Hey,

I just woke up.  Last night I edited until 6:30 a.m.  The hilarious thing about my diary this week is that I haven't really physically done too much.  Last night I just sat in a dark room and edited.  I guess I can tell you a bit about the show.  This was the sixth rough cut that we've completed...  It is a pretty weird show.  We kick a guy out of the audience because he made fun of us... and i had a bit of a nervous breakdown during the interview... a real nervous breakdown.

See we hired this make-up artist for this episode.  She was supposed to make me look like an old man.  We paid her $250.00 to make me look like an old man in the studio.  The joke really becomes the fact that the make-up job was shitty.  I didn't really look like an old man.  I looked a bit more like a burn victim.  Basically she just glued tissue paper all over my face and put some white shit in my hair.  She also added some extra grey hairs to my goatee and my eyebrows.  But it's funny to me, because when I watch the show I don't look like an old man... I just look like I have shit all over my face.

We actually relized this before we went on air... But nobody said anything.  We didn't really want to offend the lady who did the make-up.  I talked to Derek and Glenn right before the show started, and we all kind of figured that a grey haired burn-victim was probably just as funny as an old man...  Actually it's definitely weirder than if the make-up had looked perfect.

I guess I won't give you any more details about the show... I don't want to give away any of the jokes...  Plus I want you to tune in.  On the technical side of things, this is really getting busy.

I just found out a few minutes ago that The Comedy Network needs our first two fully completed shows by Friday.  That's pretty crazy for us.  We only have one completely finished right now and we still have to put the credit roll, and closed captioning in it.  That actually takes a long time.  The second show that is near completion is in audio post production...  It also needs the credits and captioning inserted.

So I have to go back in today at 6:00p.m. to edit again.  Looks like we're gonna have to pull a fourteen hour edit session.  I should be crawling out of that dark room tommorow around 8:oo am.  And people wonder why I'm going insane.

Humplik got this hilarious e-mail.  A guy on the web here had sent a message to CBC asking them why they decided not to pick up our show.  (We did a pilot on CBC about a year and a half ago)  The CBC lady e-mailed this guy back and told him that it was "Tom Green's decision not to continue on the CBC"  and as far as she knew it was not some "Bigwig" decision.

I found it funny that the CBC blatantly lied to this viewer about the CBC  decision to not pick up our show.  It was totally a Big Wig decision..  The big-wig didn't like it.  See the thing about this show, is it isn't always easy convincing Broadcasters that what we do is good.  Broadcasters are all journalists, TV journalists.  They all have that background...  And they're usually pretty old and set in their ways.  They analyze a comedy show as if it's an episode of The Fifth Estate.  If it doesn't make enough sense, if it isn't edited together in a logical and predictable order, then in the broadcasters opinion it isn't funny.  I think the CBC might have found it too weird, or silly.  The show didn't make enough logical sense to them.  And the big wigs will attack your show with these big words, like "sophomoric".  Like that is supposed to be offensive to you...  I mean in my mind that is less of a problem than it is a goal.  SOPHOMORIC!  This comedy show is too sophomoric.  That to me is a really funny statement.  That's almost like attacking a nightly news broadcast because it contains too much information.  It's comedy, it's supposed to be stupid...  Let's get off this intelligent humor high horse for a second....  It is supposed to be sophomoric!  So they dropped it, and it was a big wig decision...  Anyway, I'm bitter.... but I found it funny that they are lying to people about dropping us...  I wonder why they are doing that now?

Another crazy thing that happened...  You may have heard about Tom Green Land.  We built a theme park in Mexico a few months ago.  It's in the middle of the desert hidden behind a rock.  It is surrounded by cactuses.  Anyway, at the theme park there is a sign that has this web address on it. (www.tomgreen.com)  We figured that we would never hear about our park again, but I just noticed a message on our message board here.  It's from Joe in Catavina B.C.  (BC actually stands for Baja California, which is the state of Mexico where we built the theme park...  So we have had our first visitor.

Actually I feel kind of bad, we've been so busy putting the show together that we haven't updated the Tom Green Land portion of this site.  We now have pictures of the real Tom Green Land, in the desert just after it was built.  Ray Derek and myself built it.  I think I will get Glenn to post that stuff so you can check it out...  I just have to find some time to get over to his house with the pics.  I think there is a newspaper article by Tralee Pierce from The Ottawa Sun about the theme park....  I think it is actually posted on this site if you want to check that out for now.

I guess that's about it for today...  Oh yeah... My girlfriend and I we got in this huge fight.  She's furious that I mentioned how she was mad at me in my last couple of entries.  She's really pissed off with me, because she doesn't want people reading this stuff and thinking that she is a meanie.  She told me to say in my diary that she isn't mad at me anymore.  She is furious about this diary thing.  She is horrified, she yells and screams at me about it constantly!  I'm not sure what I should do.  I mean, this is my personal diary, if my girlfriend is mad at me I have to write that down.  What kind of person wouldn't mention his girlfriend being mad at him in his own diary.  I have to be honest.  (ring... ring)  Weird...  My phone just rang...  I'm actually on the phone with my girlfriend right now  I am completely serious she just phoned me right now, from her work.  I am in the middle of righting this paragraph about her and she has phoned me!  I think she knows what I'm doing....  She is telling me not to right about her anymore.  She is saying that the whole world is reading this.  She is saying that I am only writing negative things...  Now she's getting mad because she knows that I'm typing this into the computer... I am reading to her on the phone right now the words that I am typing... She is yelling that it doesn't make sense to anybody... "C'mon!  Don't do that!  You are going to get me really mad...  Okay can you just stop typing for a second... I can't take it anymore... please don't.... You're making me out to be.... Ok I'm not talking anymore.... don't don't....Why don't you let me put my own personal message on there!"

Tom replies:  There is a message board if you want to post something
Sue:  What do you think I am
Tom:  Post a message if you want too
Sue:  Excuse me!  I'm gonna hang up!  You're mean.....  Can I say something without you typing please...
Tom:  Sure
Sue:  Okay good
Tom:  Well what did you want to say
Sue:  Your still typing honey!  When I read this on the Internet I am going to be burning mad!
Tom:  Ahh c'mon it's funny.
Sue:  Enough is enough stop typing.
Tom:  Okay I'll stop for now.

When she reads this I'm dead.

Later.
Tom