Chapter Four: Hide and Seek
By Richard LeBlanc
It had taken most of the night to get any leads as to where the Malkavian known as Doctor Jest  was - one of his contacts in the Warzone managed to come through. Calloway knelt down on the ground and looked around. Supposedly - where he was - was where Jest pranked the prince and cost him - and his clan everything.
"All that hunting for what? I tell you keep this up and you will be keeping me company in the hereafter," the ghost taunted. He frowned as he looked over his shoulder at the ethereal apparition.
"Go away. I don't have time for you now," he muttered. He slowly got up and looked around. Something happened after the prank went down - but what? Why did he fade from sight. He tapped his fingers against an oil drum that had the words Skamms was here on it.
"And where pray tell could I go?" the ghost challenged.
"I have a few suggestions," he muttered - doing his best to remain in control of his emotions. The ghost mockingly clapped.
"I guess you told me," the ghost muttered. It was then that they looked over and saw one of his influences from the street heading his way. "More good news I bet," he added.
"Shut up," he muttered.
"Calloway - I was hoping you would still be here," his contact - a low-level gang member began.
"This is a pretty open place - I hope you have something a little more concrete for me to work with," he stated calmly.
"Well - fucked as this sounds - the some freak at the psyche-ward on the other side of town was friends with the person you asked about," he relayed.
"Good news? I almost forgot what that was. Does this person have a name?" Calloway asked.
"Don't know his real name - but people call him Slap Happy. Word is the guy is completely fucking nuts. If that helps great - other than that - nothing," he stated. Calloway reached into his pocket and handed him a hundred.
"That - does quite a bit more than this place does. If something comes up - I'll be in touch," the vampire said. The gang member nodded as he hurried away. "Completely nuts - nick named Slap Happy. Sounds to me like the Malkavian Primogen," he said to himself.
"Come up with that all by yourself. I am bowing in the presence of your great deductive prowess," the ghost mocked. Calloway looked at the specter that was taunting him.
"Are you quite finished?" he asked intolerantly.
"For now. So what are you going to do now hero? Talk to the prince? Or better yet - wade into a haven full of deranged Mooks," the ghost challenged. Calloway smiled as he walked over to where the specter was.
"I hadn't thought about the latter. Thanks for the idea," he remarked as he began to walk away from the ghost.
"He's gonna do it? My nerves - he has lost what precious little is left of his mind," he muttered as he faded away.
A short while later - deep within the  in the local haven where the Malkavian clan often liked to play. Slap Happy was chasing a terrified teen around the room with a giant wooden mallet.
"Come here! It will only hurt for a moment!" he teased - swinging wildly.
"Last time you said that I couldn't move for a week!" the terrified teen retorted as he ran his head into a pipe - almost knocking himself unconscious. Slap Happy hid the hammer behind his back and bent over the teen.
"Do you see stars or birdies?" he asked.
"Neither - owie," the teen muttered - rolling around holding his head.
"Is nothing in cartoons true?" Slap Happy muttered - tossing his mallet aside. He walked over to a billboard where all the instant pictures of the pranks played by Snapps had been displayed. Of all the people in the city - it seemed that only he could remember that crazy Mook. "Was it all just some - crazy dream?" he asked himself.
"Not a dream - a nightmare," a girl said as she began cutting her arm with a piece of broken glass.
"Either or - no one seems to know of him save me. I try to tell them - I showed the pics - and still they think I'm crazy," he stated. A small boy vampire dragging a mutilated teddy bear tugged on his arm. "What?" he asked.
"I hate to say this - but - you are crazy," the boy stated.
"OH yeah. I keep forgetting," he admitted. It was then that they heard a creaking noise. "Kill it! Someone is coming!" Slap Happy called out. Everyone was quiet. All that could be heard was the sound of static coming from the television that didn't work and the sound of someone - slowly walking down the staircase that led to the haven.
"Who is it boss?" a vampire with a twitching eye asked.
"Someone that shouldn't be here. Be ready to show whoever the unlucky person is - just how unlucky it is to find what his curiosity has found," he whispered. The fifteen Malkavians that were there vanished into the flickering shadows of the room.
