Issue 4 (January 2006)
The Eccentric
Times is supported by Bucks Mind (a Mental Health charity), although
the
views expressed within are not necessarily their own.
The
Joys of Being Different
Like many people who battle with mental illness, I can be fairly
described as “unconventional”. As a
result of this I
often feel an outcast living in a society that often has little
tolerance or appreciation for people who live life differently to them.
A close friend and I have good natured arguments over whether we were
just born different, or developed into difference, from not only
mainstream society, but also from all the subcultures outside the
mainstream.
Some people say “I’m different” then
identify which
subculture they’re hiding in. I found myself failing to fit
with
subcultures just as much as with mainstream society.
As I get older and more used to various feelings, I find myself
enjoying the upside of being different. To start with there is the
connection with other misfits. One can laugh at the hilarious antics of
normal people when they come into the outside edges of life.
More, though, one develops interests that connect one up with
great people of the past, people who have had some experience of being
different and did something positive with it – in music, in
literature, in science or a hundred other ways.
I certainly found myself feeling such connections as I pursued my
interests in writing, in yoga, in martial arts and in art.
I found as I worked on my social weaknesses that I was a good listener
(in my twenties, I had no alternative! I just did not speak, I
couldn’t); and this turns out to be a real social asset.
People
appreciate being heard and being understood! It’s easier to
make
sense of someone else’s experience than of one’s
own.
I have had to work hard at the basics of communication and have made
all sorts of connections with the wrong sort of people over the years.
Finally I made connections with good people, and that helped sugar the
pill considerably.
Being an outcast does, I feel, lend certain advantages, and as I listen
to more normal people I find them questioning the norms anyway.
Finding
A Flat
by
Adam Makeham
I currently live in a flat with a housing association. I’m
very
pleased with where I’m living and the staff are very
efficient.
The problem is that it’s only a shorthold-tenancy, so I
can’t live there for ever. So right now I am looking for
somewhere else to live.
My situation is familiar to a lot of people in the mental health
system. I phone up a private landlord enquiring about a flat they have
for rent. They tell me about the property, say how much money it costs
to rent, and everything seems to be going well… until I
mention
the word… BENEFITS!
It’s a bit of an emotional roller coaster for me: the elation
of
looking around the flat, seeing where I could be living, and then the
despair when they tell me they don’t want to rent it out to
me
because I’ve told them about my employment situation.
But why are private landlords so reluctant to take on tenants who are
on benefits? One of the reasons is that the benefits system is anything
but straightforward. There are lots of forms to be filled in, then you
have to wait around for the final decision to be made. Most landlords
don’t want to wait around, they just want the cash straight
away.
Also if the government decides to stop your benefits for any reason, it
can be a long and complicated legal process for the landlord to evict
you. This is why you see the words “No DSS” on many
adverts
for flats.
So why don’t I move into a council flat? I’d love
to and I
am on the waiting list, but I’m a long way down on a very
long
list. The few remaining council houses that haven’t been sold
off
to other companies are in hot demand, and I’ve got no chance
of
moving into one unless I have a care plan. And I can’t have
that
because there is a shortage of CPNs at the moments to draw up a care
plan for me.
The only places available are rented rooms, and I certainly
don’t
want to go from a flat back to a room because I like my own space.
Also, I’ve accumulated many things since I’ve moved
into
the flat and would have to get rid of them if I moved back into a room.
Another problem with living with other people is that you have to share
a lot of essential facilities with each other, which can often be a
source of great stress and conflict. The problems can range from people
being in the way when I’m trying to cook, the washing up not
being done, food being stolen, lots of unwelcome noise, and blame for
things I had nothing to do with. These are all problems that I have
experienced in shared accommodation and are not things I want to go
through when I’m trying to cope with my mental illness.
I don’t smoke, I rarely drink alcohol, I wouldn’t
trash the
property, I’d keep the place clean and tidy and would try my
very
best to get on with the neighbours. If these landlords could only
realise what an ideal tenant I would be, they
wouldn’t be
so quick in turning me away.
Why “User Groups” Fail
by
Tony Rickman
One thing I have noticed during my
time in the mental health system is
the number of “users groups” set up to look at ways
in
which the mental health system can be improved. This is a good idea in
principle but the reality is that, despite these surveys and
committees, very little change occurs as a result of them. As a result
of this there have been many people who have become disillusioned with
them.
What we need to look at is why these groups are failing to get results.
For me it boils down to one simple truth: they ask the wrong questions.
It’s no good just going up to a service user and saying,
“What do you want?” Well personally I’d
like a
million pounds, a mansion and a brand spanking new top of the range
computer but the odds of them giving me any of those things are very
remote.
Seriously though, requests that are of a more reasonable nature (e.g.
more CPNs, more day centres, new facilities at treatment centres, etc)
are often not put into action because there isn’t enough
money to
grant these wishes.
There is also the problem that some individuals (and I must stress that
they are in the minority) join these groups with their own vendettas
and scores to settle. These kind of people are not interested in
improving the services for the people in it, they just want to
“get one over” on the mental health system. This
approach
is neither productive nor welcome and misses the point of the groups
completely.
So is there a way forward? Well… possibly. Government
funding
will most likely never be sufficient to grant the requests of service
users unless something else is taken away or scaled down in the mental
health system. Representatives from the local authorities could sit
down with the service users and show them what services the authority
currently provides. Then the service users could indicate what services
they want more of and what services they don’t see as the
priority.
Yet even this system has serious flaws. There’s a heck of a
lot
of information to digest before you even start giving feedback. Also,
while people in the mental health system are nowhere near as stupid as
some people like to think they are, the odds are that most of them
would not have management qualifications and may have no concept of how
an organisation works. Also, if you start closing some projects down in
order to give more funding to others, then there is legislation
relating to redundancy to contend with as well.
