So late did I travel that my horse began to cower,
But then the moon revealed an impossibly tall tower!
And at the top, in a window, was a maiden in white:
My second wife, Rapunzel, and THIS was True Love At First Sight.
This one was for real. I was serious this time.
She let down leagues of hair, so I proceeded to climb.
There I remained, in her inescapable home,
Thinking of inventive uses for the everyday comb.
Alas, troubles grew, headed with one major flaw:
A begrudging, nightmarish Mother-in-Law!
Add that to the fact of the lack of �the Mood�
Every time I�d find a thirty-foot hair strand in my food.
Every time we connected and started getting hot,
Her hair always managed to tangle us in knots.
And we could not escape; the subject was sore
Since I�m sure she�d have left if there were only a door.
After being locked inside this tower for all of her life
She had no social skills. What a horrible wife!
I packed up my bags without showing any care
And left that tramp to her filthy old hair.

I hopped on my horse and rode far as I could
Which was a kingdom whose time had froze where it stood.
After hacking a thorny thicket, a hundred feet deep,
I ascended the castle to find a princess, asleep.
She soundly slumbered, though it was no longer night
And as I watched her breathe, I fell in True Love At First Sight.
I felt as good as I could, I was in my prime.
I knew this one would work � I was serious this time.
She had a great body�worthy of sneaking a peep
But every time we�d get close, she�d fall right to sleep!
It sure was nice to start with, but soon lost all appeal;
It seemed the only prick she�d take was from a spinning wheel.
I know appeasing my wife should have been my largest duty
But I needed support she couldn�t give � she WAS a Sleeping Beauty.
I packed up my bags and departed without leaving an excuse
And left that tramp alone in bed, to lazily and selfishly snooze.

I returned home, irritated, pissed, and fiercely randy,
So I ordered a ball be held, with caviar and brandy.
Hurrah! Hooray! Oh, happy day! This time I had it right!
After so long, it was mine � THIS was True Love At First Sight!
I�d made a few mistakes before, but I had known that they were grime,
But not my Cinderella. After all, I was serious this time.
Just as we got talking and I thought, �Damn, I�d love to dip her,�
She heard the clock and ran away, flipping off her slipper.
I searched every person, every building in the town
For the foot of the first woman worthy to share my crown.
I finally found her, and the shoe fit like a glove.
We rode right to the church and officiated our love.
The whole castle was reorganized once we�d been married for a week �
Even the ramparts had been alphabetized by that perky neat freak.
Yet something felt wrong � like we were incomplete�
It was then I realized that I only loved her for her feet.
I packed up her bags (which were really just bed sheets)
And left that tramp to tidy up the streets.

Don�t roll your eyes at me, nor shake your head in shame �
I�m beautiful and valiant, and fight in True Love�s name!
I give mouth-to-mouth, climb towers, and host balls!
How can you criticize me? I am Prince Charming, after all.

Now, any ladies out there who need a good excite to pursue,
Do me a favor, look me up, we�ll have True Love At First Sight, too!