The Need For Drop-Ins

by

Mark Sampson

If you’re anything like me then you enjoy your own space. It’s nice to have time for yourself, where you can chill out and (hopefully) have nobody disturb you. Yet, as the old saying goes, “no man is an island”.

Yes having time to yourself is good in moderation, but if you spend too much time alone you can feel lonely and depressed, and crave meaningful human companionship. Therefore it’s good to be able to know that there’s somewhere you can go to if you need someone to talk to. Yes folks I am of course talking about that chronically undervalued service – The Drop-In!

Drop-Ins are great. They are somewhere for people to go and interact with other service users, in a non-clinical environment.  Yet for some people the term “drop-in” is almost like a swear word. These people make the misapprehension that, if you’ll pardon the pun, drop-INs are for drop-OUTs. The assumption is made that the people who go there are just going to sit and vegetate, while their brains slowly rot away.

What utter nonsense! I’ve met some interesting and intellectually stimulating people (both staff and members) by attending drop-ins. Whilst there I’ve also played Scrabble and taken part in answering cross-words, both of which are good ways to give yourself a bit of mental exercise. 

If I had my way, there would be drop-in centres operating 24 hours a day, 7-days a week in my local town. If I’m suffering from a bout of insomnia at 2 AM or am feeling a bit low and vulnerable in the evening, it t would be nice to walk along to my local drop-in and see friendly faces who could help improve my mood. 

If drop-in centres are not readily available to service users then some of them will instead go to pubs, which means more personal expense for the service user’s already beleaguered bank balance. What’s even worse is those service users trying to combat drinking problems will be put under a great temptation by merely being in that environment. 

Yet there are some people (boo! hiss!) who would rather do away with drop-ins altogether and replace them with centres that have timetabled activities.  While routine can be very constructive in the life of the service user, it is not always possible, as some peoples’ mental health and sleep patterns can vary wildly and this has an obvious impact on whether they can attend the service or not.  

Taking away this place of refuge from those kind of vulnerable people could contribute to unstabilising their mental health. In some instances this could lead to the need for them to be hospitalised, which would be a great expense to both the tax-payer and the client’s local health authority. 

So, Mr or Ms Health Authority Executive, let me put this in simple language that not even you can fail to understand – TAKING AWAY DROP-INS WILL COST YOU MORE MONEY THAN IT SAVES! Yes, I knew that would grab your attention! So take my advice and keep your drop-ins, before you make your financial situation any worse that it already is. 

Anyway, time to finish on a song - “You’ll never know dear how much I love you, so don’t you take my DROP-IN away!”

by

Paul Nelson

Most suicides occur between three and five in the morning, partly because it is then that you are well and truly alone. Also you haven’t slept that night, which tends to blur your outlook and hamper your judgement.

Suicide is an escape, a “get out of life free” card that is played because life is so frustrating and looks like continuing that way, with no let up.

Bearing the stigma or mental ill health and being limited by the illness is not productive of a full and joyous life. Being forced to exist on a rough council estate, for example, makes the picture bleaker still.

The symptoms of illness, and the stigma attached to it, ensure that you’re not likely to get work. You have the status of a beggar “living on handouts” and are unlikely to travel much to broaden your outlook. It is only the lucky few who get D.L.A. to sugar the pill financially.

If you’re unable to hold down a job then you lack both the finances to run a car and the social status to be “good marriage prospect”.  Most days are spent alone, allowing time to brood on what you’re missing out on; and any kind of sleep disorder compounds the gloominess.

The key word to suicide is despair; not that the present moment is so bleak, because humans can withstand a lot now if the future holds anything at all. The future being relentlessly the same is the fear; no way out of despair and no way in to life.

When you see others driving their cars to work or walking with their partners, it is easy to forget that they have problems too. Perhaps they are so busy doing things that they don’t have time to give to brooding or plotting merciless futures.

So you’re limited in life, you’re awake and brooding, and you’ve made your up to end this “parody of life”. It then becomes a question of means.

