Scene opens up with a shot of late night talk show host Jay Leno!

'Jay Leno' Welcome back folks. Now my next guest is here promoting the RAW PPV Judgment Day coming up on June 11. Please make him welcome, The Undertaker

The fans begin to clap as Jay Leno stands up and The Undertaker walks out from the back, he shakes hands with Jay Leno and then takes a seat.

'Jay Leno' Welcome Undertaker, now firstly, Judgment Day will be taking place on June 11 right?

'U N D E R T A K E R' Right.

'Jay Leno' Now have you got a match forJudgment Day as of yet?

'U N D E R T A K E R' Not yet.

'Jay Leno' Why's that?

'U N D E R T A K E R' Well I don't have one yet, but after this week on SLAM! I am guaranteed to have one

'Jay Leno' Why? What happens on SLAM!.

'U N D E R T A K E R' I face Triple H

Fans boo.

'Jay Leno' We don't like Triple H do we?

'U N D E R T A K E R' And my match with Triple H is for the number one contendership, so after I breeze past Triple H I am guaranteed a match with Christian Cage at Judgment Day for the RAW World Championship. You know what pisses me off about Triple H the most?

'Jay Leno' What's that?

'U N D E R T A K E R' He can not keep his nose out of anyone's business.

'Jay Leno' I don't think he can keep his nose out of anything because his nose is so damn big.

Everyone laughs except for The Undertaker. He continues to stare demonically at Jay Leno.

'U N D E R T A K E R' Is this a joke to you?

'Jay Leno' What do you mean?

'U N D E R T A K E R' I don't appreciate you making jokes about my life.

'Jay Leno' Huh? I wasn't making a joke about your life.

'U N D E R T A K E R' Shut it Jay. I am taking Triple H very, very seriously. He is one of the best the RAW has to offer and I am going to have to be on my game if I am going to beat him so I don't appreciate you making jokes about things I am taking seriously.

'Jay Leno' Huh? Jeez Taker. Settle down. Vince McMahon was right, you do have an anger problem

'U N D E R T A K E R' I do not have an anger problem.

'Jay Leno' Huh? Okay, whatever you say.

'U N D E R T A K E R' Damn right.

'Jay Leno' So Taker. Do you think you can beat Triple H at SLAM!?

'U N D E R T A K E R' Yes

'Jay Leno' Jeez, you are the man of a thousand words aren't ya.

'U N D E R T A K E R' Are you being smart?

'Jay Leno' No.

'U N D E R T A K E R' Are you disrespecting me?

'Jay Leno' No.

'U N D E R T A K E R' I think you are.

'Jay Leno' I'm not. I swear.

'U N D E R T A K E R' Well I don't care if you are or not because I got nothing against you Jay. So I am going to take out my fury and aggression on that other piece of disrespecting crap Triple H.

'Jay Leno' Cool, that's what we wanna hear!

'U N D E R T A K E R' But I am going to have to apologize to Christian Cage

'Jay Leno' Why's that?

'U N D E R T A K E R' Because I know Cage was itching to face Triple H for the third time at Judgment Day just so he can finally shut his mouth but that isn't going to be happening.

'Jay Leno' Well Taker. Triple H may be watching this show right now. So have you got any words for Triple H?

'U N D E R T A K E R' Yeah I do. Triple H, I want you to think about something......twenty nine years about in my backyard, I was playing around in the garage with my younger brother Kane, we were playing around with fire and Kane was really pissing me off that day, he wouldn't shut up......so I lit his big red ass on fire, he ran out of the garage screaming, yelling for help, his father and my step father quickly ran out of our house to see what the commotion was about, he immediately saw a fireball run back and forth across our small backyard screaming, he quickly got the garden hose and extinguished the fire, but it was too late, Kane was burned. My step father began to cradle Kane in his arms as both began to cry and the noise of the fire truck could be heard blocks away, I was sitting against the fence.....laughing, I enjoyed it. It gave me satisfaction...........Triple H......I want you to think about this......if I can do that to my own brother.......think about what I am going to do to you.

The Undertaker stares evilly into the camera, he gets out of his seat and walks off the stage as the crowd and Jay Leno stare on in stunned silence.


 

SCENE 2
�Fire Safety�
 

Scene opens up the next morning at a fire station where The Undertaker is making an appearance for charity. The charity of nose cancer. The Undertaker only is apart of this charity as he thinks it would be funny if Triple H got nose cancer. The scene shows a few fire trucks, a few firemen and a bunch of kids who are suffering from the dreaded nose cancer disease.

'Fire Man #1" Well kids. We are about to start. Firstly, we are going to introduce our special guest for you today. The Undertaker!

The kids begin to cheer and The Undertaker waves at the kids.

'Fire Man #1" Now kids, firstly we are going to go over the rules of fire. Number one, never play with fire.

The Undertaker laughs.