"Peek a boo - I see you and you should not be in here," Slap Happy stated as he saw a man in a doctor's jacket slowly making his way down the stairs. "Don't know the colors - you aren't local - Jest - is that you?" Slap Happy hesitantly asked. The person reached the bottom of the staircase. "Shit - not Jest. Get him!" he shouted. The vampiric boy leaped from the shadows. A series of moves knocked the vampire senseless. Slowly - the intruder made his way towards Slap Happy.
"You know Jest?" Calloway asked. "What good fortune - I just happen to be looking for him," he added. The girl leaped over and stabbed the piece of broken glass into his foot.
"Get him! Get him now!" Slap Happy called out as all of the Malkavians attempted to swarm on him. Calloway kicked the deranged girl away from him. he kicked away one vampire that was armed with a bat wrapped with barbed wire. He spun around and slashed at two vampires armed with scalpels.
Slap Happy followed every movement Calloway made with his eyes and was modestly stunned when a panting Calloway was standing amidst all of the twitching Mooks he had taken down. Slowly his eyes looked over and locked onto the Primogen. He watched as they churned from normal - to those of a snake.
"I have come here - looking for answers," he said.
"How did you find this haven?" Slap Happy demanded.
"You people make enough noise to wake the dead - well - you do if you know what to listen for. Back to the issue at hand," Calloway began as he slowly made his way towards the paralyzed Primogen.
"You are in traditional breach land - I don't know you - domain they cry - domain!" Slap Happy stated. Calloway blinked - his eyes were back to normal. The Primogen backed away - his back touched the wall. "And uhm - hospitality," he added. Calloway almost glided across the gap between them like a venomous snake and had a dagger to his neck.
"What about destruction - wouldn't want to leave out the biggie," he pointed out.
"You don't want to do that," Slap Happy suggested. The Setite pushed the knife closer to his neck.
"Try the fucking head games with me lunatic. Please," he goaded.
"You have an attitude - who is your friend by the way?" he asked. From the corner of his eye - he could see the ghost that haunted Calloway.
"A figment of your overactive imagination," Calloway stated.
"I'm Slap Happy - who are you?" he asked the spirit ignoring Calloway.
"Me? I am known as Luther," the ghost replied.
"AH - nice name. Is your friend always this tense?" he asked.
"Has been as long as I've known him," the ghost replied. Calloway groaned and shook his head. He was about to demand the Mook's attention when he noticed the pictures of pranks played by Snapps.
"What the? What the hell are these?" he asked. Slap Happy looked over his shoulder at the pictures and smiled.
"Those - he-he. These are pranks that have been pulled off by a forgotten legend. I can't remember everything about the boy and everyone else has no clue the boy even existed - but the kid was a fucking true to god prodigy. His pranks were almost fucking artistic - not autistic," he stated seriously.
"Must have been a fucked up mind to conjure this shit up," Calloway muttered. He looked before him - the Malkavian was gone. "Fuck!" he cursed. "Come out now!" he ordered.
"OH yeah - that will work," the ghost of the Setite Luther remarked. Calloway was about to shout at the ghost when he remembered what he was dealing with. He sighed and shook his head as he sat down.
"Slap Happy - come here for a moment," he began as he stabbed his dagger into the wall. "I want to play - a game - with you," he suggested. The lights flickered - the Primogen came out of hiding and made his way over to where the intruder was.
"What kind of game do you have in mind?" he asked.
"Hide and Seek. Doctor Jest - is it. Where is he hiding?" he asked.
"If I knew the answer to that I would be buying lottery tickets. One thing I do know is that the lad who did all those things - he was Jest's boy. Oh he knew how to play," Slap Happy said shaking his head.
"You friends with the doctor?" Slap Happy asked.
"Not exactly," Calloway stated.
"True," the vampiric boy said as he vanished from sight.
"Do you want to hurt him?" Slap Happy asked.
"I might have too," Calloway replied.
"True again," the girl with cut up arms said as she flopped down on a chair.
"We playing truth or dare?" Calloway asked.
"Do I look like fucking Madonna?" Slap Happy retorted curtly.
"God I hope not. When was the last time you saw Jest?" Calloway asked.