Fortunately most suicides fail, partly because the body wants to stay alive and you have to conquer its resistance. Partly it’s because there are people who care for you and will raise the alarm.

Chances are good that your suicide attempt will land you in A and E, perhaps before a renewed tour of duty in a mental hospital. Ugly marks on the wrist or an impaired digestive system are embarrassing reminder of the bid. I’ve tried it a few times and it adds to the humiliation to have failed at death as much as life.

Two friends who did succeed, spread a lot of pain among a lot of people, family and friends.

Nothing I can say will stop someone who is committed to death; but perhaps they’d consider that what lies beyond is unknown and perhaps as bad as what they’re escaping, and maybe we have to earn the right to die by applying ourselves more vigorously to life.

The Personality Disorder Controversy

by

Adam Makeham

Personality disorder - definition: - Any of a group of disorders in which patterns of perceiving, relating to, and thinking about one's self and one's environment interfere with the long-term functioning of an individual, often manifested in deviant behavior and lifestyle.

(Source: American Heritage Stedman's Medical Dictionary via www.dictionary.com)

A Psychiatrist once advised me that I did not actually have a mental health problem, that what I really had was a “personality disorder”. What confuses me is that different professionals seem to have varying opinions as to whether a personality disorder falls under the category of “Mental Illness”. Yet the above definition (which comes from a medical dictionary) leads to me to ask the following question: if it’s not a “Mental Illness” then

WHAT THE HELL IS IT?!

How am I supposed to get a consistent standard of care and support if not even the doctors can agree what’s wrong with me? I do not doubt that I have a personality disorder (the description fits my condition well), I just question whether it’s as far removed from Mental Illness as some people would like you to think. Is it just a case of some people trying to “split hairs”, or if I’m really being cynical, yet another excuse not to be seen by people in the Mental Health service?

Well my attitude is, if personality disorder really is not a form of mental ill-health then please would someone tell me where I can find my nearest Personality Disorder Team so that I can get the support that I need!

Having this disorder can make me feel a bit like Jekyl & Hyde at times. Most of the time, I am the most friendly, peaceful, easygoing person you could meet, but when my disorder gets the better of me, I do awful things that, afterwards, I feel deeply ashamed and embarrassed by. 

The problem is that, at the time, I don’t realise what I’m doing. It’s only afterwards when someone explains to me what has happened, do I fully comprehend what it is I have done. Then my mind slowly starts to remember what has taken place, and I realise that it was because my voices urged me to do it.

While things I have done COULD have potentially been dangerous for both myself and the people around me, I am pleased to say that I have never harmed another person through my actions. Also, these incidents are incredibly rare in my life.  I find that they are most likely to occur when I am suffering from extreme anxiety. So have no fear, you’re not about to see on Crimewatch any time soon! 

That’s how I try to get by, make light of my condition rather than let it get me down.  I was very amused when one Psychiatrist joked that my condition would make me an ideal candidate for the next series of Big Brother! Well if a guy with Tourette’s can win it then why can’t I?!

Tranquilized Tim

proudly presents:

What They Say… And What They Mean!

Ah! The noble art of “spin”, taking a statement that is essentially negative in meaning and making it sound positive. You may have thought that this had only been mastered by those seeking a position in government but no, it is also effectively mastered by the people who work for your local health authority! As I am fluent in spin (more commonly known as “bullsh*t”), I will kindly translate for you what they mean.

At it’s height I was going through a constant daily wave of negative thoughts 24/7 systematically destroying every good thing about me to the point when I couldn’t take this unbelievable hell any longer and lost all hope. I was so afraid to face each day that I stayed in bed until the afternoon. Night time was the worst torture of all with my brain working overtime on all the horrible things that would happen.

