| SUBLIME Isolated and utterly confused, I wriggled in my cold confinement. I longed to scream and see if my voice would echo in the deafening silence. After what seemed like an eternity of silent struggle, I fell asleep only to dream of continuous torment. "Pencils down. Papers in," I whispered looking at my watch. A few seconds later my teacher looked up from his papers. " Pencils down. Papers in," he repeated. I handed in my test and stretched relieved to have finished. With complaints of, "That was so hard," my classmates practically ran out of the room. I took my time, placing everything neatly into my bag. There was nothing to look forward to, no need to rush. About a year ago I'd have been the first one out that door. I'd be the crazy person running up the stairs, knocking people out of the way, screaming, "Storytime! Storytime!" I'd come in quietly and listen to Ms.Thom, or Kumu as we call her, read Watership Down or The Hobbit. And then I'd lie on her futon by the stereo, not thinking about anything, just absorbing the brightness of the room around me. The beautiful ceiling we painted and the acme clock we got to replace the one we broke while painting the ceiling. That's what I was doing the day she told us she wasn't going to be an english teacher anymore. There wouldn't be a Mole Hole. That was like telling a normal person they wouldn't have a home anymore. With the ever-looming exams ahead, I pushed the horrible thought aside. But when the New Year came and I found myself sitting outside with my friends that could really only be described as acquaintances, I fell into a deep depression. In an effort to lessen the pain I was feeling I continued to visit Kumu in her new office. But the pain just wouldn't go away. It kept growing, eating away at my soul. I was an animated corpse walking around. I ate less if at all, I was sleeping whenever I wasn't at school and refused to take any calls. One day I came to Kumu's new office to find Katie and Teal. A vase of beautiful roses sat upon the table. "JENNA, look! Katie brought you flowers because she loves you," Teal said alerting everyone that I had entered the room. My heart melted as emotions flooded me. Too proud to appear emotional, I supressed my smile and the tears of joy I felt. "And she does everything to not smile," commented Kumu. Feeling that I had been too obvious about trying to remain unemotional, I rushed out of the room. The lack of attention from my family and my poor grades had caused me to alienate myself from my friends. The happiness I had felt with my friends hadn't waned. I was too busy being jealous and angry at everyone. I realized everyone had tried to help me but I had pushed then away with my sarcastic and bitter remarks trying to make them feel as bad as I had felt. I would have to learn to deal with things better. I finished school and raced over to the office I work at downtown. My work at Bar Associations is simple, tedious and moreover repititious. It was perfect. I found the control I needed in life. *FOLD* *WET* *FOLD* *FOLD* Like the well-trained monkey that I am, I stuffed envelopes. Sealed and ready to go I left them at the receptionist's desk. I smiled in a twisted sort of way at my timesheet, the many lines filled with the hours worked. I picked up my flowers from my desk and shielded them as I entered the crowded elevator. I then pushed my way to the back of the bus, to the one seat that's always empty. I kept the flowers close as a huge sweaty man crams his massive butt into the seat next to me. I slept through the uncomfortable portion of the ride and woke to find the bus relatively empty. Decisions, decisions. Should I put my flowers on that empty seat or that empty seat? I whipped out my permanent pen collection ans started my legacy on the wall beside me. I became engrossed in my defacement of state property and didn't notice the sudden surge of people getting on the bus. After my masterpiece was completed I turned around and was suddenly surrounded by tons of people. My flowers were in the lap of this gorgeous local boy that was smiling at me. "Nice," he says, nodding towards my writing. And then pointed to his own doodle on the opposite wall. He introduced me to his friends and the rest of my bus ride was so amusing I didn't want to get off the bus. All too soon I have to get off, but even the walk home in the dark is peaceful. I enter the thing called my house and step over the clutter of shoes, pass the yelling, and walk to my room. I placed the roses on my nightstand and right before I fell asleep I thought how one simple, yet sublime action, caused my life to start weaving into this divine plan. My life is once again filled with different colors to create an aesthetically pleasing world. Good times. Good times. |