caffinatedangel: ish sawena!
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Ah, it is me
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Watch ya up to?
caffinatedangel: not much
caffinatedangel: dealing with the slobbering fools
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Poor you
caffinatedangel: he does stuff JUST to see if Im paying attention i think. But I have sisters, I know how to ignore. lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Why...?
caffinatedangel: He like, was moaning. but fake? obviously. But It just irritated me. Its like they make fun of me. Im really really scared that.. my temper is going to tip finally
caffinatedangel: and I know its not healthy, i should probably say something. but .. You shouldnt have to, you know?
caffinatedangel: but when my temper DOES flair. all hell breaks lose. and I dont like drama, really.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Exactly. Maybe he's trying to give you hints to leave..
caffinatedangel: and she stole my chair today!!!
caffinatedangel: ive had the same chair since I got here, and I got use to it. you know?
caffinatedangel: and today I come back from class and sit down, and the chair is shorter. and different. and it really pissed me off
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Steal it back
caffinatedangel: so I just switched them back. lol
caffinatedangel: I already did.
caffinatedangel: But it annoyed the poo out of me. I mean, she CHOSE where she was going to stay, first dibs, you know?
caffinatedangel: She got the window, the desk in the good place, and all that jazz. At least give me my chair. biznatch
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Yeah
caffinatedangel: i want to like her, but why steal my chair?
caffinatedangel: Thats just.. rude.
caffinatedangel: its like.. acting as if Im not an equal. Like. Give brita the crappy chair, she deserves it.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Maybe she was just borrowing it and forgot to give it back
caffinatedangel: >.<
caffinatedangel: like hell
caffinatedangel: We have cushions on our chairs, you know? she switched them
caffinatedangel: and yeah. I dont think so.
caffinatedangel: shes always complaining that her chair is wobbly
caffinatedangel: Get a fucking screwdriver, bitch. >.<
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lol
caffinatedangel: and she stopped taking her trash out! She had leftover chinese food.
caffinatedangel: sitting there. by MY dresser, that was .. nasty
caffinatedangel: stinking up my clothes >.<
caffinatedangel: So i took it out.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Why? You shoulda set on her bed
caffinatedangel: Because Im nice
caffinatedangel: and she would of just put it back.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: /:) Oh
caffinatedangel: i mean, my dresser is by the door. so I understand the trash being there.
caffinatedangel: but come on. just fucking take it out.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: If she can play that game, so can you
caffinatedangel: I understand a bag, maybe two occasionaly. I do that.
caffinatedangel: but she has like, 5 bags. 6 maybe. 5 now. lol
caffinatedangel: there he goes again, making noises
caffinatedangel: Im sick of it. I really am
caffinatedangel: they must think Im deaf.
caffinatedangel: or oblivious.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Blare the tv
caffinatedangel: But I just like to ignore people
caffinatedangel: they have control over it
caffinatedangel: I dont play games though
caffinatedangel: I break the cycle. I just ignore the fuckers
caffinatedangel: but I .. hope i dont explode one day, you know?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Then say "You two are obvious busy. Mind if I watch..."
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I don't see how you've kept it this far
caffinatedangel: cause of my sisters. lol
caffinatedangel: Ooh
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I have a sister too!
caffinatedangel: this guy wants to come visit me. Not curt, but some other dude.
caffinatedangel: his name is.. um.. *shrugs*
caffinatedangel: I know him from DA, and he lives 20 minutes away
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Oh lord. Some nameless guy wants to come and see you
caffinatedangel: but we never.. realized that.
caffinatedangel: Grimorial
caffinatedangel: but I dont know his real name. lmao
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: What?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Ooh
caffinatedangel: Mitchell!
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Oh yes, Mitchell!
caffinatedangel: he was in a few poetry groups with me years ago
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Why do all these ppl know you from years ago? And they all wanna come and meet Brita.
caffinatedangel: I dunno
caffinatedangel: well, he lives nearby, and thought it would be cool
caffinatedangel: I cant argue
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I bet Steven would camp on your doorstep if you told him where you lived
caffinatedangel: just wait till I show you a picture of him
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Ok. Well hm. I see your avarter makeing grotest faces...
caffinatedangel: ok, i changed it
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: And Travis still has not said hi. Hm. Maybe he got a hint
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: And I see a...
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: white square
caffinatedangel: >.<
caffinatedangel: well its there.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Hm
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Well, no its not
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: *looks for her wand*
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Oh wait, I don't have one. Whoops my bad
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: well, he looks kind of like dustin parsons
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Ooh
caffinatedangel: mrew
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I saw buddy today..
caffinatedangel: oh?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: He was his usual self >.< He was passing my house as I was coming out to go to work and I walked with him. (He lives by the light at Jamestwon - Waynseville)
caffinatedangel: oh, cool
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Though he said he was going to come into Jordans and see me, and he never did
caffinatedangel: oh, maybe he lost the nerve ^.^
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: More like, maybe he went four wheeling in the snow
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Hey I'll brb
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: k
caffinatedangel: woo
caffinatedangel: I made a sandwhich
caffinatedangel: Two slices of bread. and a hell of a lot of extra crunch peanut butter
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lol. I made me a bowl of cereal
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Chocolate Lucky Charms
caffinatedangel: ew
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: It is...ok. But I prefer the other kind better. But hell this was 199 vs 419
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: You get what you pay for ^.^
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Sometimes
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Man, my jeans are soaked
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I hate walking in two feet of snow!
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I think Travis hates me
caffinatedangel: lmao
caffinatedangel: >.<
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: WOO!
caffinatedangel: He talked to me today O.o
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: oh?
caffinatedangel: *twitches* yeah
caffinatedangel: asked.. how I was. and then some dumb question for.. a game?
caffinatedangel: unno, it was like a history question. He just laughed at my answers, so screw him. lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: If he makes games, wouldn't he know how to play them?
caffinatedangel: well no
caffinatedangel: this.. was a password to get into a site
caffinatedangel: And he didnt know it. Something about.. king arthor, an oracle, (which was spelled wrong) and.. unno. something about being tied..
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lmao
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Omg! Travis is so freaking cool! Look at this!
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: salinabug@sbcglobal.net: hi
Travis 's status is now "Available". (1/20/2005 10:03 PM)

Travis : Hello.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: How are ya?
Travis : I'm fine.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Thats cool
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: *throws up*
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: wanna hug?
caffinatedangel: I have a bag of them ^.^
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: a bag of hugs?
caffinatedangel: yes
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: uh, sure >.<
caffinatedangel: Herseys
caffinatedangel: white chocolate ^.^
caffinatedangel: num
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: The king of chocloate
caffinatedangel: i probably shouldnt tell you this..
caffinatedangel: but when I was little, my dad would joke with us, and say the BEST game for a little kid...
caffinatedangel: is to give them a ball of wadded up foil. and tell them to unwad it without ripping it
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I do that anyways!
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: I do too
caffinatedangel: i love unwrapping kisses/hugs
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Me too
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: And butter, cuz those are easy
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: annnnd
caffinatedangel: theyre in the shower
caffinatedangel: >.<
caffinatedangel: *sighs* better than out here, I guess
caffinatedangel: Except. they took a shower together at 7
caffinatedangel: *rolls her eyes*
caffinatedangel: But I dont think they take it TOGETHER
caffinatedangel: I think.. mike just watches
caffinatedangel: and thats even scarier
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Why would he just watch?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Thats gay.
caffinatedangel: yeah
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Is it the only time he gets to see her naked or something?
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: i think he's into voyeur
caffinatedangel: or.. however its spelled
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: And your shower has the crumbly stuff. So..you can't see whats inside
caffinatedangel: open the door?
caffinatedangel: I dont know
caffinatedangel: but he comes back dray
caffinatedangel: dry*
caffinatedangel: that's all I know..
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Ugh,
caffinatedangel: I gotta admit, the shower idea is appealing
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: *nods*
caffinatedangel: If I had a guy, it would be a serious consideration
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I've always wanted to shower with David
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Muahauaua
caffinatedangel: I think curt is.. upset?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: why?
caffinatedangel: I dunno why, for sure
caffinatedangel: maybe he's jsut stressed
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: over?
caffinatedangel: School, I guess
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: us? lol
caffinatedangel: and he has slobbering fools that live with him too
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: oooh. I ain't not living on campus at a college unless you are my roomate!
caffinatedangel: but the difference is, he's friends with the guy. lol
caffinatedangel: He doesnt live at college, he has an apartment with his friend, Kevin
caffinatedangel: but kevin has a gf, Vickey. and they suck face all the time
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Whatever
caffinatedangel: If you ever have internet time, you should go here: http://www.wearecareful.com/~bandaro/movies.swf
caffinatedangel: and see... *finds which one it is*
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: hurry up!
caffinatedangel: the dark sword curse
caffinatedangel: part 3
caffinatedangel: Theyre all good, but part 3 takes the cake. and 4.. but.. yeah. lol
caffinatedangel: wait, thats not it!
caffinatedangel: *cries*
caffinatedangel: good, again. but theres one that.. arg. rocks
caffinatedangel: its the first one!!!
caffinatedangel: its priceless
caffinatedangel: Mike is freaked out now
caffinatedangel: I laughed
caffinatedangel: the fluffypup part is priceless
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I m watching the third..
caffinatedangel: well it's good too. Id say watch them all ^.^
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: It just keeps repeating itse;f
caffinatedangel: yeah, push back on your browser
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Well I'm outta time now.
