I think that there is a conspiracy out there to make my life completely insane.  I think there is some supreme power trying to mentally screw me up.  In fact, I'm not even sure if I should post what I'm about to say... because it is insane.  Insane to the point of it sounding unrealistic.  And I don't want people to accuse me of making shit up on these pages.

The fact of the matter is a few things happened to me today that don't make any sense.

As you may be aware, I just got my computer.  I have only really been on the internet for about 2 weeks.  I have had an e-mail address for a year or so, but Glenn set that up for me.  I didn't have a computer so it wasn't really of much use.  (My new e-mail is -  [email protected])   Anyway, the point is that I have been only on the internet for about two weeks really.

So maybe all you internet veterans remember what your first couple of weeks of surfing was like.  You look at all sorts of weird stuff.  I've been checking out all the comedy show sites, I've been looking at the newsgroups...  I found some weird pictures of these burn victims....  I found all these insane pictures of carcrashes, dead people, celebrities, and yes.... I chanced upon the porn...   What the hell is happening to this world?  This much porn, so easily accessible to anyone.  I'm suprised now when I see 16 year old boys on the street...  I say to them,  "What are you guys doing out here on the street?  Shouldn't you be at home wacking to the internet?  Why are you kids not wacking?  Why are you not wacking!"

When I was 16 we didn't have an internet...  If we had an internet I would be a seriously changed person.  I would have never left the house.  I mean, I'm the kid that ran home from school to check if the Sears catalouge had arrived in the mail.  I ran the water in the bathroom.  I had a nervous breakdown when I found a soggy Penthouse in the woods near my house.  When I was 16, I was always wacking...  I'm still always wacking!  I still have that soggy Penthouse!  I am always wacking!

So here is the insanity that none of you will believe.  I went out with a girl once for six years.  Six years we went out for, from when I was 19 till I was 24.  We went out off and on for 6 years.  That is a pretty big chunk of baggage kicking around in your brain.  I haven't spoken to her in a year now.  I hear that she is getting married.  Today I found a picture of her on the internet, naked.  And this is the insanity... it wasn't some home shot picture, this was a professionally shot piece of porn.  This was shot in a studio with proffessional lighting.  This picture was obviously published..  Now, to her credit, the picture was not horrificly smutty, but she is topless... standing infront of some filthy, greasy, stinky photographer.  This photographer who was taking her picture obviously stunk.  I would think that most pornographic photographers must stink of something...

Anyway, I am in shock.  And I wasn't going to post this because I figured nobody would believe it.  I also didn't want you to know that I looked at porn on the net...  I didn't want you to think that I was smutty.  It is an unbelievable story that sounds to crazy to be true.  But it is.  It is an insane coincidence...  I don't spend my entire day flipping through pornography....  (Only about half of it)  So why, when I have been on the internet for only two weeks, and have only surfed around on the net four or five times....  Why out of the millions of pictures on the net, how is it possible that I should stumble upon a pornographic shot of my ex-girlfriend.  It's not like she did a lot of porn!  She isn't exactly what I would call Captain Porn.

So I'm not looking much, and she isn't Captian Porn.  So then why did these two things collide?  I didn't want to see this. Obviously there is some greater power trying to drive me insane.  Obviously, in this very important week to me, the week of my national TV debut.... there is some greater power trying to fuck up my mind.  Because I know in my mind, that what I am telling you is in fact... not possible.  It is not possible that this could happen....  But it did.
 
I stared at the picture for about ten minutes.  I could not believe what I was looking at.  I saved it on my hard drive, and I sent it to Glenn Humplik...  I sent it to Derek Harvie.  I needed them to tell me that it didn't look like her, that it wasn't her.  I believe Derek's first words were "Oh my god!"  It is definitely her.  I remember at one point while she and I had been going out, we fought, and we broke up.  We broke up for almost a full year.  When we got back together she mentioned that she had done some photos for some calender.  She never showed me the photos, and was apparently a little embarrased about this secret she had.  So I never saw them...  I'm assuming this photo I found is from that calendar.  I'm assuming somebody scanned it into a newsgroup.  I'm assuming that she doesn't even know it's on the net.
 
I actually saved the picture, but I decided out of respect that I would not post it... At least not without her permission...  and oh yeah... we don't talk.

So enough about that insanity, it's too crazy... and not really that important.  But this is my diary, and I will talk about what's on my mind okay... cool.

I also was also interviewed today for about an hour by a Toronto Star newspaper reporter.  We talked all about the history of the show, and what the show is about, what it's like...  I'll make sure I let everybody know when the article will be published.  Last night I edited until seven a.m.  I completed the rough cut of our seventh episode.  I'm pretty excited about it, some of the shows that will be airing in the mid season are going to be pretty crazy.  I think we are gonna hold back on some of our best stuff in the first few episodes.  We want people to be able to figure out where the show is airing, and at what time, before some of our favorites air.  Don't get me wrong, I think all the stuff is strong... I just have a few personal favorite bits that I want to make sure everyone gets too see.

Im going crazy, I think I'm gonna go make dinner.

See ya tommorow

Tom.