| How to stand out at work |
| 1 : Page yourself at work, do not disguise your voice 2 : Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits and wear them the day after your boss does, this is more fun if you boss is of the opposite gender 3 : While sitting at your desk soak your fingers in 'Palmolive' 4 : Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle 5 : Every time someone asks you to do something ask them if they want fries with that 6 : Every time you tell someone what to do, finish the sentance with the phrase 'according to the prophecy' 7 : Put the bin on your desk and label it 'IN' 8 : Put decaf in the coffee maker for a month. Once everyone has got over there caffeine addictions, switch to espresso 9 : In the memo field of all your checks write 'for sexual favours' 10: When driving colleagues around insist on keeping your windscreen wipers running at all times, claiming that 'they need the exercise' 11: Sit in the car park at lunchtime pointing a hairdryer at passing cars to see if they slow down 12: Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about 'psycological profiles' |