caffinatedangel: you could actually skip 2 and not miss anything
caffinatedangel: >.<
caffinatedangel: *cries*
caffinatedangel: Well, watch it later or.. something
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: i wills
caffinatedangel: I just.. love the first one. I cant watch it without laughing
caffinatedangel: and I mean not just sniker
caffinatedangel: I like, roll
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I'll watch it tomorrow
caffinatedangel: lol, ok
caffinatedangel: I love his stuff. Well, not all of it. but yeah
caffinatedangel: basically.. the reason he turns all evil and stuff in the third one
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Just by the one I can tell he's really good
caffinatedangel: is because kevin and vicky are always making out around him
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Why can't they move to another room? I mean is there apt one big rooom?
caffinatedangel: Eh, they can
caffinatedangel: but you can still hear them
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: *barfa*
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Terry has this thing where you like two ppl, but, normally you lust one and love the other and thats why its always hard if you have to choose, but if you don't hafta choose, its hard to turn down the lust one
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: And I think thats intresting
caffinatedangel: True though
caffinatedangel: Thats how I am with curt and aaron
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: TIs is why I told you
caffinatedangel: I was talking with curt last night, and we came up with the analogy of a princess (that was his idea) torn between the Prince, and the Court Jester.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Prince and Court Jester?
caffinatedangel: yep. Aaron is the Prince
caffinatedangel: Curt is the Court Jester.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: :|
caffinatedangel: lol, you dont like it?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: More like I don't get it
caffinatedangel: What dont you get?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Whats a court Jester?
caffinatedangel: lol!
caffinatedangel: that would complicate things
caffinatedangel: You know the.. joker card in the deck?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: yep
caffinatedangel: the hat, the bells, his job is to entertain the royalty
caffinatedangel: thats the court jester
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Ah.
caffinatedangel: Aaron is the quite, royal, regal, sexy, amazing bloodlines prince.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: So..yeah. You and aaron hook up and curt entertains you? Hm. Which way do I take that?
caffinatedangel: and curt is the.. jokester that makes me smile everytime.
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: gotcha. Thats a theory
caffinatedangel: mmhm
caffinatedangel: But it made him think
caffinatedangel: and he wants to make a flash movie thing about it, maybe. lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lol
caffinatedangel: but I thought it would be quite a novel
caffinatedangel: So i may try to write about it. maybe
caffinatedangel: its an interesting idea, i think
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I think it would lose steam in a nove;
caffinatedangel: not if you're creative
caffinatedangel: add in a war
caffinatedangel: some magik
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Which I'm not. So good luck
caffinatedangel: a few fae who like to cause problems
caffinatedangel: maybe the princess is actually adopted? thus not really royal blood
caffinatedangel: but that's hush hush
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: oooo. THATs good
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: I can come up with something, Im sure
caffinatedangel: its a matter of putting it all together. lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Yeah
caffinatedangel: curt said if he wrote it, he would have the prince win the girl
caffinatedangel: and I thought when I wrote it.. i dont know.
caffinatedangel: Maybe Ill add a third completely random character. lmao
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: the princess when the price 
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: >.<
caffinatedangel: but if the princess isn't really royalty, and somehow that gets exposed. she would ahve to marry the prince to keep her title
caffinatedangel: but, if the jester still loves her, it would show he doesnt care in the title.
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: How do you come out with this i'd be luck, uh oh. Well hm. *toss aside*
caffinatedangel: lmao
caffinatedangel: i dunno
caffinatedangel: its what I do.
caffinatedangel: when Im bored, I watch people. and make up stories about them
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lol
caffinatedangel: why theyre hear, how they got here. Their family life
caffinatedangel: Man, yesterday I got an awesome one in my psych class
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: oh?
caffinatedangel: he had two patches on his bookbag, one said "Vegan" another said "friends dont let friends eat meat"
caffinatedangel: and this random chick happened to sit by him, and he was a talkative lil bugger.
caffinatedangel: Bright blue eyes, so full of dreams
caffinatedangel: but yet, easily swayed by the trends
caffinatedangel: but doesnt think he is. He thinks he's hardcore on the edge. breaking societies norms
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: uh huh...
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: but Vegan is so stupid, I think
caffinatedangel: I mean, come on. Cheese isn't BAD.
caffinatedangel: nor milk
caffinatedangel: or eggs
caffinatedangel: I understand being vegetarian. but vegan? come on
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I thought they were the same
caffinatedangel: vegan's dont eat milk, eggs, cheese.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I mean his other patch didn't say anything about eating cheese 
caffinatedangel: yes, but still
caffinatedangel: Vegan is a style of vegatarian. an extreme form of it
caffinatedangel: They dont use ANYTHING that has ANYTHING to do with animals
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: We need to though. I mean come on
caffinatedangel: exactly
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I can see the meat
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Don't kill them. I can eat fruit
caffinatedangel: yeah, meat also isnt the healthiest thing.  And save the animals. All makes sense
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: But milk? Hows that hurting the cow?
caffinatedangel: But milk? I mean.. its not hurting the animals. Cheese is fine. Eggs.. well, eggs is borderline
caffinatedangel: but the eggs arent going to hatch unless fertalized.
caffinatedangel: and they arent
caffinatedangel: soo
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: brb
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: yum...
caffinatedangel: yum?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Banana orange pinapple juice
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Kicks ass
caffinatedangel: i had a weird dream today when I took a nap
caffinatedangel: speaking of fruit, and vegetarians..
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Oh?
caffinatedangel: the dream.. I was with family. Like, a gathering. and my grandma mae was showing me this .. pamphlet? I dont know what it was for sure
caffinatedangel: Im thinking it was some kind of makeup, or had different pages. Like a catelog?
caffinatedangel: but on one page it had scents. Fruits.
caffinatedangel: Like, every fruit Ive ever smelled. It was delicious
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lol
caffinatedangel: and somehow.. it combined with another dream. Like it was at the same time
caffinatedangel: I was talking with my sister, and told her I think I was going to turn vegatarian
caffinatedangel: and like.. the fruit smell, and the no meat. almost brought me to another level. like, escaping my desires I guess. and I saw a tree, with fruit on it. but like, all fruits possible
caffinatedangel: in this field. It was beautiful, and smelled delicious. and was just...  perfect
caffinatedangel: and I woke up. and thought "wow. I gotta try this vegatarian thing" lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: *nods in the "you've lost it" way*
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Thats...special. 
caffinatedangel: i know it sounds weird
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Are you going to become a veg?
caffinatedangel: but it was the best dream Ive ever had
caffinatedangel: I dont know. I think I may try actually
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Thats sad
caffinatedangel: have you ever read about the Tree of Life?
caffinatedangel: No.. wait
caffinatedangel: thats a mormon thing >.<
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I probably could do it if I could eat cheese
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I have thank you
caffinatedangel: muahahaha
caffinatedangel: well, have you ever seen artwork depicting the tree of life?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Nooo
caffinatedangel: man
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I don't think
caffinatedangel: Well, it was like that
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: You changed your acarter
caffinatedangel: I changed it back, yes
caffinatedangel: but the dream, the tree. I saw it at the very end. and it was perfect. Holy almost
caffinatedangel: like.. sanity, safeness, protection, righteousness, it was heaven. I mean. not really heaven. but it was.. lovely
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: So, morman againa nd a veg?
caffinatedangel: lol, no. i wont be mormon again. But Ive never lost their views
caffinatedangel: but I think Im just going to ease up off of meat
caffinatedangel: i mean, its hard not to eat meat here in ohio. lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Dude something is beeping. What is it!?
caffinatedangel: Curt lives in chicago. There are places that sell eggplant sandwhiches O.o
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: AH
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Moms cell?
caffinatedangel: lol, weirdo
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: It is
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I'm weird? Terry just signed on:
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: salinabug@sbcglobal.net: boo
Terry : I love you
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: O.o
caffinatedangel: hmm
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: "You were the first, so was I...made love like a storm. Remember when?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: "
caffinatedangel: interesting
caffinatedangel: mike is... reading everyone on loris buddy list
caffinatedangel: asking "whos... blahblah"
caffinatedangel: and she has to tell him. and hes deleting the guys..O.o
caffinatedangel: now. call me crazy
caffinatedangel: but.. arg
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Kill him
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: And why does she let him?
caffinatedangel: I have no idea
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Dude I'd kill them
caffinatedangel: He asks "can I delete him" and she goes "I dont care"
caffinatedangel: or "whatever you want mike"
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: *pukes*
caffinatedangel: oh god!
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I'd be like they are on my list for a reason ass hole. So no.
caffinatedangel: hes like.. making her say yes or no
caffinatedangel: and they went at it for a few mintues "Yes or no, can I delete him"
caffinatedangel: her "I dont care"
caffinatedangel: he asks again
caffinatedangel: she doesnt answer
caffinatedangel: then.. "Lori!"
