You Can Be In A Segment Contest/Razz of The Century

So here's how it works.  Apparently the government is monitoring all of us.  See, apparently the government.... Or somebody.... they monitor all the TV sets, 24 hours a day.  Somehow they do this electronically, and they know who's watching what.  I don't know how they do it but they do it.  Some sort of signal through the cable or something like that.  So here's the deal.  Apparently The Comedy Network is gonna be getting stats on that kind of stuff.  They are gonna look at those stats, at the viewer response line, and at letters they receive.  They are gonna take all that information and then decide if we get to do more shows.  If they do decide on giving us more shows, then we'll probably start taping segments again in April.  So they are gonna be deciding soon.  So here's this razz that I was thinking about, and obviously you only have to do it if you feel like helping us out... or if you feel like getting on the show.  But we need your help.  See the razz is pretty easy to accomplish... and it will be kind of fun to see if it works.  Here's the razz...  It's called turn all the TV's in Canada on to The Comedy Network on Fridays at 11p.m...  I mean every television in Canada that gets the Comedy Network...  The razz will be that even people who hate our show, even those big stupid dummies that dislike our show, we will try to get them and everyone else to change to The Comedy Network at 11 on fridays....  See this is just a razz....  It could be fun to see if our web site razz actually impacts ratings.  It could also help ensure the life of this show, and enable Glenn, Derek, Phil, and myself to continue acting silly on TV for another year or so.

So here's how it works... It's like a chain letter.  Or a Faberge Organic shampoo commercial.... See when I get of the internet, I'm gonna call a whole bunch of people and tell them about this razz...  I'm gonna tell them to call a bunch of people, who will also be told to call a bunch of people.... And so on, and so on, and so on....  The goal is to get people to turn the TV's on precisely at 11 on Fridays to The Comedy Network...  They only have to do it for the next couple of weeks, after that... if they hate the show and think it sucks... Then they're allowed to stop....

So we get all our friends, and all of their friends, and all of our relatives and all of their relatives to tune in...  Not because we like the show... But because we are all charitable, and compassionate people who want to see Tom and Glenn continue working... We get on the phone and "trick" others into watching... We also get those who like the show to let The Comedy Network know about it by phoning them... But here's the good part... See they don't even have to watch our crap... They just have to turn the TV to The Comedy Network for that half an hour per week...  This will register electronically as a viewer in the ratings... 

That's the glory!  They don't have to watch...  If they want to read, or eat chips, or kiss their partner, they can just turn the sound down really low on the TV.... Just make sure, Fridays at 11 it is on The Comedy Network...

Hopefully they'll watch... But we'll take what we can get.

See I don't think a lot of people even know that we're on The Comedy Network yet.  We've only been airing for about four weeks now.  I'm noticing that many people still think the show is just on Rogers.  Everyone who comes to the web site usually knows, but on the street it's different.  Not everybody knows....

I think we can monitor our little game on the message board here....  We'll all post on the message board names of people that we tricked into watching our show...  Whoever has the most names wins the contest... Then we'll do a segment about that person.... We'll call that person.... The Ratings Razzer, in the segment we will explain to our audience how he or she convinced so many people to watch our crappie TV show....  We will look at The Ratings Razzers methods, we will look at his or her techniques...  Let's make the contest last one month....  Or until the end of this month... By April fools day, whoever has converted the most suckers into watching our crap wins the contest and we'll make a Segment about you, and you will be called The Ratings Razzer.... Perhaps we can also focus a bit of our documentary on first and second positions....  This could go down as the Broadcast Scam of the Century!!!!

I'm serious about this, it could be a funny segment too so we will definitely do it....  Get those TV's turned on... And post your results... The winners result will have to be verified with phone numbers and names so we can put all of the TV Turner On People in the Segment as well...  I haven't quite hashed out all the rules yet... But we'll do that together on the message board over the next two or three weeks...  The contest starts today... On your mark, get set, go.... and thanks.

Speaking of razzing.  Looks like several razzers have had some great luck with The Camilla Scott phone line.  I've received many email from people who have successfully convinced The Camilla Scott people to let them in to the show... For a razz, if you are a person that razzed a ticket, wear a stinky white sport sock tied around your left arm when you go to the show... This will separate you from all the "normals" that got their tickets the way everyone else did...  Get in to that show with a stinky white sport sock tied around your left arm.... It will be hilarious...  I'm interested to see how well everyone does... I think it would be funny if people who had seats already booked, didn't get in.... Like they got bumped from their spots by the razzers....  Now that would be comedy!  Audience filled with stinky sweat sock on left arm wearers, bumps legit audience from their seats...  I know that you can get in if you try.... I know that I could... It can't be any harder than getting in to a movie or a hockey game.... Can it?  I don't know...

Here's the number Stinky Sweat Sock wearers....

1-416-299-2250.... Or 1-416-299-2383

I'm sure they will be able to accommodate you all, they'll be happy for the big crowd and probably pull out some extra seats or something.... TV shows love big rowdy crowds.... Big Stinky Sweat Sock wearin crowds.... They'll let you in.... I'm sure of it.

See ya tomorrow.

Tom

PS... You probably noticed I found the font size button on my page composer, cool eh... I'm getting better at this computer stuff.