Bards focus on the negative;
They slip the truth a sedative,
And find a way to tabloid it around.
I’m really quite a nice person.
I don’t support drinking or cursing.
So what if I’m turned on by tortured sound?

People in the mortal world
(When their tempers come unfurled)
Say, “Go to Hades” in a malicious manner.
I’m certainly no square,
But I’m sure it’s just not fair
That my name be used upon that spiteful banner!

I once found a beautiful girl
Whom I took and showed the world;
Yet stories claim my actions to her were disgraceful.
I worshipped her and nourished her!
I loved her and flourished with her!
And I’m the only god who EVER remained faithful!

The books have made me a tyrant…
But in reality, I’m not violent.
Most people have nothing to fear from me at all.
Since you reap what you sow and you get what you deserve,
You’d think after seventy years, there’d be a learning curve.
It is themselves man should be afraid of when they fall.

I’m not very picky and certainly not too bossy…
We’re the only religion who acts as a democracy:
Tartars for the bad and the Elysian Fields for the good.
Charon and myself have a say in this strife,
And for your feminists, so too does my wife.
So you see, souls are bound to rest exactly where they should.