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Oh lord
caffinatedangel: and wow
caffinatedangel: she just lets him walk all over her
caffinatedangel: I almost spun around and told him "cause she doesnt fucking care"
caffinatedangel: but.. I bit my tongue. its her problem. not mine
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Does she even see it as a problem?
caffinatedangel: I dunno
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Man, you usually always win. Whats up?
caffinatedangel: Im distracted
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I'm sorry I'm so sexy...
caffinatedangel: you know, curt is convinced that mike loves me
caffinatedangel: *dies laughing* it was .. entertaining
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: /:)
caffinatedangel: cause hes always harassing me
caffinatedangel: but in that.. flirtatious way
caffinatedangel: and it creeps me out, to be honest.
caffinatedangel: sometimes randomly comes over and reads what im doing, or asks me twenty questions about things
caffinatedangel: normally i give him shithead answers, but .. yeah
caffinatedangel: and then its like he pounces on lori right after it
caffinatedangel: and its.. odd
caffinatedangel: he creeps me out a little. lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Lusts lori, loves you >.<
caffinatedangel: yeah, sure.
caffinatedangel: whatever. lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lmao
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: heres a thought you might like:
salinabug@sbcglobal.net:   While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to 
release some pent-up energy and ran amok I was finally able to grab hold 
of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other 
patrons.  I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would 
be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice 
just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell 
Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence 
was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped 
what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked 
out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the 
door closed behind me were screams of laughter
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: Man, who lets their kid see though? Thats even worse
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I know@
caffinatedangel: thats some horrible parenting right there.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Unless the kid snuck in
caffinatedangel: still
caffinatedangel: You should be sure
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Opened the door when parents thoguth she was alspeep
caffinatedangel: plus, I intend on having a lock on my door
caffinatedangel: lock it when we start, unlock it afterwards
caffinatedangel: if I have kids, that is
caffinatedangel: hell, that could turn symbolli
caffinatedangel: symbollic*
caffinatedangel: or.. whatever
caffinatedangel: Imagine: youre in your room just talking, being dumb, wahtever. and you arent paying attention, but you hear the doors lock click shut
caffinatedangel: the lock click in place..
caffinatedangel: mm. that would turn into a delightful click. lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lol
caffinatedangel: curt isnt idle anymore. :(
caffinatedangel: but away. maybe hes busy.
caffinatedangel: bleh
caffinatedangel: im probably becoming obsessive, and scary
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I think you are
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: thanks
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Sure. Its what I am herer for
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: i just got those looks again
caffinatedangel: man
caffinatedangel: like.. im from another planet
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: You are
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: HOw d'you think we met?
caffinatedangel: Uuuh
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Do I read "High School" in your mind?
caffinatedangel: yes?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: AH! You freak! High School is a form of discrimination! We do not even belong there!
caffinatedangel: oh. lol
caffinatedangel: I didnt know.. that.. I dunno. nevermind. lmao
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Such a disgrace
caffinatedangel: sorry master
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: *looks for her crop*
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: its probably with your wand..
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Oh! It is! 
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Hm. I have to draw from the BONE yard. *does so catiously*
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: be careful
caffinatedangel: :))
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Yes dear
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: 45 to 5?
caffinatedangel: 15, thank you
caffinatedangel: lmao
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I told terry about me kissing buddy
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: And he says...
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Terry : Your subsconscience is horny
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Why WHY do I tralk to men?
caffinatedangel: I dunno
caffinatedangel: How, HOW do you tralk!
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Its ealy
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: *easy
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Just be me for a day and ou'll understand perfetly
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: ok, i do need to go for aaron
caffinatedangel: cause I cant deal with curt. lmao
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: why?
caffinatedangel: He was talking to me. and now has an away message up, is playing mario party 6
caffinatedangel: o.o
caffinatedangel: random?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lol
caffinatedangel: man.. I DO suck
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I know
caffinatedangel: im not paying a bit of attention. lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Terry : Your subsconscience is horny
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: So in other words get laid so I can be me again?
Terry : Sure
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Ok but...
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I don't wanna get laid
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I have trust uissues
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: And yeah
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: And becuase I kissed buddy, does that mean to sleep with him?
Terry : no
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Then who?
Terry : me
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Lord oh lord. Save me
caffinatedangel: lmao
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: salinabug@sbcglobal.net: And I see you ever so often...
Terry : But just think of that next time
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: in 10 yrs?
Terry : But just think of it
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Ok. So you'll be carring around Terry Lee the 3rd...and I'll still be thinking of when I kissed buddy..
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Terry : Sounds good to me
caffinatedangel: what on earth
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: *Shalkes head*
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: What on earth what?
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: I dunno. thats just weird
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: What is?
caffinatedangel: that whole conversation. lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: No. It just got better
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Terry : Marry me
caffinatedangel: :-O
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I know!
caffinatedangel: =))
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Thanks for your support
caffinatedangel: sorry, lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I said I was only 19
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: My god
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: My god he's serious...
caffinatedangel: wow
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: *bashes head*
caffinatedangel: you.. wow
caffinatedangel: tell him youre with me.. ? lmao
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Terry : I'm seriously in love with you
caffinatedangel: how about, you two get back together before you get married
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lmoa
caffinatedangel: just my opinion
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: How about...I fall in love first?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: My dominoes are too small..
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: *squints*
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Oh god....
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Brita, your my girlfriend again
caffinatedangel: lmao
caffinatedangel: ^.^
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Ok..whew. I changed the subject and your not my girlfriend..yet
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lol
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Terry : Good. Then. What are you up too tomorrow
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Nothin
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: and you?
Terry : WOrkin
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: He's...odd
caffinatedangel: O.o
caffinatedangel: yeah
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: How do I add time stamps?
caffinatedangel: huh?
caffinatedangel: Oh, I dunno. I only know how to on aim
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: f2 
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I last heard from travis at 1026
caffinatedangel: for
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Travis (10:26:28 PM): Sorry,  then i can't help... you need to get a program to do it.  
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I tried to make a convo. Then gave up again
caffinatedangel: oh
caffinatedangel: Im upset.. O.o I dont get why
caffinatedangel: Like.. I dunno. I turn into a child everytime I like someone
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Don't we all?
caffinatedangel: curt is playing a game or something. and that upsets me
caffinatedangel: but what do I expect? our friendship is based on the fact that we can let the other do work, or goof around without harassing them
caffinatedangel: yet im.. jealous?
caffinatedangel: Yes. Im jealous
caffinatedangel: I'm Jealous! O.o
caffinatedangel: *slits throat*
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Becuase now you look at curt in a different way than friendship. Your FRIENDSHIP is based on you two being able to do your own thing. But the relationship is there, but isn't...so you're feeling jelous he's away
caffinatedangel: i dont like it
caffinatedangel: I want to be able to not care
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: To bad
caffinatedangel: How do people do that?
caffinatedangel: Or does anyone do that?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: They can't. They just..try
caffinatedangel: hrm
caffinatedangel: Curt told me he loved me.
caffinatedangel: :">
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: oh?
caffinatedangel: last night? i think. or the night before. sometime.
caffinatedangel: yeah.. I mean, not just like one line "i love you"
caffinatedangel: But he.. said something about He loves me, and that's all there is to it. Despite how I feel towards him.
caffinatedangel: because I said that this whole thing was complicating, and love is complicating. enough to stress me out to no end. and he said it was the simplist thing he knows.
caffinatedangel: "I love you, and thats all there is to it."
caffinatedangel: how perfect is that?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: So...are you dating him now?
caffinatedangel: no..
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Becuase you like aaron? 
caffinatedangel: yes
caffinatedangel: I love aaron
caffinatedangel: and curt?
caffinatedangel: no.. I love curt
caffinatedangel: and lust for aaron
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: ;)
caffinatedangel: but that lust for aaron could turn into love. just hasnt had a chance to yet
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: So, are you willing to wait?
caffinatedangel: I cant wait forever.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: No..but you can't give up either
caffinatedangel: hes just.. theres nothing there anymore. I dont see aaron much. and when I do he doesnt seem to.. care?
caffinatedangel: I dont know what to think. Its like we can never develop a realtionship
caffinatedangel: but yet I always run into him! lol
caffinatedangel: Its like.. when I least expect aaron, he's right there. and im too .. floored to say or do anything
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: You don't see him much but you always run into him
caffinatedangel: I just stare at a piece of artwork
caffinatedangel: I dont see him enough.
caffinatedangel: ^.^
caffinatedangel: to develop a relationship. and.. I dunno
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Maybe becuase your to floored to say anything, he thinks you don't like him anymore
caffinatedangel: It sucks, in any case.
caffinatedangel: wendsday in class, both Jen and Joel skipped it
caffinatedangel: and I.. was sitting there thinking "If I see aaron, and ask him to sit with me again. I can actually talk with him!"
caffinatedangel: But I didnt see him. and I was soo.. so .. so depressed
caffinatedangel: but then leaving class, there are two ways out. One way is straight out the doors. the other, you go down the steps, then outside the class, then back up the steps. and thats the way I take, cause there's less people
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: :(
caffinatedangel: and I was zipping up my coat, and nearly ran right into aaron!
caffinatedangel: and My tongue went numb and wow
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Damn,,
caffinatedangel: I mean. I just.. what are the chances?
caffinatedangel: It was odd. But .. I wante to see him IN CLASS
caffinatedangel: but yet, I couldn't say a casual "Hey aaron"
caffinatedangel: I just.. cant
caffinatedangel: whats.. wrong
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: You fell to hard
caffinatedangel: its so stupid.b ecause we could even walk back to the dorms together. but we dont
caffinatedangel: its.. *sighs*
caffinatedangel: it is so so so stupid, and childish
caffinatedangel: and I just want to kiss him and stop it
caffinatedangel: but i dont know if he's.. interested. He wasnt before.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Thats before. This is now
caffinatedangel: i know
caffinatedangel: but.. how much has changed?
caffinatedangel: Couldnt he just tell me?