Things were so bad that I kept tossing and turning all night and constantly sweating due to the shear panic about what the future held for me. I’m not religious but in my darkest hour I asked for God’s help and was not surprised when nothing happened, least not at the time. I was admitted to Tindal one week before Christmas and the medication finally kicked in about six weeks later and I began to see a feint glimmer of hope at last and then began to think about God, heaven etc but would need some sign or proof before taking it seriously. At this time my depression had caused considerable damage to my brain and for a long time I was considered to be retarded. My wife recalls that she witnessed me taking half an hour to put on a pair of socks as I couldn’t decide which sock went on which foot! I was unable to carry out the simplest task and my memory was completely shot and without it you can barely function.

Later that week something suddenly went off like a flash in my brain triggering a chain reaction of thoughts and ideas concerning heaven, the universe etc and all the switches and lights were being turned on in my brain including some that I didn’t know I had! For the first time in my life I felt a strong presence in the room with me and for a brief shining moment everything that I had ever learned about religion, science and many other topics suddenly all started to come together like fitting the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle and the big picture began to emerge more clearly. In an instant I had gone from being retarded to my brain and memory working faster than every before. As a lifetime sceptic about God and the afterlife it all began to make perfect sense for the first time.

This ‘spiritual experience’ or ‘awakening’ was intensely emotional and I felt as if I had been a drowning man with no hope of rescue and then a hand reached down and pulled me to safety and I was surrounded by love of family and friends I didn’t know existed. Just when I thought I was all alone someone made it clear that I will never be alone.

From that moment I felt all of my senses were working better than ever before in terms of sound and vision, particularly colour, which was much stronger and more vivid to the point that I realised that I had been living too much of my life in black and white but now I was beginning to live it in colour! Apart from my five senses being enhanced I discovered that I had a sixth sense too! I am not saying that I became a psychic but I really felt and sensed things like never before.  For me intuition or sixth sense acts like a light to illuminate a path through a strong feeling and all that you have to do is to follow it logically to find your way.

For the first time in my life I believed in something greater than ourselves and that gave me the strength and hope to fight back combined with the love and support of my wife, family and friends. I realised that if you don’t believe in something greater than this life then it may not be too long before you stop believing in yourself and then everything can fall apart. I tried to tell people about this experience at the time but no one believed me because I was mentally ill so in the end I stopped telling anyone. A few close friends who are also Christians have listened to my story and they believe me.

Over the next four years I steadily improved until my consultant confirmed that I had made a full recovery. The feeling and the certainty of what happened at that time never diminished despite endless questions and doubts. I am not religious but I do believe that as one life ends another begins and that we all have a direct line and can communicate at any time but if you don’t ask you don’t get. My experience has shown me that when you reach the edge of this world in despair that it is possible to touch the edge of the next world.

During those few days in February 1992 I felt a little piece of heaven and as a result it lifted my spirits and helped me to get my health back. After forty years in the wilderness when I thought that my life was over I discovered a new world and a new life full of possibilities. My breakdown was the most devastating and painful event of my life but it led to discovering what is really important being your family, friends and people.

Unfortunately my bi-polar disorder has returned in the past few years but this time as a constant anxiety and worry about everything and anything even though I know that I’m worrying over nothing. People always assume that having a mental breakdown is a permanent tragedy that stops a person leading a normal and useful life but that is nonsense. The worst thing that happened in my life lead to best thing to happen to me, excluding family, and made me realise that I had been blind but now I could see a lot more clearly.

Some of the best people that I have ever met have been fellow sufferers who so moved me by their kindness and compassion to others that it inspired me to want to give something back and that’s why I became an advocate for a local charity. Some believe in miracles but for me this event helped me to overcome my breakdown to the point that people couldn’t believe that I had been ill in the first place. 

During my illness some people treated me as the village idiot, some neighbours crossed the street to avoid me and someone even called me ‘a retard!’  It’s amazing that in the 21st Century that this ridiculous prejudice against the mentally ill still persists due to peoples ignorance.  They say that in order to find heaven that you have had to go through hell first, well I’ve experienced both and it was worth the suffering in order to find heaven. Now I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel! My experience is similar to a near death experience as it involves light out of darkness. For me I can move forward through life’s journey knowing that whilst there is light ahead then there is hope!

Yours faithfully,

Barry McEvoy