CREEPY CASTLE
DOG CONNECTION?

Ace Reporter Derrick Hmm examines what is really going on in Eden Falls

            If there is one thing in this world that Mayor Fang-Fluffy ISN’T, that would be Stereotypical.  Thinking of that makes me wonder why she chose a Creepy Castle as the location of Challenge #4.  In absolutely every scary movie, someone ends up dead in a Creepy Building.  Why didn’t she chose a Fish Factory, Best Buy Store, or even a Frat House at Notre Dame on a Sunday night when they just won the Rose Bowl?  What interests me even more is the layout of this so-called castle.  Upon entry, you are automatically in the Attic.  And in some freaky way, the basement is the only room that connects to the Driveway.  In a building so confusing, it would seem as if they were hiding something…

                       Something indeed.  There is only one solution to something as morbid and complicated as this.  Mayor Fang-Fluffy didn’t choose this location at all.  The horrifying truth is that she was blackmailed by the DOG Organization into luring every resident of Eden Falls into the same building in an attempt to kill them all.  Why a Creepy Castle?  Simple.  Just think of all the cool deaths that could happen in a Creepy Castle.  And what’s a castle without Gallows?  A perfect place for the Lynch Mob Marshalling Area.  “Where is the proof?” you ask yourselves.  Think.  Two days ago there was no castle right there.  In fact, there was a Shooting Range in its exact location.  What can we expect next?

            The fact that we were skillfully manipulated by the Mayor is not at all what concerns me.  The real question we should be asking ourselves is “Why?”  What truths does Mayor Fang-Fluffy hold from us that would be enough to be blackmailed by the DOG Organization?  I fear that soon we will find out.  And I fear that it won’t be an easy discovery.  I know some of you are thinking, “You are wrong.  You must have dying batteries in your GPS or something… those locations can’t be the same.”  Well, lets do a little research of our so-called Creepy Castle.

             Searching for Creepy Castle on the internet, I found two things.  The first was The Dali Llamas distant 16th cousin.  Not much there to build on.  The second thing I found was a 1978 movie called ‘Bark a Storm’.  Upon viewing the movie I found out some disturbing information.  The movie is based upon a Family Mafia.  The Mafia is determined to kill the group of people who killed The Don.  This group of people is known none other than The Dogs.  The Dogs catch on to the Mafia’s plan and blackmail the FEMALE MAYOR into gathering all the members of the Mafia into an old castle.  The location of this movie is France, by the way.  Anyway, after all the members of the Mafia are situated in the CREEPY CASTLE, The Dogs ambush.  All of the Mafia members are killed.  If you haven’t caught on by now, start paying attention to the game more.  Was the founding of Eden Falls based on a 1978 French motion picture?

             This is arguable.  I say yes.  As disturbing as it is, our loveable Mayor Fang-Fluffy is actually a rag doll for a killer organization of which she initially founded.  Now, we have only supported our evidence.  We haven’t answered the ultimate question.  Why?  Here is the answer the movie supplied.  The Mayor in ‘Bark a Storm’ was secretly a member of The Dogs.  She needed them, they needed her.  It all balanced out.  Unfortunately for Mayor Fang-Fluffy, there is a somewhat nosey reporter that likes to look into things like this.  As if we didn’t need anymore evidence, there is more.  Fang-Fluffy is an adopted last name.  Her first task as member of the DOG Organization must have been to adopt that last name.  Seems farfetched.  But think about it.  In a world where everyone fears dogs, why would the Mayor change her last name to Fang-Fluffy?  Exactly.

             My only concern now is if Morticia is also in on this.  If she is, I give my heart out to all the corpses who have fallen victim to Morticia’s desire for dead meat.  My final line is Don’t Trust Anyone.

             Now that I have found out this information, I plan to sell it on eBay to the highest bidder.  Oh, wait.  You already have it.  DAMN.

 Article Written and Research Conducted By:  Derrick Hmm

 

setstats 1
Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1