The following examples of Library humour and/or general oddity have come my way recently, and I've also dug out some that were sent in some time ago but never recyled (sorry!).
(The first four items are from me, the rest from your good selves)
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A recent New Scientist offers the following:
On the spine of a book in a school library: "Slaughter Living Things". That's a GCSE textbook, "Living Things" by V. Slaughter.
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Some years ago I remember a radio comedy show in which there was a gag about the man who went to the library to find a book to help him to conquer his shyness with women. The title "HOW to HUG" sounded just right until he opened it and found that it was Volume 6 of the Encyclopedia Britannica.
This prompted me to look at the encyclopedia in my own library, and I discovered some interesting "subjects" composed of the first and last entries of the various volumes, written exactly as follows on the spines. For example, there's an interesting contrast to be made between "Chicago Death" and "Islam Life". A "Menage Ottawa" sounds interesting, as does a "Spain Union". If I found myself in the "Arctic Biosphere" would it affect my "Light Metabolism", or could I claim "Geomorphic Immunity"? However, the one I found most off-putting was "Excretion Geometry" - no thanks!
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You'll need a bit of background for the following, especially if you're not UK-based. When it was first mooted that the UK's Library Association and Institution of Information Scientists might merge to form a new organisation for the whole information profession, there was a lot of talk about the "L" word and whether it should be dropped from the new title. There were many "information" people who had no wish to the sullied with the "librarian" title - it's a debate that's still alive and kicking in some quarters! People started to make suggestions for the title and the mailing lists were soon buzzing with contributions, including the following from yours truly.
I have to point out that I have NOT kept this item in my files ever since June 1998, but somebody I met for the first time this week obviously did!
The other day I made the slightly flippant suggestion that we
should think of the acronym first and then work out what it
stands for. The following are just a few ideas that come to mind.
(N.B. For anyone who has had their sense of humour surgically
removed, these are not to be taken wholly seriously! - anyone who
knows me will know that most of my utterings have to be taken
with a whole box of Saxa)
PRIG - Professional Register of Information Gurus
BIONIC - British Information Organisation Newly InCorporated
SKINK - Society of Knowledgeable Information Nobles and Kings
WANLIP - We Are Not Librarians but Information Professionals
(Wanlip is a village near Leicester - Leicestershire for the
Cup!)
SMILE - Society Making Information Location Easy
IPECAC - Information Professionals Eschewing Cataloguing And
Classification
BOOGIE - British Organisation Offering Great Information Expertise
My apologies for taking your time on an expedition into the
realms of fantasy - I just hope I haven't set a trend!
My correspondent suggested a West Midlands branch of the last-named organisation, to be called (what else?) BOOGIE-WOOGIE
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Overheard in a library: "You should have seen the traffic queues on the motorway - we didn't move at all for five miles!"
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Not long after getting my MLS I began working in an engineering
library. One day an engineer with a very strong Italian accent came in
and asked for information on what sounded to me like "tin-a film
technology". I knew that there existed something called "thin film
technology", but not having much experience in engineering I thought
that perhaps there was something called "tin film technology" as well.
So we proceeded to have the following exchange:
Me: You mean _thin_ film technology?
Him: Yes, tin-a film!
Me (clearly and distinctly): THIN?
Him: Yes, yes tin-a film!
Me: (desperately) You mean not fat, thin?
Him: That's what I said tin-a film!
The tone of the exchange was pleasant, but I could see that he had no
idea what _my_ problem was!
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When I entered library school I _thought_ that I wanted to become a
cataloger, but courses in subject analysis and descriptive cataloging
were to disabuse me of that notion! One of the assignments in my
subject analysis class was to give an oral report on a developer of a
classification system. I was assigned Henry Bliss (see
web.utk.edu/~pposton/bliss.html for more information). Fortunately I
was able to find some good information on him. Even more fortunately
all the stars were in the right alignment the night I gave my
presentation - besides actually having that good information, I was at
ease, said some funny things (not that I can recall just what now), and
somehow was at least moderately interesting. Afterwards the instructor
told me that I got an "A" on the presentation (my only one in the
course) and that I had "good stage presence". I thanked her and thought
to myself sarcastically, "Good stage presence - soooo important for a
cataloger!". BTW, not long afterwards I changed my degree focus to
reference services! ; D
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I was strolling on the UC Berkeley campus years ago with a couple of male friends when a man with a strong accent, not a native speaker of English, asked us, "Where can I find men's rooms?" with the accent on rooms, not on men's.� Since local newspaper ads for men's rooms and women's rooms for rent were published in separate columns in the classifieds at that time, I assumed he meant that usage & replied, "Well, you could try the Berkeley Gazette."�� He looked very puzzled & walked on smiling uncomfortably & shaking his head, and my friends said, "Why on earth did you tell that poor man to look in the newspaper for a restroom?"� In American English at least he should have put the emphasis on men's, not on rooms, and probably phrased it more like "Where can I find a men's room (or restroom or bathroom)? (singular, not plural) to convey the meaning he intended!
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My contribution to this is Canadian author Sparkle Hayter. I do believe it
is her real name.
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A panicked gentleman flew into the library one day and stated, "Tell me
what day this was in 1954!" I looked at him a bit puzzled and asked why?
He said, "I know I got married on June 21st, was that on a Sat. back in
1954? If it was and I don't show up with something for my anniversary, my
wife is going to have my hide!"
Yeah for the almanac, keeper of a perpetual calendar AND saver of a
marriage...
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