Arena Event Music Director Has A.D.D.

-SACRAMENTO-

Arco Arena Music Director George Lloyd received crushing--although not entirely surprising--news today from his doctor.

The 27-year-old employee, who selects tracks to be played during Sacramento King's basketball games, was diagnosed as having Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD).

Lloyd was first suspected of having ADD by the team trainer staff several weeks ago.

Assistant trainer Joseph Martz suggested that Lloyd see a specialist after watching his peculiar behavior.

"I usually hang with Lloyd in the press box as he is selecting his tracks during pre-game before the crowd enters. Colin (Head trainer Colin Japheth) usually has things under wraps on the floor. Anyhow, Lloyd was queueing up songs. I was having a conversation with him, while tossing a basketball from one hand to another. He kept on staring at the ball, unable to concentrate on our conversation. He can work and talk, or look at me and talk, but not with the ball around."

Lloyd later went for an evaluation at Robinson Memorial Hospital. While awaiting the doctor's prognosis he drew a series of small, concentric circles upon a doctor's prescription pad that lay nearby.

Neurological specialist Eric Ferraro broke the bad news to Lloyd, who took it in stride. Commenting about the condition and breaking doctor/client privilege, Ferraro stated, "The tell-tale signs are there. In addition to the incessant finger-tapping, the man has a job that involves playing fifteen second clips of famous songs and then turning them off before the crowd can fully get into the music. It only feeds his complex when he can turn off 'Angel Is A Centerfold' or 'Start Me Up' after the opening riffs."

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Pepsi Drops Hispanic-Oriented Beverage

-PURCHASE NY-

A public turmoil over the release of an ethnically controversial product has caused Pepsi to halt production of its newest beverage, Pep-S�.

Pepsi spokesman David Deerfield announced the end of Pep-S� in a news conference at Pepsi World Headquarters. He commented, "Although consumer taste testing showed the world was ready for Pep-S�, political protest has caused us to recall the product and rethink our options."

Anxious to overtake Coca-Cola sales after its introduction of Pepsi Vanilla, beverage creators were quickly commissioned to create another flavored soft drink.

After consulting results from the United States Census Department, Pepsi representatives decided to market to the growing Hispanic population, which exceeded that of African-Americans according to the 2000 Census.

Pep-S� was thus created, blending the traditional Pepsi formula with flavoring from the churro, a traditional Hispanic pastry flavored with cinnamon. Other potential flavors included flan and fried ice cream, but they were discarded when can design showed the churro's tubular image fit into the Pepsi "P's" quite effectively.

After testing, the product was regionally distributed for purchase in New York, only to receive scorn from Hispanic populations.

Raquel Cornudas, a spokesperson for Hispanic-American Political Advocacy, said, "The Hispanic community should be glad this product has been kept from stereotyping our race. Although the churro-flavored beverage is by no means derogatory, the can's picture of a sombrero-wearing gaucho with a large moustache and cheesy smile are."