| (the terrace dictionary...cont'd) A Brief Disclaimer: When I undertook this TERRACE DICTIONARY as my initiations offering, I approached it as a sophomore who has spent what is probably way more time than can seriously be good for her in the past year and a half at Terrace. I think it's pretty safe to say that my friends and I have become an obnoxiously reliable presence in all parts of Terrace, simply because we like to hang out, smoke a lot of cigarettes, and generally sit around and play the fun Smartass Game. Therefore, this TERRACE DICTIONARY is written from the perspective of someone who isn't yet entirely DOWN with the TERRACE LINGO but can take a pretty good stab at what's going on simply through osmosis, which the reader may or may not remember from eighth grade science class as the process through which the male organs (stamen) of the orchid pollinate the female organs (pistil) of the orchid, therefore producing the tiny seeds that will one day grow up to be beautiful orchids themselves, proudly displaying their fantastic and exotic colors to the world. A few notes on the dictionary in general: --If what I wrote can be misconstrued, in any way, to seem as though I do not, in fact, love the Jewish people as much as I do, then I am shocked and appalled and assure everyone that I do, in fact, love Jews. I have some friends who know some Jews, and they keep telling me how great they are-and HOT. I love Jews SO MUCH that I am even posted on Jdate under the name "jewwannabe." I cannot make this stuff up. --I actually do know what osmosis is. I'm not a moron, okay? --I know this dictionary is not in "alphabetical order." It's not because I have difficulty ascertaining proper "alphabetical order" when it's 6:30 in the morning and I'm safely plastered. Rather, it is because I prefer to take a more holistic approach to categorization, feeling and intuiting where each entry should be placed in the grand scheme of things, instead of taking the rigid and oppressive "traditional" "alphabetical order" shit. I feel as though "alphabetical order" is yet another institution, devised by THE MAN with the sole intention of keeping us down. I am morally opposed to allowing THE MAN to continue to hold my people down, as he has for my grandfather's generation, and his grandfather's generation, and so on and so forth on back for the past 35-40 years. This is, of course, unless it's very late and I'm lonely, in which case I occasionally need a good man to hold me down. This disclaimer has now gotten officially out of control. Respectfully submitted, E.C. Dye now look at the dictionary. unless you were smart and already looked at it, out of order...jackass. |