And the Seniors did come. They took Epworth Oaks by storm. Their leader, General Dickey, planned his strategy well, and soon the entire camp was at the hands of these young upstarts.
The last week of camp took its toll on the Leadership Team. The Charleston Twins were the first to go. In an unfortunate accident during the first day�s outdoor recreation activities, Chuck Charleston was steamrolled by the Earth Ball. Jim Charleston suffered an untimely death when he followed Matt Connolly�s example and tried to adorn his head with a bunk bed. Alas, the efforts of eight male counselors, one head counselor, and one director of the camp were unsuccessful in freeing Jim�s head. He died of broken ears and strangulation.
Claudia had a particularly difficult time trying to keep her sanity that week �
her sisters
Smellen and Caroseen
(We see a small room with cinderblock walls where the counselors store supplies and have their mailboxes. SMELLEN and CAROSEEN O'WESLEY are busy at work.)
SMELLEN: Claudia�s so hateful, making us work so hard. I�ve made nametags until I�m blue in the face. Why on earth do we need so many? She needs to get a clue.
CAROSEEN: Well, you know what she�s making me do? She�s making me clean bubblegum and Reeses Pieces off the floor! How degrading!
CLAUDIA: (Enters and slaps both girls.) Too bad about that. Now get back to work, Smellen and Caroseen O�Wesley! Get back to work, both of you! (She leaves.)
CAROSEEN: It�s terrible to have such a mean sister!
(SMELLEN and CAROSEEN exit with appalled looks. Then FRANK BUTLER enters with DING DONG WATLING. DING DONG is dressed in glitzy summer attire that is tacky, tacky, tacky.)
Ding Dong Watling
DING DONG: (Looking around) This is where you work? Here in this tiny room?
FRANK: Well, this is where I do some of my work, yes.
DING DONG: Well, I must admit, I�ve done my work in even smaller rooms than this. (She winks.) You know what I mean? (She laughs, and FRANK joins in.)
CLAUDIA: (Returning) Of all the nerve, Frank Butler! What makes you think we allow her kind here? Afterall, this is a church camp.
FRANK: Oh, hello, Claud. I�d like you to meet Miss Ding Dong Watling. Miss Watling, this is Claud.
DING DONG: (Gushing) Pleased to make your acquaintance, I�m sure.
(CLAUDIA gives DING DONG an indignant scowl.)
FRANK: (To CLAUDIA) We�re off to the dining hall for another splendid Epworth Oaks lunch. (To DING DONG) Just wait until you taste the food, Ding Dong Baby. It�s out of this world.
(CLAUDIA pushes FRANK aside and begins making preparations for the day at camp.)
FRANK: By the way, Claudie � How are you bearing up under all this pressure? The last week of camp can be pretty rough. But look at me. (Gesturing toward DING DONG) I haven�t a care in the world.
CLAUDIA: (Disgusted) You�re a conceited, black-hearted varmit, Frank Butler. Take your conehead floozie and get out!
(FRANK and DING DONG exit laughing.)
ASHLEY: (Enters) Good morning, Claud.
CLAUDIA: (Relieved) Oh, Ashley, I�m so glad you�re here. (Amorously) I need all the comfort I can get at a time like this. I love you so.
ASHLEY: I didn�t come here to listen to you sing �Almost Paradise,� Claud. I came to ask you a favor.
CLAUDIA: (Brightens) Oh, Ashley, you know I�d do anything for you!
ASHLEY: (Bringing MELANIE in from outside) Would you look after Melanie for me? She�s not feeling well today.
CLAUDIA: (Aside) Well, almost anything. (To FRANK) Oh, all right. I�ll take care of her. Where are you going?
ASHLEY: (Leaving) I think I�ll go pick some shells off the wall.
CLAUDIA: (Exasperated once again) Fine! Well good! I have all this work to do, and he goes off to pick shells!
