EnsTren: and I meant boys only like boys if they are gay, not
boys liking girls if they are gay
EnsTren: Edmondia (1:57:57 PM): she doesn't understand the
difference between sex and sensuality
EnsTren (1:58:16 PM): no
EnsTren (1:58:19 PM): she doesn't
EnsTren (1:58:40 PM): bad self image, bad self esteem, high self
confidance
Edmondia (1:58:41 PM): ...Seth's bemoaning his life
Edmondia (1:59:00 PM): ...yes Seth dear, we know she's
gorgeous
Edmondia: ah
Edmondia: he's sitting at her feet and mumbling, "But
hikari-mine is pretty!" with an adorably confused expression on
his face
EnsTren: honestly I don't think they are ever going to have
sex in seto's natural life time
Edmondia: who knows?
EnsTren: And she's skittering over to the corner near a
fireplace
Edmondia: *sweatdrops* we've gotta break her of that
chimney habit
EnsTren: especially considering she can climb all the way up
out of them
Edmondia: ...she needs a psychiatrist
EnsTren: she can't have one, because she's "Seto Kaiba" in
the public eye. psychiatrist apointments would be hard
Edmondia: so get one who she's got blackmail material on
EnsTren: she's paranoid remember
Edmondia: true
Edmondia: ...Yugi kidnaps one and offers it to her?
EnsTren: she doesn't trust Yugi
Edmondia: Mokuba kidnaps one?
EnsTren: would she even talk to the psychiatrist?
Edmondia: I think that logically she knows she has a problem
EnsTren: definitely
Edmondia: wouldn't she want to do all that she could to be
healthy again?
EnsTren: problem is that her virgintiphobia does have shaky
roots in reality EnsTren: her hmn what was it called...heterophobia can be
gotten rid of
EnsTren: fear of sex
EnsTren: but the rape phobia? she has old men oogling her
and trying to pinch her ass, and her hidden gender
Edmondia: all phobias can be dealt with
Edmondia: and she'll eventually know how to defend herself
EnsTren: true, but the virgintiphobia will be much harder
EnsTren: and...the vagi whatis can take months
Edmondia: didn't say it would be a quick process
Edmondia: but people do heal
EnsTren: she's not a happy camper and has PTSD
EnsTren: yes, she would heal eventually
Edmondia: and she wants to be healed
EnsTren: but you know she's going to be feeling "but I was
FINE before him"
Edmondia: which is a major factor in the healing process itself
- she might feel that way, but her logiic and her emotions are
battling it out
Edmondia: and reasonably, she'll know she wasn't
Edmondia: he just acts as a catalyst for all of her phobias
EnsTren: well she could cope better
EnsTren: she took her pills and could be something like
normal
Edmondia: yes, but now they're stuck with each other
Edmondia: which she's slowly coming to accept
EnsTren: but she's having panic attacks, nervousness, and
climbing up chimneys
Edmondia: and she's also becoming violently jealous of
anyone else being around him
EnsTren: because he's hers...not even her own body is hers
Edmondia: exactly
Edmondia: she might hate him, but she's not going to let
anyone take him away from her, either
EnsTren: because he's hers
Edmondia: so in that repsect, she's pretty normal for an
omote
EnsTren: yeah, but I'd say she was more grabby than most
omotes
Edmondia: yes, but that's because she's not as sure as they
are of his intentions
Edmondia: Yugi, Bakura, and Malik are very secure in the
knowledge that their yamis will do absolutely anything for them
Edmondia: Seto's... learning that, I think, but she's not yet
sure
Edmondia: her need to control him also lends to the
'MINE!'-ness of her mindset
EnsTren: yes
EnsTren: because if you control something it cannot hurt you
Edmondia: and... she doesn't have the bond with him that the
others do with their yamis
EnsTren: she doesn't trust him
Edmondia: that too
Edmondia: he trusts her implicitly
EnsTren: She's frightened by him
Edmondia: ...she intimidates him and occasionally freaks him
out, but I don't think he's afraid of her
EnsTren: but he doesn't understand how she could be afraid
of him, doesn't understand how deep her terror is
EnsTren: it's unnatural that she fears her own yami so much
Edmondia: yes, he's very confused by that
Edmondia: which is why he's now... treating her like glass, I
suppose
EnsTren: in the state she's in I think she'd rather go into the
chained up room in her soul room than be touched by him
EnsTren: in fact I can see her doing that to get away from him
Edmondia: he's just... incredibly depressed but trying to keep
up a cheerful face
EnsTren: she doesn't want to kill him anymore at least
Edmondia: that is a good sign
EnsTren: she just wants to run away can hide and cry
Edmondia: ...he just wants to stay where he is and cry
Edmondia: ...it's sort of funny, he doesn't want sex from her
for the pleasure of it
Edmondia: he just wants to be as close to her as he can
EnsTren: I'm seeing Yami and Yugi standing of to the side
and making Seto stay still and let Seth touch her arm, pet/stroke
it, hold her hand
EnsTren: and she's crying
EnsTren: and shaking
Edmondia: ...Mokuba's got his arms wrapped around her
waist and is snuggling her
EnsTren: And that's what's keeping her still
Edmondia: and he's quietly telling her that he loves her and
he's sorry that they have to do this to her
EnsTren: (it's called sphenphosmphobia or Haphephobia) EnsTren: (Aphenphosmphobia, Haphephobia: fear of being
touched)
Edmondia: (ah)
Edmondia: Seth is crying, too, and apologizing
EnsTren: And she's sobbing but keeping her sounds so quiet
he can't hear her. At first her face was dry and tearless, and as
he goes on there are more tears, slowly one by one--and she's
trying so hard to hold them back.
Edmondia: "Neesama, neesama, it's okay, it's okay, you can
cry, it's okay I promise it's okay..."
EnsTren: She doesn't want to, and he can feel tingling
concepts that are high in her mind, from touchnig her. Her
fear--and how crying is weak. And how Cousin and his Aibou
already think so little of her she doesn't want to make herself
even less.
Edmondia: Oh, beloved... I wish you could understand how
much we care for you...
EnsTren: It was her against the world for so long, how can
anyone not be her enemy?
Edmondia: He cried for her.
EnsTren: Poor hikari, so hurt and and mangled, but still
somehow managing to build a tower that could hold off the
world with mangled parts. Until now. He was breaking her,
they were breaking her.
Edmondia: Sorry so sorry so sorry for you, precious beloved
light, so sorry to make you hurt so sad...
EnsTren: She couldn't hear him though. But he prayed, for it
was his only hope, that some of his feeling, some of his
meaning got through to her.
Edmondia: She had to realize... how much...
EnsTren: He loved her. She had to know, realize, feel.
Edmondia: She had to.
EnsTren: She didn't.
EnsTren: She couldn't understand how a man could love a
woman like that, how he could love her.
Edmondia: ...but she knew he felt something for her, and that
was his only hope.
EnsTren: He was crushing her, they were, her magnificent
tower of twisted black iron that should have been of spidersilk
and glass and twice as strong. They were crushing it and
twisting it more in order to straighten it out so she could be
spider silk and glass again.
Edmondia: It was how she should be. How she must be to be
whole.
EnsTren: So she wouldn't hold back soul shaking sobs from
him holding her hand, and wouldn't fear his every movement.
Edmondia: I promise, beloved, I promise we'll be better than
this someday... EnsTren: She was so strong, her tower a hideous beautiful
masterpice--testament to her will.
Edmondia: ...but it wasn't right.
EnsTren: They would make it better together, they had to.
