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Co E, 1st Battalion 111th Infantry Regiment | 
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Letter to the TAG
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Letter to
the TAG To: MG McKay Subject:
Thank You Dear Sir: Good news! You remember that expensive new camera you
thought you had lost during our little road march at AT?
Well, it turned up. It was
still in the track, wedged down underneath the floor plates. How it managed to get there I have no idea. The men of the platoon wanted me
to tell you how much they enjoyed having you along for the ride at AT. It was a fairly typical road march for us. Thank goodness.
You can imagine how nervous some of the men get the first time the
commanding general decides to take a spin with them.
You just never know when something might go wrong. Oh, about the camera. As soon as I piece it back together again,
I’ll rinse it out real well to get rid of all the sand and pine needles. Then I’ll send it off posthaste, because
I’m sure you are anxious to see what kind of pictures it takes. I don’t know much about photography but I
suspect that some of the pictures may have been damaged, because the film was sort of all
lumped together and I probably scratched it quite a bit when I dug it out of the camera
with a cleaning rod. Please let us know if any of the pictures turned out, particularly
the one of SGT Washington TC ing the track. You did hear we recovered the
track didn’t you? It took a bit of work
winching it out of the ravine but seemed no worse for wear.
Aside from a few large dents, some missing road wheels, broken antennae,
crushed lights, wedged hatches, and a need for a new engine, it was just fine. Yessiree, those old APCs can take a licking and
keep on ticking. The only other thing we lost was
CPL King. He was last seen being catapulted
out the cargo hatch as we went over the edge with PVT Moreno clinging to his legs. Moreno, I am happy to say turned up shortly after,
although it took us a while to get him out of the tree he was in. Don’t worry about CPL King though sir. He is an old hand at surviving in the woods and I
am sure he will find his way back to Pennsylvania in the near future. You remember the seat belt you
and I had that friendly little tug-of-war over just prior to flipping? Well it turned up too. PFC Bean is hanging onto it as a memento of
the occasion, although the doctors say he really should have it removed before it causes
any permanent injuries. Even though you are probably
aware of this, I should explain that I was not trying to wrest the seatbelt from you, and
I am sorry if I gave you that impression. I
was merely attempting to assist you in putting it on.
I tried to tell you this at the time, but the roar of the engine and CPL
Watson’s screaming, “We’re all gonna die!
We’re all gonna die!” probably drowned out my voice, or maybe even
caused you to think that I had actually shouted something like “Give me that you
--!” Think about it. Would a loyal officer shout something like that
at his commanding general, particularly after he had just been promised a promotion? Sure, the promotion had directly involved
the seatbelt, although that certainly had nothing to do with me assisting you in putting
it on. (By the way, the promotion has
not come through yet. Would you mention this
to the S1? ) Don’t be too hard on LT
Cooper. I realize that the little mishap was
totally his fault, but keep in mind that he has done a great deal of fine work in the
National Guard over the years. Still, after
all the time he and I have kicked around together, he should have realized that I
don’t know a thing about how to navigate cross country in black-out drive and that my
instructions to “Go Evil Kineval” were merely an attempt to introduce a little
comic relief into the situation. Also, I
thought it might take your mind off of the pain caused by slamming the troop door on your
fingers. And I guess it did that all right!
Ha ha! Did I mention that LT
Cooper said it was all clear when I slammed the hatch shut?
I don’t think it was deliberate and would not want you to think ill of
him for it. Anyway, once again, on
behalf of the men of Alpha Company, I would like to than you again for joining us on our
little trip. Everyone said to send you their
regards (except for SSG Sirano, but I am sure he will send them just as soon as he comes
out of the coma) and we all look forward to seeing you again in the near future. Any chance you can make it to FIG in
July to take part in a live-fire with us? If
so, you know how to get a hold of us. Best Regards LT Johnson (Our thanks to Pat McManis of Outdoor Life magazine for the inspiration for this bit of humor)
Be prepared to conduct training in the Engagement Skill Trainer as a precurser to Individual Weapons Qualification. Emphasis will be on zeroing and engaging targets with the M16A2. Obviously, those personnel deploying to Germany will not be in attendance at this year's Associator Stakes.
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