I know people like that. In fact I have quite a few amount in my family, my husband�s family and others, in friends and acquaintances...it is really so very sad, and prayer is what we should seek to do first and foremost for them. And if an opportunity presents itself... maybe then we can reach out to help them?!
I have felt the pain from these hurting people, and while I understand and even have compassion for them, I also know when not to drink from the same cup of pain, hurt and sorrow again.
And when to protect my loved ones and myself. Through Prayer and through Magick.
I harm no one, as that is against my beliefs in the Rede and Bible Scripture according to Jesus.
But I will, and do defend myself, as I believe the God/dess would have me to do.
If they, (the people who are hurting and needy) will let you reach out to them, try to do so. Many will not accept your help and some will. Use your personal insight and wisdom in this area.
I think we can only hope that people who truly do understand that to love others, you must first learn to love yourself...as you are , flaws and all. Accept yourself, let others love you where you are at in life. There are some of us who actually can and will do that, without judgments. As it should be. For who are we to judge others? Are we perfect, without flaws? I think not. I know I am not.
In my younger days I had little or no love or self-respect for myself and did many things I regret. But now in my 30-something years I can look back and chalk it all up to learning experiences and see where even through painful times and situations you grow� and I did. I grew stronger. And it has helped me to help others, where I am at in my life and where they are at in theirs.
My eldest daughter and I spoke just the other day about how when Jesus was with us on Earth, He hung out with the
� supposed lowlifes of society� according to the religious leaders of His days!
He was hanging with the prostitutes, the tax collectors,( they were no more well liked than some IRS workers are today!), the poor, the diseased and the afflicted. People who lived to drink, dine and laugh, for tomorrow they might very well die. Either from illnesses, or under the religious leaders, King Herod �s or the Romans rule.
These people were not what you�d expect Jesus (God) to hang out with. But He preferred their company to �the supposed holy people�. He loved them where they were at that moment.
And that is how I try to live my life�loving people where they are at in life, not waiting for them to be better or live some supposedly better life.
I worked in a church before and have seen this same �holier than thou� attitude from the pastors I worked for. I did not see them get their hands or suits dirty in helping the people who really needed their compassion, and self-sacrificing services. I did see so much of the backbiting and unloving attitudes amongst these three pastors. Even towards their congregation and other people working there in the church. It saddened me and almost made me bitter. But God/dess reached out to my heart and changed me forevermore.
But these pastors actions were just one of the many reasons that made me dislike the whole �Organized Machine� of what so many of the churches and religious organizations have become. To me they are the modern-day Pharisees! Jesus would probably be disgusted.
I come from a verbally and sexually abusive childhood, and it took me years to learn to value and love myself. It did not help to have all the men in my life back then treat women like second-class citizens. I am a strong willed and learned fighter... I started standing up to all men at age 15. Including my father on my mother�s behalf, as she just could not.
My Mother always said , � I never wanted to break your spirit, just bend it a little.� I can understand why such a strong daughter might have worried her, as a woman raised in the �children should be seen and not heard� era, I was extremely precocious and obstinate in comparison to many other little girls. I think she feared my Father�s wrath and rightfully so for it did come down on me� but I withstood the storms and I did learn to bend as a tree with deep roots does in a hurricane.
The day my Father was shut up for once was the day I was around 14 or 15 and he said to me, �We are all cosmic accidents.� And I replied, �You may be a cosmic accident, but I am a Child of God!�. I thought he�d either keel over at my words or knock me down! He did neither, he just walked away very angrily.
My poor Mother had held her breath through the whole thing! And could only wonder at my daring, and to this day I believe it was the words of the God/dess speaking through me. For I truly had no plan to say anything, just walk away from him. But I could not let him keep bullying her and I.
There are days I feel and think I should be broken as a person�but it is just not within me to ever give up.
I really do believe the proverb, �That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.� Many people do not understand that even from my earliest recollections as a mere child, my Faith in the God/dess carried me through my darkest hours and days.
As it continues to do even now, as I face every day in pain due to Chronic Conditions and the Grieving Process for my dear beloved Mother whom passed over this year, in early April.
I am today a stronger and much more empowered woman and have and am still raising up three daughters to be strong within and without, to know their self-worth and to be empowered. And that to be a strong woman can intimidate many persons, but if it does then you know that there are other�s who will not fear strength, and can become good and true friends.
My dear departed Mother taught me that, and also to have friends you must first be a friend. She was a wise woman, with such common sense. I miss her, but feel her presence nearby like an angel hovering at my elbow or resting in that special corner of my mind and heart.
My husband, before he became my husband, was the only man I trusted completely. And it took almost 12 to 15 yrs of married life before I realized that there were actually other good guys out there. And even then I find myself wary of them. Sad but true.
Hurt does tend to teach you to guard your heart, psyche and soul. I believe to be a large part of self-preservation skills. Another proverb I have written in my heart is:
�Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.�~ Old Proverb
Trust and respect must be earned, and I still find I place a barrier around my heart and spirit. And if hurt or attacked I am not quick to let my guard down again, even though I am a very empathetic and compassionate woman. I am always going to be on the defensive I think. It has become part of my nature. Perhaps it was something I was born with, this warrior�s nature to defend others. My loved ones, my friends, the defenseless. My natural instinct and reaction is to help those in need. And to teach them to defend themselves, verbally and physically.
Abused children can overcome their pasts and be helped to overcome as well, and hopefully then go on to lead healthy normal lives. And to raise children free from abuse. The pattern can be broken, and must be if we are to raise the next generations to be better than we are ourselves.
I feel that trust is always going to be an issue for me, and sometimes for others. But in this day and age perhaps it needs to be. A person�s word cannot be held in honor, nor is a handshake a persons solemn bond.
People are lawsuit happy�they play the �blame game� instead of taking responsibility for their actions or resolving conflicts out of court where it wastes us the taxpayer�s, countless amounts of money.
Why not use mediation in its stead? It is so much more sensible, but perhaps too many of us lack sensibilities?! And sensitivity.
I have hope that we survivors who have not become embittered by our pasts can teach the next generations to solve their problems without wars, and needless lawsuits, physical fighting and harming others with words even.
�Without Hope, the people perish.� (The Bible) So let us continue to hope, so that we may mot perish. And others perhaps can gain something from our hope as well.
My hope is for us to seek to be at peace with one another, even though these are not peaceful times we are living in.
Let us make a difference in our own lives, our children and children�s children lives. And in the lives of a stranger. Not for our own gain, though doesn�t it feel good to help others?!
But to please God/dess and live as we were meant to live. Thinking of others. And yes act locally, and globally people! We are connected, we are all brothers and sisters in this fragile thing called Life. Whether you think of Life as a Circle, a Web whose strands overlap and interconnect us, or a Spiral. We are all still connected and part of one another. What we do affects others around the globe even if we cannot see it.
Let us learn our Life Lessons well here and now, and be the better for them.
Blessed Be,
~Luna-Star Xylia