'U N D E R T A K E R' You should of told me that 32 years ago.

'Fire Man #1" Why?

'U N D E R T A K E R' Don't worry. An incident with fire when I was younger, no big deal.

'Fire Man #1" Right........

#### 10 MINUTES LATER ####

Scene: Scene opens back up around ten minutes later after the firemen finish going over the rules. The kids around lining up to get a quick autograph with The Undertaker next to one of the fire trucks. The first kid walks up to The Undertaker.

'Young Fan #1" Undertaker! What's up?

'U N D E R T A K E R' Not much kid.

'Young Fan #1" Can you sign this T-Shirt?

'U N D E R T A K E R' Sure

The Undertaker signs the kid's "Big Evil" T-Shirt.

'Young Fan #1" Thanks a whole lot Deadman, can you please do me a favour?

'U N D E R T A K E R' Sure kid, what do you want?

'Young Fan #1" Can you please kick the crap out of Triple H on SLAM!, he really annoys me, him and that little slut Stephanie.

'U N D E R T A K E R' Yeah, she is a bit of a slut isn't she? She must be to be with Triple H and don't worry kid, I will beat the crap out of Triple H at SLAM! not only for you, not only because he pisses me off a whole lot because he thinks he nose everything, but because I enjoy hurting people that disrespect me and SLAM! will be no different, I will enjoy every single second of my match because of that exact reason, the whole entire match will consist of me beating the hell out of Triple H for as long as I want to because let's face it, Triple H can't do anything about it.

The Undertaker smirks as the scene fades
 

SCENE 3
�Casket�

 Final scene opens up in what seems to be some sort of funeral home. The Undertaker slowly walks into the room which is filled with coffins for sale and tombstones on sale as well, The Undertaker walks in past the coffins and tombstones and makes his way to the counter. He rings the bell and a moment later an old pallbearer steps out from the back.

'Old Pallbearer' Charlie' How can I help you?

'U N D E R T A K E R' Yeah, I need a coffin and a tombstone made.

'Old Pallbearer' Charlie' Sure, which coffin would you like?

'U N D E R T A K E R' Which is the cheapest?

'Old Pallbearer' Charlie' That one in the corner

'U N D E R T A K E R' Fine, I will take it.

'Old Pallbearer' Charlie' And for the tombstone. What date did they pass into God's eternal light above?

'U N D E R T A K E R' What the hell have you been smoking? TALK ENGLISH!

'Old Pallbearer' Charlie' What date did they die?

'U N D E R T A K E R' June 4, 2007.

'Old Pallbearer' Charlie' Okay....HOLD ON A SECOND! June 4 hasn't been yet, that is in a few days?

'U N D E R T A K E R' Your point being?

'Old Pallbearer' Charlie' Well you can not buy a coffin and tombstone for someone who you are planning to murder! I should ring the police and have you arrested for conspiracy to commit murder!

'U N D E R T A K E R' Dude, the guy is Triple H

'Old Pallbearer' Charlie' Oh.....I will give you the tombstone and coffin for free then. I hate that big nosed guy

'U N D E R T A K E R' Yeah, I agree, this guy has gotten under my skin a lot recently, but I am going to get a whole lot of payback on Retribution when I kick his punk ass

'Old Pallbearer' Charlie' Good, I hate him, his big nose annoys me

'U N D E R T A K E R' Yeah, I totally agree. You should come and watch SLAM! this week because that's when I take on Triple H!

'Old Pallbearer' Charlie' I hope you beat the crap out of him, I know I am supposed to cherish all God's creatures and stuff, but Triple H pisses me off a lot

'U N D E R T A K E R' I know

'Old Pallbearer' Charlie' What an ass.

'U N D E R T A K E R' Yeah he is. No debating that statement. He thinks he is the best in the Real Action Wrestling but he is nothing, the only time he can match it with me is when he hits me from behind with a sledgehammer!

'Old Pallbearer' Charlie' Good, I hope you beat the crap out of Triple H. I will be cheering for you all the way Taker

'U N D E R T A K E R' Yeah I know, everyone seems to be cheering for me against Triple H

'Old Pallbearer' Charlie' Good for you. Well where do you want the coffin and tombstone delivered?

'U N D E R T A K E R' You know the arena just down the road?

'Old Pallbearer' Charlie' In matter of fact I do.

'U N D E R T A K E R' There.

'Old Pallbearer' Charlie' Okay sir. Would you like it for free? Since I don't like Triple H.

'U N D E R T A K E R' Yeah, sure thing man. But actually.......instead of coffins, I will just take some big cardboard boxes because there is no way some snobbish Connecticut punk deserves more than that

'Old Pallbearer' Charlie' I agree totally. Well the cardboard boxes will be delivered to the arena down the road on June4

'U N D E R T A K E R' Thanks.

'Old Pallbearer' Charlie' No Problem