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BAND
FOR HIRE
Phil
Attio and the Cunning Linguists is an up and
cumming progressive rock band that originates
in Eden Falls. The band consists of:
Jason
Nads: Geetar and Mouth
Kylie McWidelips: Lead Geetar
and Backup Mouth
Marie
Yinz: Bass
Kevin
"Jawz" Oflurrve:
Percussion/Spoons/Tambourines
Aaron
"The thin one" Schlong:
Kazoo (only sometimes)
Riento
Kumanawanalaya: Drums/Percussion/Tambourines
The band would
like the Eden Falls community to know that
they are available for all kinds of gigs and
events, and that they are all extremely
talented and dedicated to performance.
The band is currently looking for a
independent record contract in the Eden Falls
area. Phil Attio and the Cunning
Linguists would also like to inform you that
all of them know how to read.
Influences
include: Captain Geech and the Shrimp
Shack Shooters, Weezer, Chumbawumba, Pink
Floyd, The Presidents of the United States of
America, Capture the Frag, Evil Condom,
Bazooka Joe, Creedence Clearwater Revival, The
Velvet Underground, Scratch Acid, Nirvana,
Really Bad Emo Bands, White Boy Funk Sucks,
Barry White, and Fugazi.
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Funeral
Planning Services by Morticia
There
is no time like the present to be thinking about
your final resting place. Pre-arranging your
headstone can be helpful for the loved ones you
leave behind.
Please visit the Eden
Falls Memorial Garden and go to the Funeral
Home. You will find a selection of eight lovely
headstones that can be customized to your
liking. If there is something else you would
like to see on your headstone we will strive to
accommodate you. If your request is impossible,
however, you are out of luck but you will be
dead so no big deal.
It is not necessary to pre-arrange your
headstone it would just be one less worry for
you when the time comes (oh, and it WILL come)
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Piano,
for sale
by
lady with beautifully twisted legs.
Call
for appointment
~~~~
Wicker
Furniture Sale!
Buy
now! Half off! It won't last long!
McNeil's
Furniture
~~~~
Correction:
We
apologize for the misprint in last week's
edition. It was not a picture of Mayor
Fang-Fluffy as the caption said, but was instead
a picture of a broken-down truck. We
apologize for the inconvenience.
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Moderators
R Us
For
the best in miniature collectables
Click
here
for a catalogue
~~~~
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An
Invitation
All
Eden Falls Residents are
Invited to visit the Pit of Spit..
click
here
Help
us Clobber with Slobber
Each
Hit counts as a Spit!
~~~~
Madame
Royale's
Cosmic Readings
*
Crystal Ball Readings
* Dream Interpretation
* Fortunes Told
* Numerology
* Palms Read
* Seances
* Tarot Readings
Click here
for an appointment
~~~~
Eden
Falls
Memorial Wall
say
your goodbyes here
~~~~
Say
it with Flowers
For
your Dearly Departed's grave...
Show them you still care.
Click
here
~~~~
Celtic
Cleaner
Let
ME take care
of
your dirty business
Click
here
for more details
~~~~
FROM
A DOG
KILLING.IS.FOR.THE.DOGS.
BUT.THANKS.FOR.YOUR.
HELP.TONIGHT.
Visit
the Dogs' Home here
~~~~
Wedding
Celebrant
for
Hire
click
here
for a tour of
Dena's Chapel of Love
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Pizzerotico
closed
til
further
notice
The
Heirs of Mr Leo L'Erotico,
would
like to thank customers
for
their loyal patronage, however
Pizzerotico
will remain closed
for
the near future.
~~~~
Kylie's
Leather Couch
Marriage,
Family, and
Sex
Counselling Services
Click
here
for an appointment
~~~~
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