I�ve recently read a number of articles about funeral practices in the U.S. and other countries. The recent death of my first wife, Mary Ann, gave me my first chance to be close to the whole process and I wanted to comment on it. First, the funeral home people in both Cortez and Menomonie tried to keep the process as easy as possible for my son, Michael. The Cortez people picked up Mary Ann�s body within an hour of her death, did the embalming, arranged for transportation to Menomonie and liaised with the funeral home in Menomonie. The Menomonie funeral home stored Mary Ann�s body for a week, provided a room for the memorial service with a staff member on call throughout but in the background, arranged for police help on the trip to the cemetery and liaised with the cemetery people to get the site Mary Ann wanted. All of this is good. Whether the price Michael paid for it is fair or not, I couldn�t say. What I do know is that the process was as painless as it could be for Michael, who had been Mary Ann�s primary care-giver for the last year of her life. It also allowed Michael and I to drive to Wisconsin without feeling that we were under pressure and to focus on Mary Ann�s family and friends when we got to Menomonie instead of dealing with arrangements for her burial. This was definitely good.
It has become politically correct to criticize funeral homes and their practices in the U.S. ever since Jessica Mitford�s book, �The American Way of Death,� was published back in the 60�s. I recently read an article about �Green Funerals� in which, at its most extreme, the relatives of the deceased wrap the body in a shroud, dig the grave themselves and personally bury the person. I must say that such a process would have been too much for Michael on top of a year of nursing Mary Ann to say nothing of the problems involved in getting her body back to Menomonie without embalming it. Mary Ann wanted to be buried in Menomonie in the cemetery of her choice. At one time she and I were members of the Bay Area Funeral Society which provides cremation and a simple urn for the ashes for a very small flat fee. I was surprised that Mary Ann had changed her attitude over the years but she wanted what she wanted and we could not have given her that without the help of the funeral homes. I personally want a simple cremation and a simple memorial service followed by a great party but that�s me, not her. The bottom line is Michael�s comment, on our drive back to Cortez, that even though it was expensive, the total cost was worth it. I can�t argue with that.
The Beautiful
On Sunday morning Michael and I started our return journey. We decided to go via Chicago so we could visit my brother, Pat, who Michael hadn�t seen in years. The three of us planned to watch the Green Bay Packers play-off game together, a Wisconsinite ritual of mythic proportions. It also will give us a chance to stop in Madison, Wisconsin and visit the University of Wisconsin campus where I had spent over six memorable and exciting years earning my bachelor�s degree. The roads were icy and the weather was grey as we zipped down the interstate. A trip that took at least five hours in 1962 can now be accomplished in 3� hours even with a refreshment stop. When we got to Madison, my memory machine started operating at top speed. Much has changed in Madison but the campus hasn�t changed all that much. We decided to have a bratwurst lunch at the Brathouse, a Madison landmark, only to find that the name had been changed to State Street Brats. I asked why and couldn�t get an answer except that the new owners did it some years before. I worked at the Brathouse as a bartender for a short time. Bratwurst and steak sandwiches were 35 cents. They are now $6.00. The brats are still great, though. I used to live on about $15-20 a week. Now that would buy me a night out if I was careful with my money. We visited the Memorial Student Union, particularly Der Rathskellar, which when I went to school was the only student union in the U.S. that served beer. I was astounded by the sight of students, all with laptop computers, having a study session. Where were the books? I realized how much has changed since I went to school so many years ago.
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