caffinatedangel: and does he think Im ignoring him? We no longer have our hallway meetings, lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: ...a lot? You had all break
caffinatedangel: yeah, but.. *sighs*
caffinatedangel: I want him to be over his last girl, and .. be with me ^.^
caffinatedangel: Im so selfish though
caffinatedangel: and you saw him
caffinatedangel: he's not like.. drop dead gorgeous in the typical sense
caffinatedangel: theres just.. something.. something.. there
caffinatedangel: everyone I ask ends up saying the blossoming friendship is better
caffinatedangel: but what about instant romance that becomes everlasting friendship?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Except me
caffinatedangel: you eventually changed your answer though
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: True. 
caffinatedangel: The flaw with the analogy curt and I had, is that Aaron is no prince
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: He is to you
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Isn't that all that matters?
caffinatedangel: his family is poor, he doesnt really know what major he's doing. He's only at college with help from government money. he isnt handsome, but just dead sexy to me.
caffinatedangel: Hes like, the street rat. and I love him. but have no idea why
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Becuase he's so different?
caffinatedangel: everyday going to classes, I glance at his window. he is.
caffinatedangel: but. isnt. I dont know
caffinatedangel: he's normal. he seems sane. he.. is athletic. average.
caffinatedangel: so average it just makes me tingle. lmao
caffinatedangel: to be with someone spectacular means I have to compete.
caffinatedangel: to be with someone average.. I can just be me
caffinatedangel: if I could just learn to say hello, i think Id be ok
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lol. Quit trying to find WHY you love him. ANd quit stressing it. A=nd quit trying to figure him out and quit harassing yourself. and you'll be fine
caffinatedangel: what if I never get him?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Then what will you lose?
caffinatedangel: a chance
caffinatedangel: I have to admit, Im a sucker for true love
caffinatedangel: destiny, to draw you to one person
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: A chance. Do you know how many chances will fly by you in your lifetime?
caffinatedangel: thats.. the ultimate romance, I think.
caffinatedangel: i try to deny it but.. aaron is proof. I dont like aaron just because its a cool fantasy
caffinatedangel: I MAKE myself forget about him, but once I see him everything I thought is lost
caffinatedangel: and I feel relaxed. but in awe.
caffinatedangel: he does soemthing to me >.<
caffinatedangel: you remember this:
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Maybe its the same with him?
caffinatedangel: i finally found my match.
The whirlwind of imperfection
matching in sync with what I do.
Where I go, his footsteps lay
And as I turn around, I see his face.
Again.
again..
Like a haunting. But a dream
a good dream. My night mare.
My beloved mare. Come to me again
and again.
again
Youre like my favorite chocolate
with the sweetness of angels
yet the touch of metallic love
like the taint of demons
Oh hell how I lose myself in your eyes again
and again
again.

Do you follow me wherever I go?
Or do the gods, forces, spirits or whatever
Want you to sit behind me in class?
Oh like a sacred breeze I only freeze
and breathe as I try to remember my name again
and again
again

caffinatedangel: I dont think it is. who knows.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I do remember that
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: And I also remember you saying he wasn't shy like you then Hola, he told he was shy
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: i wish I could find a way to force myself to go up to him
caffinatedangel: I want to win him.
caffinatedangel: A prize. man. that would be the ideal prize
caffinatedangel: Watch, Ill get him, and in a few years hate him or something >.<
caffinatedangel: And youll point
caffinatedangel: and laugh
caffinatedangel: have you read sideways?
caffinatedangel: I wrote it, but.. its newer. kind of about aaron. someone had a picture that reminded me of the emotion
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I don't think so
caffinatedangel: "One Small Sideway Glance
and I feel so..."

One small sideways glance
down the alley to your house
and I freeze there wondering that question
What if?

One small sideways glance
from the corner of your eye as I walked by
proved to me something
something.

That small little glance
when someone doesnt want to know they watch
but are so obvious in how much they adore

The way you DON'T move,
the way you ignore me
the way you sit there
staring
at the wall?

It's the way you don't look,
until you do that small
sideways
glance.

Playing this game of cards
sideways
Just like you play at life.
glancing sideways.

You'll never get me doing this
But you'll keep me if you keep this up
keep giving me those
sideways
upside down feeling inside
caffinatedangel: as your eyes meet just a moment
Long enough
to know you're true
Short enough,
to question truth.

One small sideways glance
and Im on the carpet, looking up
wondering why you floored me,
if you did.
Wondering if you glanced,
I swear you did.

One small sideways glance
and I feel so...
lost.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Wow...I like that.
caffinatedangel: Its.. perfect for how he makes me feel
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: So many emotions in that..
caffinatedangel: I love this (i never love my works. lol)
caffinatedangel: "Long enough
to know you're true
Short enough,
to question truth."
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Yep
caffinatedangel: damn him! lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Brita I have an idea:
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Forget and become lesbian
caffinatedangel: lmao
caffinatedangel: I couldnt ever forget him, even if I wanted to
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I can see why...
caffinatedangel: some nights, I lay in bed and just stare
caffinatedangel: wishing I could.. stop this game, or know for ure
caffinatedangel: sure*
caffinatedangel: or something
caffinatedangel: I just want to meet him in the hall where we have to squeeze by somehow, and sneak a kiss
caffinatedangel: I want to kiss him, to know
caffinatedangel: To kiss is just.. perfect. Both sides are somehow connected. You can tell if they like it, or not. You can LEARN so much about them
caffinatedangel: and someone just BLECHED in the hallway
caffinatedangel: man. Shatter my romaticism!!!
caffinatedangel: *gets a knife out to go find the belcher*
caffinatedangel: I had dreams once, where I was with a guy. Um.. having a lot of fun in the mud ^.^ It was a very personal dream
caffinatedangel: but I had it while I was dating jesse, and for some reason I pretended it was jesse
caffinatedangel: eeeeven though the guy in the dream was blonde.
caffinatedangel: see, all my weird creepy dreams, the guy is blonde.
caffinatedangel: Ive never dated a blonde kid, I dont think O.o
caffinatedangel: man. I just dont stop
caffinatedangel: *zips mouth shut*
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Is aaron blond?
caffinatedangel: yes
caffinatedangel: and happens to have that "perfect" jaw structure of the guy in my dreams
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: O.o
caffinatedangel: and I want to swear up and down that IT'S AARON!
caffinatedangel: But ive said that before. Put other guys in that place. and it wasnt.
caffinatedangel: But.. man..
caffinatedangel: like.. the one where this guy places his hand on my cheek, and tells me it's time to wake up
caffinatedangel: and I do.
caffinatedangel: O.o Creepy as hell
caffinatedangel: but I.. loved him. Whoever he was. Like I didnt want to get up, because I was with him
caffinatedangel: my night mare.
caffinatedangel: IN the most literal sense. lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: wow
caffinatedangel: the mud one, was wow
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: Basically, we were having sex next to a creek. somewhere? It was raining, summer Im guessing because it was warmish. and we were in the mud.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Maybe you'll get closer to him when you meet in the mud
caffinatedangel: and.. well its detailed and weird to tell others O.o but the guy like, climaxed. and THAT is what I remember. What he looked like, eyes closed. jaw tight. lips
caffinatedangel: oh hell, the lips
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: and Ive never had sex. so the idea of taking past.. thoughts and putting them into place dont quite work
caffinatedangel: Oooh!
caffinatedangel: Lori just left
caffinatedangel: her away message is "working stuff out"
caffinatedangel: I.. wonder. Maybe she and mike will end? *giggles*
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: When did MIke leave?
caffinatedangel: I really wonder if.. it was aaron. but I dont understand how. Just that those dreams I have never forgotten.
caffinatedangel: Oh.. a few hours ago. or.. at 12. lol
caffinatedangel: not that long ago.
caffinatedangel: but lori was chatting online, very.. quickly. Like she was upset. and then she left just a lil bit ago
caffinatedangel: I want her and mike to break up
caffinatedangel: It would be best for her, I think.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: it would be
caffinatedangel: is it mean.. that..
caffinatedangel: I want her and mike to break up
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: no
caffinatedangel: and.. me and aaron to get together..
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: no
caffinatedangel: and.. make out while shes in the room? lmao
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lol. no thats awesome
caffinatedangel: I dont think I would though, not often at least
caffinatedangel: not heavy.
caffinatedangel: cause I couldnt do it
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: i wouldn't be able to either
caffinatedangel: tomorrow in psych we have a test.
caffinatedangel: so I wont be able to.. chat with Aaron, I guess
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: dont sit by him. 
caffinatedangel: why?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: You need your concentration
caffinatedangel: lmao!
caffinatedangel: True....
caffinatedangel: luckily, last quarter when I had soc with him, we were put in different rooms for the test
caffinatedangel: a-n m-z
caffinatedangel: lucky me. lmao
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lol
caffinatedangel: when im away from the dorms, I dont think about aaron a lot
caffinatedangel: I mean, I can actually forget about him. Until someone says aaron. and then bing, Im back
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Hes not there and noothing is there to remind you of him
caffinatedangel: But as odd as it may sound to some, I prefer that
caffinatedangel: I dont think others are that attractive, enough to consider dating that is.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Why's that odd? It makes sence..
caffinatedangel: and.. if I was to be with him, and say... he died? then I wouldnt be hurt.
caffinatedangel: or if he left, or something. Theres no pain from his absence.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: THAT is odd
caffinatedangel: but when I see him again, its right back there. and I love that.
caffinatedangel: yeah, I guess
caffinatedangel: but thats how I think
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: So then be it
caffinatedangel: but then theres curt
caffinatedangel: i say his name and smile
caffinatedangel: Oh hell. Im shutting up >.<
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lmoa
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Its ok
caffinatedangel: when I was little, I had "my boys"
caffinatedangel: notice the plural
caffinatedangel: cant I have plural now? lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: You could...but uh. Be careful that you don't make a slip. Cuz its not like they'd meet...
