You want me to tell you a story?
Okay. I know lots.
Once upon a time - there was a kid - he was really cute and stuff. He lived in a nice house with two dogs a rabbit and a hamster - oh yeah - his mommy and daddy lived there too. Okay - there were no dogs or rabbits or hamsters.
How old was the kid? I don't know, I think ten.
Yeah - that sounds right. The mommy and daddy loved the kid a lot. They protected me - uh, I mean him from anything that could hurt him. One time he was in the kitchen and accidentally touched a pot. It spilled all over me and burned me bad. Mommy said that it was my fault for doing something I shouldn't.
He cried and cried. But mommy made it all better. Sometimes I had bad dreams. Bad ones. I heard people laughing and saying bad things. I told mommy about the dreams - but she washed my mouth with soap.
Was I mad at her? No. She wasn't well.
Daddy was only mad when he drank that funny water stuff.
Hmm? Did I have friends? Oh yeah! I had lots. Mommy used to let me go to parties and stuff like that. Sometimes if I was really good and did all my chores like a good boy does, they would let me have them over. We'd have juice and cake - it was fun.
But then they had to go away. I was real lonely.
But mommy said that even if all of them never came back that I would always have her. She always knew what to say.
She was swell. Were they what? Re-religious? Is that like god stuff? Oh yes. They believed in Jesus and Mary and all the others. She said if I was a good boy I would go to heaven and be with all of the other good boys and girls and that we could play all day and night.
H-hit me? No - no they wouldn't. Okay - maybe once or twice. But I was bad. I deserved it right? I mean they wouldn't hurt me if I didn't do something right? Don't want to talk about that no more. No more.
Bad memories? I can't remember any.
But - I remember one day - I woke up from a nap earlier than normal. I remember mommy telling me that she was going to the store to buy some things and that she would be back later. Don't remember what she was shopping for though. I went downstairs to go out and play.
I heard daddy talking to someone so I thought mommy was home. I went out to see them - I was confused. Daddy was there - but the woman wasn't mommy.
The woman was doing things to his - you know?
Daddy was real mad at me. He hit me and said if I told mommy about what he saw - I would go to hell. I was scared. That went on for a while. And it wasn't the same woman either. They were lots of different ones. Some were mommy's age. Some were older than me. One was about my age. She cried a lot.
I wanted to tell mommy - but I didn't want to go to hell. So I asked mommy to come back from the store a little earlier - said I wasn't feeling to good. It was a lie, but it wasn't you know?
She did what I asked cause she wanted me to feel better. I waited by my window. I saw daddy with another woman. They were doing things that they shouldn' have been doing. Uh-uh.
I saw mommy come home. She bought me a treat. When she heard daddy making noises - she looked real sad. She dropped what she had picked up and found daddy and the woman behind bushes. Mommy was real mad. She was screaming and shouting.
I covered my ears and tried to block it out - but it didn't work.
Later that night - daddy woke me up. He hit me until I stopped crying. Said that it was all my fault. Said I was a bad son and that I was going to go to hell. I began to cry again. I ran from my room to talk to mommy. But she hit me too. She said that I knew about this the whole time. Said it was my fault. My Fault.
A little while later - mommy and daddy got sick - not like before - now they were sick-sick. They acted funny. Like something wasn't right in their heads.
Things-things are blurry. I don't remember much.
Like one time, they took me to the park - and bought me ice cream for no reason - just like that. Another time mommy beat me for tying my shoes. Mommy didn't let me do anything. She said that it was for my own good and that she didn't want me to hurt myself. Mommies don't lie. They don't.
I think it was around then - yeah - it was. That was when I starting picking up on things. Nothing spooky like that kid in that ghost movie, but I noticed things. Like how mommy and daddy would fight in home - and how they would act fine and happy when at church functions and when friends were over.
Or how daddy would say that he loved mommy and then would go do stuff with women in the attic. It didn't make any sense to me? Does it sound right to you?
Sometimes - I would wake up all hurt. I would be all bruised and sore. It was so confusing. But mommy always seemed to make me better when that happened.
School? No. That was too dangerous. Mommy said that I would get hurt if I went there. She wanted to keep me safe - but I had to go. Some law or something.
I remember how the kids always teased me and picked on me. Why are other kids so mean? I never did anything to them. I just wanted to be like them - to be normal. But I am normal now right?
I don't know much about school. I never passed a test or other stuff. Every time I tried to bring it home - mom would take it away from me and do it herself. And she would do it wrong. Said that she didn't want my fool head filling with crazy ideas.
