There are times I must laugh, and others, I must scoff
When I hear cynics muse that we are well off.
So, I own three dogs and a house in the suburbs,
But that does not mean life is not absurd.
�Getting one�s freak on� is not an easy contrivance
Due to the acquisition of parental acquiescence.

Now there exist moments when I must admit
That I am less than a �player� in the education bit.
Still, I am no hater � for to scholastics I am bound,
With the lexis and beat that are, in a word, profound.
And where in the classroom I�m hardly an epitome,
This sucker pulled a 760 on his verbal SAT.

It would prove intelligent to be wary, should we start to date,
For I am quite well known to spontaneously decimate;
Hanging by Burdines, spreading discombobulation�
I enjoy patronizing vagrants with poor enunciation.
There are those who believe they can best my situation�
Their dictions are a pittance compared to my linguistic consolidation.

And so, I transcribe this to showcase off my talent
And to warn those who come, it is required you be valiant.
Should you come �fronting�, remember, practice your part
Because I know �thug life� and have more hits than Mozart.
So, if you should roam here, know there are rules you must abide
In order to survive Cooper City�s (uh!) upper upper upper west side�
Upper upper upper west side�
Upper upper upper west side.