| Humorous Been there, done that, don't remember most of it. Power to the imbociles of the country! Wait - they already ahve it! I laugh in the face of danger and then I hide until it goes away. Were you born stupid or did you have to work on it? If you're thinking of jumping, you should go up to the roof and do it right. -Ms. Parker "Pretender" TV Show You can't make somebody love you - you can only stalk them and hope they give in. Confidence is kind of a flightly thing. It's like PMS - it comes and goes. I have PMS and a gun. Excuse me, did you say something? We are the people our parents warned us about. Don't you try to outwierd me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal. Of course I still love you. Now stop whining and let me shoot you. I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks. Go thou and sin more creatively next time. When in dobut, fuck it. When not in doubt...get in doubt! Don't underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. I know "love is blind" but is it deaf, dumb and stupid too?! -Cosmic Serenity (Bolt Member) Gossip is a nasty bitch. I'm only smiling because I have no idea what's going on. Flirtation: Attention with Intention Everyone's allowed to be stupid...but you're abusing the privilege. Two words guys hate..."Don't" and "Stop" unless you put 'em together! Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once. Just because you have a nice ass doesn't mean you hafta be one. "What fools these mortals be"...Is Shakespeare calling me a moron? Trust me, anger is good. An evil laugh and a high middle finger are better than tears and moaning sometimes. I don't hate you...you're just blacklisted until further notice. -Me I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you. I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it. If being sane is thinking there's something wrong with being different...I'd rather be fucking mental. My mother told me not to talk to strangers...I never talk to myself anymore. Enjoy life. There is plenty of time to be dead. A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend is sitting beside you saying, "Damn! That was great!" I'm a tough job but somebody's gotta do me. Your mother pays me to be nice to you. Sometimes when I feel like killing someone , I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to th persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but do you know what I've left on the porch? A Jack-O-Lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says "You". After that I usually feel a lot better and no harm done. -Jack Handy You have two ears and one mouth. Use them accordingly. Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. -Mark Twain I don't break the rules. I merely test their elasticity. Laughter is a tranquilzer with no side effects. When angry, count four. When very angry, swear. -Mark Twain Tell the truth and run. Fight crime, shoot back. I'm not as think as you drunk I am. Suicide is a way of ttelling god, "You can't fire me - I QUIT!" I'm not smiling at you, you idiot. I'm trying not to laugh. If love is hiding in every corner, then I must be the only dumbass running in circles. That which does not kill me...had better run fast. A woman is like a tea bag - you never know her strength until you drop her in hot water. We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like. Be kind to unkind people; it gets to them. In security knocks from time to time. Invite it in for a cup of tea. Talk with it. Understand it. Then take that sugar spoon and poke it in the eye. I'll be sober tomorrow but you'll always be stupid. Men cannot live on chocolate alone; but women sure can! When life hands you some lemons, ask for some tequilla and salt. One day your prince wil come, mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is to stubborn to ask for directions. I'm 51% sweetheart and 49% bitch so don't push it. Percentages subject to change without notice. Don't think I fell for you, you tripped me. Courage, Sacrifice, Determination, Committment, Toughness, Heart, Talent, Guts, that's what little girls are made of; to hell with sugar and spice! I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people. Screw twizzlers...I'll make your mouth happy. No officer, there's no blood in my alcohol system. My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems. I'm feeling a little off today...anyone wanna turn me on? Sex isn't the answer...it's the question..."Yes" is the answer! Don't follow in my footsteps. I run into walls. There's absolutely no excuse for the way I'm about to behave. Some people are alive just because it's against the law to kill them. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me! You'll always be a wicked friend...you know too much. If you don't remember...it didn't happen. It takes 14 muscles to smile, but it only takes 7 to reach out and slap the bastard upside the back of the head. I've gone to find myself. If I get back before I return, please keep me here. You're only given a little spark of madness. You musn't lose it. - Robin Williams |