my advice to you
-put movie seats down with your hands instead of just sitting down they do break
-never call 911 and hang up, they will call back
-dont ask bums to watch your balls, they dont seem very happy, its not like they will be going anywhere
-think before you run, you will end up regretting it
-be careful eatting zuchinnie, your mom will bitch at you if u drop it and laugh
-dont go into public bathrooms, you will hear thiings you never wanna hear again
-dont get smorez stuck in your teeth, you'll get made fun of for having a 'black hole' for the rest of your life
-dont throw a soda can into a fire, they blow up
-dont yell at people in bowling alley parking lots, they'll ask you to suck their nuts
-before goign to bed, make sure there are no bats in your house, its pretty scary
-dont jump out of your window in a bath robe for extra padding
-when stores say you cant come in without shoes, dont put on pads with wings as sandals
-dont lay in your backyard under a tarp in a lightning storm, waiting for the hair on someones head to stand up
-dont snort pixie stix, it burns
-save the chipmunks from group sex[look at pics page]
-if you are pretending to be trailer trash, dont get your picture taken with money in your hands
-dont sit outside late at night if you live in town, you'll be stalked
-if you have a 3 wheeled bike a fence isnt going to keep it from getting stolen
-if you are walking the streets and have a really ugly stalker, run
-dont walk the streets at 1 in the mornin, its really scary
-if you are a male, dont eat foot long hotdogs, its just wrong
-men eaing bananas on a stick just aint right either
-if you really want to steal golf balls, put them in your socks
-drive around town with a cowbell, it attracts alot of attention
-when at a car dealership, make sure you're looking at the cars that are for sale and not the cars of the people who work there.
-dont stand people up numerous times
-dont go around football games trying to get frisked by the cops
-dont spit on the other teams cheerleaders
-dont moon people when planting flowers at school
-dont shake your ass for the principle, he will enjoy it!
-hit preps with the volleyball in gym class
-keep a firm hold of your hockey stick in gym class
-be sure to stay in your 'door' while playing basketball
-grow like flowers!
-perm rods are not the same as sperm rods
-if your blow up doll cheats on you... POP THEM!(sorry blow up bob george, but you deserved it!
-contraction farting mean ur gonna pooopp soon [thx for that one sam]
-dont talk bad about someone if their sister's boyfriend is in the class
-dont eat too many bannanas they will constipate you [thanks for that advice mom]
-when wanting to know if your significant other is cheating, put a tepe recorder in their car [thanks dad]
-want to find out if you're parents are snoops? hide flour. pretend its drugs
-dont spill green paint on your favorite pants...and the table... and the carpet
-dont ever do a commercial on abuse, you'll go insane
-dont look at naked pictures of people online, at school [it was an accident!]
-dont hide something under something that is transparent (can ya see it can ya see it, lol)