What I will say in defence of the groups however is that they may have
some limited amount of effectiveness in improving one or two procedures
in the mental health system, but if you expect them to make significant
changes to the local and national services available, then
I’m
afraid you’re in for a big disappointment.
Tranquillised
Tim
We’ll be doing things a little different this issue. While I
enjoy making personal observations on the state of the mental health
system, I feel that it’s time I provided a friendly ear and
words
of wisdom to the people within the system. Which is why, this time, I
want to be known simply as…
Uncle Tim
Dear Uncle Tim
I
can’t keep my voices quiet when I’m trying to watch
Coronation Street. What do you suggest?
Frustrated
of Farnborough
Uncle Tim says:
I sympathise with your predicament, but there are
solutions. Simply locate the volume control on the right side of your
neck and turn the volume of your voices down that way. Failing that,
turn the television up so loud that it drowns out both your voices and
the complaints of your neighbours.
Dear Uncle Tim
My
anti-depressants prevent me from “performing”
adequately in the bedroom. Please help me, it’s putting a
terrible strain on my relationship with my wife.
Impotent
of Ipswich
Uncle Tim says: I
understand how frustrating and embarrassing
your problem can be, and you’ll be pleased to know that you
are
not alone in this, it’s a very common problem. There are two
possible solutions to your problem. 1) Try and encourage your wife to
have cosmetic surgery so that she looks more attractive to you. If that
fails try 2) Viagra
Dear
Uncle Tim
My split-personality is making life very difficult for me, both
personalities living inside of me fighting for dominance. What do you
suggest?
Peturbed of Peterborough
Uncle Tim says: There is no reason why both personalities
should
continue to fight for dominance when there are diplomatic ways of
sorting the problem out. Simply sit down with a United Nations
ambassador and try and work out a settlement between the two
conflicting personalities. Then try and work out a rota system so that
one personality comes out in the morning, while the other comes out in
the evening. Remember: negotiation is the key.
Dear Uncle Tim
I hear funny noises on my phone everytime I go to use it. My friends
think I’m paranoid but I’m sure that the government
are
listening in on my phone calls. What do you suggest I do to stop them?
Anxious of Aberdeen
Uncle Tim says:
Don’t be so silly! It’s not the government
that are causing problems with your phone, it’s ALIENS! Yes,
little green men (very little in fact) are living inside your telephone
receiver. The reason you’re hearing funny noises is that
they’re throwing a party to commemorate their decision to
invade
Earth. The reason your friends are trying to make you believe
you’re paranoid, is that they’re aliens too and in
on the
invasion plan.
Letters
To The Editor(s)
Hi folks!
Greetings from a fellow eccentric!
I can identify particularly with Tony's article about 'moving on' [in
Issue 3] as I am about to start work after three years getting over my
latest episode of depression and getting my social anxiety into an arm
lock for a change. I agree with Tony that there's no point in getting
the horse to water then letting it drown rather than drink at its own
pace, good one! One of my triggers is life-changing events and at the
moment there are a lot happening for me. I have therefore been
resisting the suggestion that it's time
for me to be discharged from day services now that I have got a job.
One huge life change on the horizon folks! I'm not looking for trouble,
it's just that 30 years experience can't be ignored. I need support to
be there even if I don't use it, and discharging me now would be
psychiatric disaster in the making. I only go to exercise groups but I
have found that exercise is the one thing that will stabilise my mood,
so it makes sense to keep going at least for a few months. It's hard to
make people who have never been where we are realise that we do want to
live out in the real world, we don't want to be 'institutionalised',
but we need graded discharge.
Support to learn how to go to the gym, in my case. What to do in a
locker room, how to stop thinking that everyone is looking at me and I
don't fit in. The Befriending service is brilliant but most people I
speak to have never heard of it, so why aren't staff telling them?
Leaving your source of support is a kind of loss, because a lot of us
have been there from the time when we were very ill and we have made
lots of friends. It's a bit like leaving for College I suppose,
positive but terrifying when it's the first time you've been on your
own in the world. I'd like to see some kind of support group offered
that prepares people for discharge, gives them the chance to air their
concerns and gain skills to help them get on with their lives.
All the best
Anonymous
Tony says: Thanks
for your message, it was nice to hear your
views. I know first-hand that returning to paid employment can be a
very nerve-wracking experience and agree wholeheartedly that the mental
health system’s responsibility towards people like us
doesn’t end there. I’m pleased to report that
returning to
full-time paid employment has worked out very well for me and I hope
you have similar good fortune.
It’s always nice to hear readers’
comments, whether
they agree or disagree with what we’ve been saying.
If you
have any opinions you want to share with us then send them to us via
the contact details below.
About
The Eccentric Times
The Eccentric Times is a quarterly magazine written by the members of
Wings Support Centre, a social support centre in Aylesbury for people
with mental health problems.
The following people helped make this magazine possible:
Paul
Nelson
Co-Editor
Tony
Rickman
Co-Editor
Danya
Day
Chief Tea Lady
Adam
Makeham
Senior Elvis Consultant
We would also like to thank Buckinghamshire Mind, (especially
Carolyn Smyth), for their invaluable help with printing and
distribution.
Comments
& Complaints
If you wish to contact us you can do at the following address:
The Eccentric Times
Bucks Mind (Wings)
4 Temple Street
Aylesbury
HP20 2RQ
E-mail: [email protected]
We may even
include your letter in our next issue, but please note that
letters may be edite for the sake of space and clarity. Please can you
also mention where you saw the magazine.
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We love you
Danya