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: but im so bluntly honest
caffinatedangel: nearly everything I just told you about aaron, Ive told curt
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Another reason I love you >.<
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: I want.. to make out with a cute guy
caffinatedangel: I need that. just for a little
caffinatedangel: Maybe this.. Mitch guy will work
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: oh lord
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I'm kissing ppl and you're making out
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Great
caffinatedangel: lmao
caffinatedangel: people need to kiss!
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I have learned nothing!
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I don't see how do
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: But I learn nothing. Its a freakign kiss! 
caffinatedangel: Oh.. maybe im unique
caffinatedangel: but kissing. Oh god. It tells you SO much about the person
caffinatedangel: i actually.. havent met others who think that so much
caffinatedangel: many people just think its a kiss. O.o
caffinatedangel: huh. lol
caffinatedangel: but I can
caffinatedangel: if they're controlling, if they're passionate. if they've got a grip on life, understand themselves.
caffinatedangel: You can interpret so much
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: And you didn't a clue from Jesse when you fist kissed him?
caffinatedangel: i did..
caffinatedangel: but thought I could overcome it, or change him
caffinatedangel: but.. I couldnt
caffinatedangel: he was a little dim
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: a little?
caffinatedangel: Hell! I got corey rector to kiss well in one sitting
caffinatedangel: he started off like jesse, I stopped him twice, to tell him. and wham
caffinatedangel: I got myself one great lil kisser, IMO.
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Great. Could you kiss me and give me some tips?
caffinatedangel: lol. I dunno
caffinatedangel: But i wonder if some people just aren't compatible, you know?
caffinatedangel: Like.. jesse may do awesome with.. someone.. who kisses like him?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: maybe
caffinatedangel: and changing how he kisses, just ruined  afuture relationship. lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lol
caffinatedangel: but I can tell obvious differences in two types of kissers
caffinatedangel: Ones like Jesse, and ones like Chris
caffinatedangel: now, compare what you know of the two of them. They are.. very different
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: yep
caffinatedangel: Chris kissed.. so controlled
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: controlled?
caffinatedangel: like he could pinpoint exactly where he wanted me to feel lust.
caffinatedangel: Not as in controlling. but.. he himself is controlled. he knows his body, his mind, his soul. He's very.. centered.
caffinatedangel: Our kisses were never slobbery
caffinatedangel: they were.. perfect.
caffinatedangel: we could kiss for hours, and not get bored.
caffinatedangel: but jesse and I.. its like he was randomly jabbing his tongue down my throat. what the hell?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: You know until i met you, I never really thought about the way I kissed. You're making me feel very insecure
caffinatedangel: lol. Dont..
caffinatedangel: I mean. who knows
caffinatedangel: I dont know how I kiss
caffinatedangel: I wonder sometimes too
caffinatedangel: lori is back
caffinatedangel: with mike
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: gr
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: SO much for breaking up
caffinatedangel: lmao
caffinatedangel: My hopes are shattered *gets all dramatic*
caffinatedangel: theyre all huggy
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Maybe she was upset becuase he wanted to be there with her and she said no and so she went there and finally relented and now there all happy
caffinatedangel: *sighs*
caffinatedangel: this sucks
caffinatedangel: theyre going to bed.
caffinatedangel: together
caffinatedangel: not again.
caffinatedangel: not fucking again
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Strike up a convo 
caffinatedangel: lmao
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: >.<
caffinatedangel: they just crawled into bed
caffinatedangel: and are sucking face. ignoring me.
caffinatedangel: lori is crying
caffinatedangel: mike is saying sorry
caffinatedangel: >.<
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: WTH?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Lets make out and say sorry for our deeds?
caffinatedangel: yeah
caffinatedangel: it makes the world better
caffinatedangel: I know something is wrong, but im not sure what
caffinatedangel: I mean, he's an ass. but did she just notice?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lmao
caffinatedangel: graw!
caffinatedangel: You know what?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: what?!
caffinatedangel: I told lori this weekend I wouldnt be here. and that monday I was going to be gone to. Because Im going to a funeral
caffinatedangel: and she said ok. and that friday.. she was going to go get trashed
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: uh huh..
caffinatedangel: It upset me
caffinatedangel: I mean, i .. i wouldnt do that if HER grandma died
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Becuase she doesn't care
caffinatedangel: thats not the time to tell me
caffinatedangel: I know, at least fake it a little
caffinatedangel: or just "Oh, im sorry"
caffinatedangel: or even a nod or.. not "Im getting trashed friday"
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: How;d she say it?
caffinatedangel: Like she didnt care. lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I got that much
caffinatedangel: She said "Ok" in a near solumn tone, then "Friday night Im going out. Im getting trashed" and a dumb grin laugh thing.
caffinatedangel: so.. I dont feel much pity anymor
caffinatedangel: anymore
caffinatedangel: *
caffinatedangel: Maybe im spoiled or something, but.. yeah.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: More like your human?
caffinatedangel: maybe
caffinatedangel: So, i cant help but think, maybe Mike is.. her kharma?
caffinatedangel: coming back, finally.
caffinatedangel: or.. wahtever. lol
caffinatedangel: I think that kind of comment makes my karma bad though. lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Yeah
caffinatedangel: I cant help but think "You deserve that"
caffinatedangel: Stealing my chair
caffinatedangel: leaving stinky garbage
caffinatedangel: talking about getting trashed when I finally decided to tell her about my grandmothers death
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Yeah...
caffinatedangel: We were doing ok
caffinatedangel: I blame her bad behavoir on mike, though
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I think its more like she's comfortable with you now and so she's like living at home in the dorm. 
caffinatedangel: >.<
caffinatedangel: whatever
caffinatedangel: Now i know shes a spoiled only child whos mother does everything for her
caffinatedangel: Newsflash: Im not her mom.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: But you took out her trash
caffinatedangel: cause I had to!
caffinatedangel: or else wear stinky clothes
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: No you didn't
caffinatedangel: she wasnt going to
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Throw it on her bed. Hide it in her luandry
caffinatedangel: and i didnt take it all out.
caffinatedangel: just the stinky
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I'd''ve throwen it on her ed and when it came back to me, I would hide it in fresh luandry. I'd keep giving it to her
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: im nice
caffinatedangel: so I am her fucking mom
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: WHY?
caffinatedangel: Man, I should ground her
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lmao
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I think you need to learn to play her game until she cuts it out
caffinatedangel: maybe
caffinatedangel: I cant
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: You need to learn when to be nice and when to be flat out mean
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Im serious Brita Mae
caffinatedangel: i know
caffinatedangel: ill explode one day
caffinatedangel: close, i think
caffinatedangel: im nearing my peak. my temper is filling up. lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Why save it for one explosion? let it seep out
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: i cant though
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Whats up with this "I can't"?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: You can too!
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I mean whats keeping you?
caffinatedangel: i hate hurting others
caffinatedangel: Im like..super nice
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: So you let them hurt you?
caffinatedangel: thats preferable
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: One day you'll realise when enough is enough
caffinatedangel: maybe
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I'm sorry. Its just..I hate seeing you let lori be a bitch to you
caffinatedangel: she hasnt DONE anything
caffinatedangel: its what she.. doesnt do. lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Bull fuckin shit!
caffinatedangel: shes just spoiled
caffinatedangel: i feel kinda bad for her
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: She didn't steal your chair?
caffinatedangel: eh, true
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: I just stole it back
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: She didn\t make the comment on getting trashed
caffinatedangel: hrm
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: but what do you do about that?
caffinatedangel: I leave punishment in the hands of.. natura
caffinatedangel: nature*
caffinatedangel: i mean, she was crying tonight
caffinatedangel: Cant help but think.. nature is doing its job
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: So you're more of "What comes around goes around?"
caffinatedangel: yeah
caffinatedangel: every religion believes in it
caffinatedangel: Christians golden rule, kind of...
caffinatedangel: wiccans three fold law
caffinatedangel: then the.. uh.. dunno what religion, but karma
caffinatedangel: divine intervention
caffinatedangel: whatever
caffinatedangel: It works, I believe
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: But it doesn't teach anything
caffinatedangel: thats why I think aaron and I keep running into each other. I mean, what are the chances he would be in my psych class?
caffinatedangel: If you pay attention, it does
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I mean does she realise that this is what she gets for doing the things she did?
caffinatedangel: maybe someplace
caffinatedangel: if not, its not my problem
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I doubt it. I believe what comes around goes around, but I don't think the ppl realsie it 
caffinatedangel: just means she has to experience one more lifetime
caffinatedangel: Thats my reincarnation theory
caffinatedangel: You're reincarnated till you get it
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Explain that to me
caffinatedangel: then you go on to another form of existance. Like passing a test.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Oh
caffinatedangel: If you can't learn, you cant grow, and thus cant move on. Very simple
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: tHEN WHAT?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Sorry
caffinatedangel: Who knows.
caffinatedangel: Theres a wiccan theory, and actually my psych teacher made referance to it as well. Said a scientist can prove there are 13 dimensions
caffinatedangel: wiccan theory is there are 13 levels of existance
caffinatedangel: just.. move up a level. Thats what I think "spirits" are
caffinatedangel: to an extent
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: a scientist can prove there are 13 dimesions?
