents usually begin with them asking, "Did you study yet?"
58. Your parents want you to get a perfect 1600 on SATs and be a National Merit Scholar.
59. You don't play any sports at school, and if you do, it's tennis.
60. When you go on a family vacation, your parents' idea of local cuisine is any Chinese restaurant in the area. They just can't live 2 days without eating some Chinese food!
61. You and your parents and a group of friends go into a Japanese food based restaurant serving a variety and your parents order the Chinese food.
62. Your parents drink more "Do Jiang" (soy bean drink) than milk
63. Coffee is drunk cold with ice cubes (in Taiwan)
64. Ice tea is drunk hot
65. Parents say milk should be hot because cold milk is bad for your stomach
66. They don't go to the movie theatre a lot
67. In fact, they hardly go on any dates with each other
68. Mom always yells at you to get off the phone, then calls one of her own friends and talks for hours
69. Her phone conversation is full of "ai-yah"s and loud laughs and gossiping
70. Most gossips are about their kids
71. They lecture you about pregnancies
Feel free to add more!