"Last big prank that shocked the world baby," he replied. Calloway studied the distant look in the Malkavian's crazy eyes.
"When the Brujah retook their place at the top of the food chain?" he asked.
"Yeah baby yeah!" he answered - doing a very bad Austin Powers impression. "Oh! I am seeing a vision. He knows you want to play!" he added eagerly as he stared at the Setite.
"How did he learn?" he asked.
"I told him," Slap Happy mused.
"Bullshit. I have had about enough of this shit," he said as he drew another dagger.
"Madness they say? Or madness network?" Slap Happy asked as he began drooling.
"I prefer teletoon myself," a Malkavian with a dead cat on his head stated.
"I think the boy is on the level," Luther remarked.
"Oh hoe! The ghost speaks true - true? Ah - ick," Slap Happy tensed up. His neck cracked. His head lolled for a second and then slowly - he looked over at Calloway - only the look in his eye - was not that of the lunatic he was talking too.
"Oh - you want to play with me," Slap Happy stated coolly.
"You Jest?" Calloway asked.
"I have been called that more than once. What are you doing here? If you are looking for me - you should be in Chamberlan. That is where I like to play," Slap Happy said coolly as he walked over to where Calloway was. "But - I feel it only fair to warn you snake - I do play for keeps. You still wanna play?" he asked coldly.
"I wouldn't have it any other way," Calloway retorted.
"Oh - you have bite. I like that. West side of the room - there is an old tunnel - former subway that once went between the cities something like twenty years ago. It is in seriously fucked up shape - but it is the best fucking shortcut if you are in a hurry," Slap Happy stated - motioning to that side of the room.
"How many people know about this short cut of yours?" he asked.
"It is a special little secret that I am sharing only - with you. Why? Because it is so rare for me to find someone that actually wants to play with me," he mused. Calloway held a dagger to the Primogen's throat.
"Often it is said - to hide in plain sight is the best recourse. How do I know you are not Jest?" he asked seriously.
"This - is just a body. He let me - borrow it. When he crossed the network and said that there was someone seeking me - someone that wanted to play with me - well - you got my undivided attention," Slap Happy stated.
"True," the boy and girl replied as one.
"How do I know this isn't a trap or a trick?" he asked seriously.
"For a limited time only - Jest will be in Chamberlan - the city where legends were made and soon forgotten. Offer is for a limited time only hero. Act now - or forever rust in peace. You wanted to play with the genie baby. You rubbed my lamp and BOOM - I am coming out," Slap Happy goaded. "So - what is it going to be - yea - or nay?" he asked seriously. Calloway looked to the other side of the room and saw a grate that was missing three screws.
"Ah - I see that you are looking at door number one. What is behind it you ask? Me - in Chamberlan. Come on scales - you know you want it. Play with the madness - it will make a man out of you," Slap Happy mocked. "Eep," he strained. He went cross-eyed and fell to the floor.
"The king has left the building," another Mook called out.
"Rock and a sharp place - great," he muttered as he walked across the room. He lifted the grate up and moved it aside. The tunnel below - looked old and very unused. "Anywhere would have to be better than here about now," he muttered as he dropped down from sight. Slap Happy twitched and slowly got up.
"Okay - who has been spiking the punch again?" he asked sternly.
Down below some time later in the almost pitch black tunnel - Calloway was slowly making his way along the wall. Without any other sensory input - he could only guess how far he had gone. All he could see in the darkness was the ghost that was following him.
"Who would have thought that such a place was here? No wonder the good doctor was able to get in and out of the city unnoticed. I wonder what other tricks he has up his sleeves," Luther pondered.
"Please - shut up," he requested. He sighed as he leaned against the wall. It was getting late. He was getting tired. He slumped down to the floor. "Fuck I'm tired," he muttered. It was then that he heard a loud creaking and clanging noise.
"Congratulations - you walked us into a trap," Luther muttered. Calloway looked to the right - two roof panels creaked open - and slammed into the walls - sunlight flooded into the tunnel where they opened.
"Dawn," he muttered. He prepared to run the other way - when the same thing happened in that direction. "Shit," he cursed as the window of darkness that kept him safe - began to slowly close in on him.
To Be Continued...
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