caffinatedangel: I dunno, he made mention to it, but dimised it as crap
caffinatedangel: but me, The crap he hates I love
caffinatedangel: i wanted to look that up
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: YEah
caffinatedangel: but thats why there are some.. dumb.. people
caffinatedangel: they havent learned, or are simply new
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: /:)
caffinatedangel: and then some people you think "wow..."
caffinatedangel: theyre almost done
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: But they think its YOU that needs to learn. SO whose right in the end?
caffinatedangel: do they think that?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Your guess is as good as mine. But you just said it "Some ppl are almost done and some haven't learned" So..
caffinatedangel: so?
caffinatedangel: theres only one universal right. I think. in the sense of "truth" and "lies"
caffinatedangel: i could be wrong, but eh. Ill be back again
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: But how do you know whose truth is right? I mean its like religion, They all claim theres is the truth, but which one really is?
caffinatedangel: Dunno
caffinatedangel: but we have to try to find out
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: by...?
caffinatedangel: I think in.. another level of existance we know
caffinatedangel: By what you believe
caffinatedangel: I mean, if you question who is right, and who is wrong, then you must question everything
caffinatedangel: Do you have a hand? O.o do you love someone?
caffinatedangel: How do you KNOW you love them?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: What if you just screw religion and everything and just live your life day by day?
caffinatedangel: That could be the right way to do it
caffinatedangel: i, personally, dont think there is a religion that is 100% right
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Me neither
caffinatedangel: I think its our job to take each religion, put it through a sifter, and find the truth
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: And then what? You'd get a gazillion different religions. I mean I'd sift out this, You'd reach in and say we need that.
caffinatedangel: yep
caffinatedangel: takes a few lifetimes ^.^
caffinatedangel: the key is to communicate with our future selves
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Future selves?
caffinatedangel: through history, books, texts. I mean, we have a vast collection of human knowledge stored away. that the past has gathered for us
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: So...?
caffinatedangel: makes it easier
caffinatedangel: I mean hell, in a half hour I could probably find every organized religion online
caffinatedangel: in 1910, you had to walk. ask. research
caffinatedangel: Now, its at my fingertips
caffinatedangel: WOW. lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Wow?
caffinatedangel: I just think that's amazing
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lol oh
caffinatedangel: we have no excuse not to find the truth, or at least skim close to it
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Well yes. But in this lifetime, you'd have to spend it just sifting. I mean, yes you could get all the info you need,. in an instant. But then you have to learn the religion. Sift what you believe and whats nuts. 
caffinatedangel: maybe..
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Then organise ir
caffinatedangel: But.. I have.. already researched all the major religions. I know a good deal about them all. and Im only 18
caffinatedangel: You dont need to really organize it
caffinatedangel: I mean, its not hard
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: It is to ppl who don't really...think much.
caffinatedangel: You look at ALL big religions, the monotheistic ones like Jewish, Christian, Muslim. They're all the same. Lump those bad lads together.
caffinatedangel: Then we have Wiccan, pagan, native american. Again, they're all really the same. Lump those bitches together
caffinatedangel: then we got the sweet ass asian religions. Buddhism, Hinduism. Yeah, they're unique. Lump them together
caffinatedangel: You just got three big religions
caffinatedangel: Not too hard to find the basic truths in each one, really
caffinatedangel: Just a matter of what you DO with the truths once you get them
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: But your truth is different than mine. So now were back at square one
caffinatedangel: how do you know our truths are different?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Becuase when we sift. we sift out different things. Our truths are based on what we believe is true, and whats throughin in for the hell of it
caffinatedangel: i dont think so
caffinatedangel: I think if we sift them, we get the same results.
caffinatedangel: Im not talking about everything we like. but everything we KNOW
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: If you sift out this, and I sift out that. We have two different truths
caffinatedangel: and you take what you find, and you compare them together. from all three lumps
caffinatedangel: and the likenesses. are what is TRUE
caffinatedangel: Like: be good to others
caffinatedangel: Wow
caffinatedangel: how simple
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Yeah,,,
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: But..still. Okay say you think its sessary to pray five times. I say screw praying. If god exists then he doesn't need to hear your words, he needs to feel him in your heart
caffinatedangel: I dont think anyone will find in their pile of what they sifted out : "Be hateful"
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: No
caffinatedangel: Uuh. well see
caffinatedangel: That would of gotten sifted through
caffinatedangel: Im talking about BIG principles. the small "truths" fall through the cracks
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: To some
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: What if praying is a big truth to me?
caffinatedangel: They only cling to it because they arent really sifting. They're.. pretending to. Too stubborn
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Or to you?
caffinatedangel: Then you need to learn to let go
caffinatedangel: because that's not a "big truth" thats.. just important to you
caffinatedangel: Importance can be a lie
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: How do I know I need to let go? How come you don't need to grasp it?
caffinatedangel: Ok, here is what you must do first off
caffinatedangel: In order to learn anything, you have to forget everything
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Okay
caffinatedangel: and if you start sifting through things, with NO previous knowledge. You wont cling to silly things
caffinatedangel: Thats our problem
caffinatedangel: we cling to things.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net:  If we have no previous knowledge we'd sift everything and realise: It didn't need to be sifted. It already was
caffinatedangel: what?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Ok. If we know nothing about the religions, np previous kowlegde of it. And then we sift it, whats the point? Its like sifting sifted flower.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: *flour
caffinatedangel: But its not
caffinatedangel: It would be like sending a child who knows hardly anything to a lake, and tell him to scrape up the bottom of the lake, and sift through it. and tell us what he finds
caffinatedangel: He will find something.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: a rcok
caffinatedangel: but something
caffinatedangel: When he didnt know there were rocks at the bottom of the lack
caffinatedangel: lake*
caffinatedangel: sifting through religions isnt like sifting through flour
caffinatedangel: If.. you go to a website. and you look up Mormons, for example
caffinatedangel: You'll browse pages. See "monday night family home evening" and think What on earht, you poo head
caffinatedangel: That goes through the sifter
caffinatedangel: You see "love one another" and that lump just wont go through. It sticks
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Yeah
caffinatedangel: Not because we know its good, but because it feels right
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Ok. But what about mopre complicated things than that> The 10 commandmetns of christians or buddism ofJewish?
caffinatedangel: those are details
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Do you go through each comandment?
caffinatedangel: too small to last in my sifter
caffinatedangel: who cares abour little rules? Im looking for the meaning of the universe, here.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: In YOUR sifter, what about mine?
caffinatedangel: do you care?
caffinatedangel: Cause if you do, you're sifter might need adjusting next time around
caffinatedangel: then again, Mine might need to be tightened.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Yes! I mean "Thou shall love one another" how can you sift that?
caffinatedangel: Because its already been covered with "love one another"
caffinatedangel: Worship no other god but me
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I can see the "Thou shall not steal" Duh,
caffinatedangel: Thats a commandment
caffinatedangel: That aint lasting
caffinatedangel: its going right on through
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: You lost me
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Love another, but worship me
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Ok
caffinatedangel: I guess then, yes. You WOULD go through the commandments. but because that's the backbone of the religion
caffinatedangel: no "me" as in god
caffinatedangel: God said it
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I can love you. But do I worship you? No
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I know
caffinatedangel: God isnt "one another"
caffinatedangel: he isnt one of us
caffinatedangel: he's above us
caffinatedangel: or so.. they preach
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Right. Love each other and worship god
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Right?
caffinatedangel: yep
caffinatedangel: poo! the last part gets sifted through
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: So, how can you sift that>
caffinatedangel: you can cut apart things
caffinatedangel: Love each other and worship god
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: This is like one hell of a long math proble,m. No matter what, I can't find x!
caffinatedangel: turns into Love Each Other (and worship god) .. that goes by by
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Why>?
caffinatedangel: Its too small to stay in the sifter
caffinatedangel: It falls
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Thats an esstial thing!
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: How?\
caffinatedangel: To who?
caffinatedangel: I think thats poo
caffinatedangel: I think it doesnt matter
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Almost every religion believes that\
caffinatedangel: The main point is to love
caffinatedangel: No.
caffinatedangel: Only in the first lump
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Maybe not god
caffinatedangel: The second lump's "god" is nature, and doesnt want worshiped
caffinatedangel: the third lump HAS no god.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: But love one antoher though
caffinatedangel: yes
caffinatedangel: so it stays
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Love nature, don't tear it down
caffinatedangel: Love Each Other (and worship god)
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: To me thats the sa,e
caffinatedangel: The bold stays, because its strong. the italics leave, cause it isnt
caffinatedangel: But what aobut the third lump?
caffinatedangel: Love yourself?
caffinatedangel: LOVE everything
caffinatedangel: Thats what I come up with
caffinatedangel: God, if you want. Nature, yourself, your big toe
caffinatedangel: love everything.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: But the "god" is what were trying to find truth in! SO how can you sift it through?
caffinatedangel: O.o
caffinatedangel: well, You and I arent looking for the same thing
caffinatedangel: you can have your gold pieces. I'm looking for fish. ^.^
caffinatedangel: lmao
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: No wonder I can't find x...