I don't remember anything else about school. Everything was at home after that. Mommy did everything for me. It was nice and all, but I couldn't do anything for myself. After a while I began to forget things that I knew how to do before.
Did I feel trapped? No. I know that mommy was just looking out for me. If she didn' I would have gotten hurt. She protected me. It is a dangerous world out there you know? I don't know exactly what happened next. I remember voices - so many voices. They were all trying to tell me something - but I don't remember what.
But what I do remember is when my mommy and daddy went away. I remember hearing them say that they would come back for me. They did I tell you! They promised! So I waited - and waited - and waited but they never came back. I thought they must have forgotten me. But how could they forget their little boy?
I was in some sort of hospital or orphanage or something. People tried to talk to me but I wouldn't listen. They were all saying lies. They said that mommy and daddy weren't coming back. I told them that they promised. They stuck a needle in my arm to make me sleepy.
It really hurt. I fell asleep and had all sorts of crazy dreams. I saw a mean person laughing. He was older and looked real angry. He said that mommy and daddy were gone forever. Then I saw another person. He looked a little older than me. He said that the other guy was right. They said that they would be there for me though.
I woke up screaming.
I tried to move but I couldn't.
had been tied down to the bed. The voices in my head were scaring me and there was no one there to make them go away.
My embrace? What is that? A hug? Oh, you mean when I got the pointy teeth.
That happened a little later. I tried to get the doctors and nurses to help me but no one wanted to. It was as though I didn't exist - like I had fallen in a hole and some meanie had covered it up. I was sad - scared - lonely. I was so scared that I really thought I was going to die.
That was when I saw him. Who? Uncle Happy of course. He looked like a happy clown. He danced through the nurses and doctors - no one knew he was there. (I tried telling others about him, but they thought he was my imaginary friend) he told me jokes, bedtime stories.
He was the only one that believed me when I said that mommy and daddy were going to come back for me. That was when he explained that he was different. Well, I sort of picked up on that already you know? I mean, normal people aren't like invisible or stuff like that.
He said that if I wanted, he could look after me until mommy and daddy came back. I smiled and said okey-dokey. It really hurt. I mean more than anything mommy or daddy did. But then is stopped. I was seeing things through different eyes. It looked like everything was glowing and stuff. I could hear people talking when they were whispering and I could be invisible like Uncle Happy.
Rules? You mean those Tradition things? Yeah, he told me about them and said that if I broke them that I would go to hell. He didn?t have to tell me twice. What are they? Uhm, one is stay in hiding - oh what is it called? Oh yeah, Masquerade. Another is uhm, you are responsible for your kids or something like that. Accounting? Yeah, that sounds about right. Oh I know this one. Don't have kids until you're married or daddy says so. Progeny - I think. Another? Uhm, be nice and tell people when you visit them. Hospitality - I think that's what he said. Oh - these get so confusing. Don't tell me I know it! Uhm, you don't make rules in daddy's yard - I mean it is daddy's yard and all. Domain - that sounds like the right word. There's one more? I thought I got them all. Oh wait! I remember! Thou shall not kill! Like in the bible even! Destruction.
See I know my stuff? I may be young but I'm not stupid.
What happened next? Uncle Happy took me away from the hospital thing and showed me home. All of my toys - everything was burnt black and dirty. At that moment - I thought that all of those people in the hospital were right. My mommy and daddy did leave me all alone.
Uncle Happy placed his hand on my shoulder and said to me that if I loved them and if they loved me - and they did love me - they did - they would always be with me.
I didn't understand what he meant at first, but he explained it to me pretty good.
After that we were like bestest friends.
Huh? What scares me the most? I don't know. lots of stuff. But the scariest is danger. Mommy always warned me about dangerous stuff. It got to the point when my mind could tell when I could tell when I was in danger. I don't know what happens, but I run and run and run until I black out.
But I usually wake up later in another place and I'm all better.
Sometimes I still see things - I don't understand them most of the time, but other people can help me make sense of it. That scares me too.
What would I like to do? Lots of stuff - I'd like to learn how to read and write and do thinking sort of stuff, but no one wants to help a freak like me.
You don' think I am?
You're so nice.
Does anyone hate me? I don't think so. I'm just a kid.
Why would anyone hate me? There was one person that didn't like me though. He used to say all sorts of mean things to me to hurt my feelings. But Uncle Happy bopped him on the head and told him to stop it.
I don't know where Uncle Happy is anymore though. People still tease me. Some even want to hurt me.
I guess mommy was right - the world really is a dangerous place.
Good night. It's nappy time for me...