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lol
caffinatedangel: Youre looking for X, I'm looking for a.
caffinatedangel: See, you're already looking where to find truth
caffinatedangel: Im not looking to GOD.
caffinatedangel: Im looking to religion
caffinatedangel: Religion just happens to mention god a few times
caffinatedangel: so what.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: a few times!?
caffinatedangel: theres a lot of "god this" and "god that" under my sifter.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: But can that have something to do with the fact that you don't believe in god?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I mean I do and don't
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I think its clser to your "angels spirits and deomons and things"
caffinatedangel: God has no say in the matter of truth and lies
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Why not?
caffinatedangel: and thats all Im looking for
caffinatedangel: Because he didnt make them
caffinatedangel: they made him
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Cuz he supoosedly created everything?
caffinatedangel: then how did god come to exist?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: They made god?
caffinatedangel: yes
caffinatedangel: Or didnt.
caffinatedangel: depends on your view
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: How did they come to exist?
caffinatedangel: Truth and Lies arent living things
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Yeah
caffinatedangel: theyre ideas
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: But you talk to them. 
caffinatedangel: and I think .. they made everything
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: So you talk to your ideas
caffinatedangel: I dont .
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: No.. see
caffinatedangel: truth and lies made the angels, spirits, demons that I talk to
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: But how did the truths and lies get there if no one was there to make them?
caffinatedangel: dunno
caffinatedangel: that's why im sifting
caffinatedangel: ^.^
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: *rubs head*
caffinatedangel: I just knocked off two lifetimes for you! lmao
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: So you are sifting to find who was here first?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Thanks
caffinatedangel: No.
caffinatedangel: cause I dont care.
caffinatedangel: Thats why gods, spirits, demons fall through
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Ok. What are looking for?
caffinatedangel: cause im looking for what we're suppose to do. IM looking for the future
caffinatedangel: but in order to understand our future, you must understand our past. It gets pieced together one by one.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: But why look? And why not..wait for it?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Its like look at my present or wait for it
caffinatedangel: because if it comes, and Im not ready? I wont be able to move on with it
caffinatedangel: It will leave me behind.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Are you ready for anything?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: You can never be completly ready
caffinatedangel: indeed
caffinatedangel: but I prefer to be just a few steps behind the future ^.^
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Why?
caffinatedangel: because if I get ahead, I have to wait
caffinatedangel: and if I get too far back, I get lost
caffinatedangel: You have to watch the fine line and follow.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: To me it sounds like your so busy getting ready, your missing life
caffinatedangel: well, Im not getting ready, really
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: *nashes head*
caffinatedangel: thats.. a bad example. I mean, I kind of am. but not
caffinatedangel: Its .... more like putting a puzzle together.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: By sifting your gettiing ready right?
caffinatedangel: but I have to do it in.. exactly three hours. too soon, i sit around for a while
caffinatedangel: too late, and It doesnt count
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Whats the puzzle? We can't undo the past.
caffinatedangel: No we cant
caffinatedangel: but the past left pieces behind
caffinatedangel: sitting there, in a pile. for me to work with
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: For wjay?
caffinatedangel: while the present continues to MAKE more pieces, that I add in
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: *what
caffinatedangel: what? to put together
caffinatedangel: what else do you do with a puzzle, silly
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Why do we have to put the puzzle together? Why not marvel teh mess? Its our PAST. we can't change it. Putting it together just makes it make more sence. Oh we had a war. Heres the facts put it together like a puzzle. We had a war to win our freedoms from britian
caffinatedangel: not that kind of past
caffinatedangel: Past like.. einstein understanding the concept of gravity
caffinatedangel: Freud, with his groundbreaking ideas in psychology
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: So we link that with our knowledge today and hope something new comes along?
caffinatedangel: Socrates. saying the first step to wisdom is to know you know nothing
caffinatedangel: Yes
caffinatedangel: We keep it working, keep the puzzle going
caffinatedangel: until one day, no more pieces are made
caffinatedangel: and we finish it. and we understand
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: When the world dies?
caffinatedangel: and that puzzle becomes our personal pass into the next realm.
caffinatedangel: no, just you die
caffinatedangel: to start again
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Oh lord
caffinatedangel: with a bigger pile next to you, and you have to put it together again
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Why can't I enjoy life?
caffinatedangel: and history will keep giving you hints.
caffinatedangel: You can.
caffinatedangel: take a break. who cares?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Why do I have to put the puzzle together/
caffinatedangel: Youll come back and do it again
caffinatedangel: You dont
caffinatedangel: Only if you wnat to move on
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Then..I keep coming bacl
caffinatedangel: and personally, I think this world sucks
caffinatedangel: If you love this life so much, that shouldnt be bad.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: But bigger pile, more problems?
caffinatedangel: just ignore it, dont go in that room
caffinatedangel: A puzzle only has so many pieces
caffinatedangel: the pile will stop growing
caffinatedangel: so one day you can walk in if you wish, and do it all.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Not nessarily
caffinatedangel: I think so
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: It will only stop growing when our imaginations die
caffinatedangel: there are only so many truths in the world. Eventually it will stop telling you. because you already know. just havent put it together.
caffinatedangel: No..
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Until then, we can continue to make more pieces
caffinatedangel: imaginations will just combine the pieces in more amusing ways
caffinatedangel: forget making the puzzle we were SUPPOSE to make. Lets do.. this ^.^
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lol
caffinatedangel: Face it, people who just live life without wonder, never stop to think.
caffinatedangel: They dont create more pieces.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Ok. But how do you actually create the pieces?
caffinatedangel: by understanding a concept.
caffinatedangel: even if its your own original concept, or someone elses.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Well if I ever get this, then you've helped me create a gazillion..
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: who knows, maybe the puzzle is one of those cool 3d puzzles
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: But if everyone has learned the concept of..gravity, then we all made the peice
caffinatedangel: yep
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I hate those
caffinatedangel: its a universal truth
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: It was an idea
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: That we al believe
caffinatedangel: a cornerstone of the puzzle
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: How can we believe that there is gravity? Becuase if I drop a penicil it will fall? becuase I walk rather than float?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Sure it fits. But is it gravity?
caffinatedangel: youre asking a silly question
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Or is it...szzkdf
caffinatedangel: because no matter what you call it, its there.
caffinatedangel: its an idea, not a name
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Right
caffinatedangel: the fact that a pencil falls with you drop it, makes a puzzle piece
caffinatedangel: of.. a pencil falling, when dropped. lol
caffinatedangel: not "gravity"
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Okay.
caffinatedangel: thats why I dont care about "god"
caffinatedangel: God.. isnt a person
caffinatedangel: god is a concept
caffinatedangel: and I have that concept in my puzzle somewhere.
caffinatedangel: wow. My head even hurts
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Mine too
caffinatedangel: I act like I know what im talking about
caffinatedangel: I just make it up as I go along
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: And I am throughly lost
caffinatedangel: its how I make puzzle pieces. lol. Talking
caffinatedangel: Did you know Socrates believed the only way to learn was through communication? Talking things out with someone else.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: It makes sence but..it doesnt
caffinatedangel: *shrugs*
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: No but that makes sence
caffinatedangel: I dont really.. know what I say actually
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: It just comes out?
caffinatedangel: I have to read it again. and go "Holy fuck, I said that?"
caffinatedangel: its why I dont always remember things I say
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lol
caffinatedangel: I mean, I know something, maybe? a little. and just go with it.
caffinatedangel: but, like any equation. I do make mistakes
caffinatedangel: put negatives where it should be positive..
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I think its something you believe but don't realise until you speak it
caffinatedangel: forget something isnt negative when I moved it to the other side..
caffinatedangel: And my mother doesnt think Im logical.
caffinatedangel: Im saving this badlad.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I think you logical. I think your mother doesn't care to understanf
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Me too lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Welcome back
caffinatedangel: hey, wait a second. How did I get disconnected?
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: travis_data : night brita
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Sorry
caffinatedangel: O.o
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Travis (12:16:40 AM): B  hmmm....
Travis (2:28:18 AM): Not to priy or anything but whatcha doing?
caffinatedangel: I named the file "holy poo batman"
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Look at the time difference...lol.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lol
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: man..
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: salinabug@sbcglobal.net (2:29:42 AM): Getting confused out of my mind
Travis (2:29:47 AM): lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net (2:29:54 AM): Brita is...yeah
Travis (2:29:59 AM): 
Travis (2:31:26 AM): Well i'm going to goto be now.  Don't know why but i am.
Travis (2:31:40 AM): *bed
salinabug@sbcglobal.net (2:31:59 AM): Well okies
salinabug@sbcglobal.net (2:32:02 AM): You have fun
Travis (2:32:17 AM): Asleep... yeah right.
Travis (2:32:26 AM): lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net (2:32:28 AM): Dreams can be fun
Travis (2:32:33 AM): Nope.
Travis (2:32:45 AM): Only confusing
salinabug@sbcglobal.net (2:33:06 AM): Thats why there fun
Travis (2:33:17 AM): 
salinabug@sbcglobal.net (2:33:39 AM): Trying to untangle the confusion is fun when you make it be
Travis (2:34:46 AM): But i don't remember my
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Travis (2:34:46 AM): But i don't remember my dreams 3 seconds after i wake up...  A during it is just to weird to try.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net (2:35:03 AM): Exactly
Travis (2:35:24 AM): lol Well night.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net (2:35:35 AM): Night
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Thats the most we've talked in...ages lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Sweet
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: *dances*
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Lalala
caffinatedangel: man
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Compare that, with the one we just had. Hm
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: No wonder the world is round
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: thats a weird comment
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: How so?
caffinatedangel: I dont get it ^.^
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Yes! Its MY turn
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Ok
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I think of it like this
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: We have ppl like you. Your mind never ends. Its amazing. You could have me sitting here for hours..then theres people like travis. Whose mind barely goes past his eyes
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Then the ppl in the middle. Its what makes the world round
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: If we were all the same, it would be a square world
caffinatedangel: Hm, true
caffinatedangel: But.. this is funny, cause its back to where we started ^.^
caffinatedangel: about how.. some people have been here a lot, with big minds, others havent.
caffinatedangel: theyre new. ignorant
caffinatedangel: or perhaps lazy
caffinatedangel: havent gotten to work on that puzzle
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Are they lazy or do they just not realise the puzzle is there?
caffinatedangel: good question
caffinatedangel: probably both. different people, different things
caffinatedangel: i should really get to bed soon
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: So teh ppl who are different with different things, will they be back?
caffinatedangel: *shrugs*
caffinatedangel: Unless they get the puzzle done, probably
caffinatedangel: thats what I mean (i think) about how I like to stay right behind the future
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Hm. Well you need to get bed.
caffinatedangel: so I can get parts done, but take a break and relax without getting too far behind.
caffinatedangel: Because I can only be here for so many years
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: You can be here as long as you want
caffinatedangel: yes, but the puzzle restarts
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: can't your spirt stay?
caffinatedangel: i want to go on
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Can you go on, with out your spirit?
caffinatedangel: thats like asking if a monitor can show pictures without electricity
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: It can
caffinatedangel: O.o
caffinatedangel: /:)
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: You have to invent it fist though
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Get batteries
caffinatedangel: batteries are a form of electricity
caffinatedangel: ok, without power.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: The keyboard an mouse is wireless. SO thes moniter
caffinatedangel: I mean, its just an empty shell without it.
caffinatedangel: can the turtle shell move on without the turtle inside it?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Look at your moniyer nice and long. You willsee the pictures
caffinatedangel: lol
caffinatedangel: crazy loon
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Yes!
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Someone will kick it along
caffinatedangel: but then, can the shell and the turtle every be reunited?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Yes.
caffinatedangel: and will the turtle survive without the shell?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Yes. The body may not, but the turtle will
caffinatedangel: but he'd be incomplete.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: (And your not trying to tell me IT is dead are you)
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: He may not be, but if he FEELS complete, then he is
caffinatedangel: The concept of .. my spirit staying but.. me still going on is confusing
caffinatedangel: my spirit IS me
caffinatedangel: without my spirit, my body dies
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Take your heart, leave your spirit to watch over 
caffinatedangel: my heart only runs my shell
caffinatedangel: my spirit holds my thoughts.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Your heart is where your emotions are stored
caffinatedangel: I guess I just dont see the point in it
caffinatedangel: I beg to differ
caffinatedangel: our techincal heart is basically an organic machine
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: right
caffinatedangel: our "heart" poets refer to, is in our spirit
caffinatedangel: our soul
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: No.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: You spirit and your soul resides in your heart
caffinatedangel: crazy loon
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: lol, thanks
caffinatedangel: I dont believe that.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: No you know I feel sometimes
caffinatedangel: thats why if you read my poetry, I virtually never speak of someone touching my heart.
caffinatedangel: I think eyes are windows to the soul
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: In this book I read, it says" The fairies are between the body and the soul" so I ask: Where is that?
caffinatedangel: but the soul is.. an energy force (much like electricity) that powers our body. but it isnt IN one place.
caffinatedangel: I dont believe that either
caffinatedangel: ^.^
caffinatedangel: our hands emit.. power. heat.  an aura
caffinatedangel: our "aura" is our soul
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: yes
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I agree
caffinatedangel: Surronds and encases our intire body
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: No
caffinatedangel: and, if there had to be a place to reside, I'd say inside your eyes.
caffinatedangel: not your heart.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I think our pysical being, protects it. Ppl with "tough skin" don't get there souls hurt much. vs. ppl like me, with "thin skin" 
caffinatedangel: i guess I dont think our souls can literally get hurt.
caffinatedangel: Theres a stephen king book I think you would like.. if I could remember what it was called
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: When you feel hurt, where do you hurt?
caffinatedangel: but this old guy ends up going sort of insane. and he starts seeing these little men. One with a rusty scaple, one with scissors. and the man also sees peoples auras. And a line from the top of their head forever upwards.
caffinatedangel: the little men cut the lines, and the people die. The rusty scapel, used in tragic sudden deaths. The scissors, quiet, gentle deaths.
caffinatedangel: Just.. interesting ^.^ off topic.
caffinatedangel: When I get hurt, I feel it.. everywhere.
caffinatedangel: even in my toes
caffinatedangel: up my spine especially
caffinatedangel: like.. as if my spine was my energy core, and I just got a power surge.
caffinatedangel: and my eyes ache.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: So if I was to call you some name that would crush you, you'd feel it in your toes?
caffinatedangel: well, yes. but mostly in my neck, spine..
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: WEhy?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Gr
caffinatedangel: why?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Yes.
caffinatedangel: *shrugs*
caffinatedangel: I dunno
caffinatedangel: thats where I hurt when i do
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: When you read "your Mamaw Glenna passed away" what was the first thing that happend after that
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: ?
caffinatedangel: I closed my eyes
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: to hide your soul from the truth?
caffinatedangel: To give my soul a rest
caffinatedangel: I have to admit, thats where it hurts first. my eyes
caffinatedangel: I even get eye headaches. like. right behind my eyes.
caffinatedangel: but then it moves and resides in my upper neck
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: So thats why your soul is in your eyes.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Where as when the docter said "Shes gone" my chest caved in
caffinatedangel: when I get clausterphobic My.. neck/chest tightens. but its different, I think
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Is claudterphobia part of your soul?
caffinatedangel: tough to say
caffinatedangel: I truly dont know
caffinatedangel: OH! interesting fact
caffinatedangel: before socrates, they believed your soul to be an emotionless shadow inside yourself
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: hm
caffinatedangel: I found that interesting
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: That is
caffinatedangel: socrates brought about the idea of FEELIng with a divine being inside you
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I think our soul is a shadow in us, but emotionless?
caffinatedangel: some say he was crazy and talked to god.
caffinatedangel: but others say its the first referance ever to a soul. Saying right and wrong
caffinatedangel: I have to be honest, I think our souls were all too immature before them
caffinatedangel: Come on, socrates? That was  LONG time ago.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: True
caffinatedangel: so maybe they didnt get how yet. and socrates was a quick puzzle maker. more pieces than everyone else. and whizzed through this world.
caffinatedangel: his soul his... puzzle making self.. knows more than everyone elses did
caffinatedangel: maybe.. our souls remember where the pieces ago. Since they are us, just not.. completely?
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: See (going back) I think my anxiety is part of my soul. I don't think I can find 100% relief in a bottle. When Anthony comes in, I have to concentrate really hard on simple breathing. But then, out of no where, I can be laughing an dhave a grand time, and then on the floor to weak to move, fighting for my breath
caffinatedangel: this is when i feel insane. and talk about looking at myself in a mirror, and seeing two mes.
caffinatedangel: hm. we both find issues with ourselves
caffinatedangel: Ive spoken to my little sister about things like this. Sifting kind of. But I said it was connecting the dots
caffinatedangel: and everytime something clicks, I just connected another dot.
caffinatedangel: TO make some sort of grand picture, like the puzzle.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: See I think all of ppl see our souls a shadow in us. You believe a little differently. This may be why you can see two of you
caffinatedangel: i mean, if the soul LIVEs inside of us..
caffinatedangel: it means.. we are two seperate beings
caffinatedangel: I can only LISTEN to it
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Right
caffinatedangel: what if we are like.. hosts. for some sembiant being.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Thats why I say our soul is in our hearts. Becuase it lives, and I can hear it. I can feel it. I can hear yours if I listen carefully. I can't understand yours though. (Hell can I understand mine?)
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Define sembiant
caffinatedangel: Uuuh. some greater being
caffinatedangel: oops
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I think of bactieia when you say it like that? What if we were hosts? Ah...
caffinatedangel: "symbiont"
caffinatedangel: yeah
caffinatedangel: it is
caffinatedangel: Like.. something living inside us
caffinatedangel: feeding off of us.
caffinatedangel: feeding off our emotions?
caffinatedangel: but without it we wouldnt have life
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: So then, we feed each other
caffinatedangel: " A relationship of mutual benefit or dependence."
caffinatedangel: but yet, are the same person
caffinatedangel: somehow?
caffinatedangel: we become so closely tied that we are the same
caffinatedangel: Maybe thats what jesus meant when he said he and god are the same, and different
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: But is there that small space between that makes us different?
caffinatedangel: "god" being the concept. and then.. I heard once that "God is us, and we are God"
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Becuase we live the concept of God
caffinatedangel: Im connecting gods ^.^
caffinatedangel: No..
caffinatedangel: I dont think so, in this case
caffinatedangel: I think, in religion ive been taught, actaully, that our spirit is made from the same thing "god" is made from. Like, it is a being
caffinatedangel: Hrm. Im confusing
caffinatedangel: and if there is space between us and our soul/spirit. Then its not on this plane of existance.
caffinatedangel: perhaps another dimension we arent aware of between ourselves and our souls
caffinatedangel: where thoughts are things, and everything we believe exists ^.^
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Wow
caffinatedangel: ah shizzles. I gotta get to bed soon. lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Me too
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: we shall have to contiue this...
caffinatedangel: lol. We always do.
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: :)
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: I'll c-ya tomorrow
caffinatedangel: okies. ^.^ Have a sweet sleep. Dont dream too much of weird things
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: Erm. I wouldn't rememeber if I did so I think I am safe
caffinatedangel: lol
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: ;)
salinabug@sbcglobal.net: But uh..you too
caffinatedangel: lol, g'night ^.^
