The BRAND NEW Quote Page like the old quote page with half the fat and calories By now everyone who knows about this page knows about the quote page....and everyone also knows that it has become freaking' huge! So I have left the old quotes [freshman and sophomore years] in THE QUOTE PAGE ARCHIVE here. So without further ado, if you think of this as ado, here are the new quotes!!

Junior Year Quotes!!! WHOO HOO!!!

"We used to armadillo hunting at home with mag lights and baseball bats."-Matt

"Ye ever gone squirrel fishin'??"-Privett

"Gilbert worked for the USGS for, good lord, 150 years..."-Dr.P "Give em inch, they take a foot, give em a foot, they take a yard, give a yard, they want to put a pool in it."-Dr. P.

"Here's an outcrap...er outcrop."-Dr. Major

"I have the older version of this book, the Miocene version."-Dr.P

"That's why the engineers love em they like to Xerox."-Dr.P

"You throw the brunton across the quad you'll lose points for attitude. If you catch it on the other side you'll get Brownie points for running across the quad."

"If you miss a test I will give you whatever the monkey would have gotten."-Dr. Sufka "One absence will cast you into eternal perdition."-Dr. Klein

"Come on, Seal is so bored he is doing the damn crossword puzzle!!"

"What a man, my God what hunger."-Dr. Klein

"Damn that anal probe again."

"Frenchie's got the Freshamaker!!"-Francois

"I'm not being his little slide projection Monkey Boy today...."-Andy

"Even during floods you can see these effects not just on monasteries but on other things like..."-Dr.P "Bars?"-Matt "And road cuts and bordellos..."-Dr. P "Paco help me beat up this monastery."

"You don't want to mess with a black belt in whup ass"-Frank

"I'm giving a quiz because I don't know what else to do today."- Dr. P "WHAT?" all of us "I have a suggestion, you can give a lecture like you do EVERY day."-Me "Very good, you get extra points for being awake."-Dr. P "Oil."-Dr. Major "Black gold, Texas T"- Me "Blue cheese."-Fred

"Bob Folk remains eccentric and nutty as a bed bug but productive to this day."-Dr. Major

"Lacustrine....."Dr. Major "Equestrian?"-Me "Giddy up you sand stone!"-Fred "I think I found a pancreas."-Jason

What kind of crappy sno globe is this."

"My dad drives an anti-Chrysler."-Townsend

"We're almost done with Daisy, we'll kill her off today and go on to our next victim."-Dr. Barker

"I didn't pick this out to single out anybody, or Jessie....."-Dr. P

"It's a full 12 inches long!!"-Me

"Hoo diddly cha cha boy."-Andy

"That's why Julie wrote in to the paper about the temperature. It's killin' the weed man."-Rebecca

"I can cash in before I have to use metric."

"I've got to go home I've got an appointment."-Jonathan "Mamas goin' on parole!"-Matt

"Me gustan juevos verdes y jamon."-Julia

"Not a big one, just a little atomic bomb."Dr. Major

"Well I guess it doesn't matter I get paid the same whether I'm a good teacher or a bad teacher."-Dr. Sufka

"Alpha Gamma co activation, that sounds like something you do on the Rush weekend."-Dr. Sufka "Come on Sean we're having kids...."-Dr. Sufka

I was fixin' to go Tojo Yamomoto on his ass."-Andy

"Did you see Saving Ryans Privates?"-Fred "No I was watching Jacob's Staff."-Joe

"She's got the clap, she walks by and lights turn on and off."-Homey "Te gusta jugar el fuego?"-some guy is mi clase de espano

"I would have had a lecture prepared but Folk called."-Dr. Major

"Girls come up to me and ask me what fraternity I am in and I say Phi Jamma Slamma!!!"-Stan

"Girls come up to me and ask me what fraternity I am in and I say Smegma Masta Beta!!"-Jason

"I must be a bus driver because I am taking you to school."-Denver

"Gay people are very friendly."-Mom "Would you say they are sweet mom?"-Me

"Like sands through the hourglass these are the days of our lives."-Jason "To genocide!"-Stan

"Andy do you think you could beat up someone with those crutches?"-Me "Oh yeah, it's like having 8 foot arms. I could whup Mike Tysons ass with these crutches."-Andy

"In West Texas if you tiddly bop onto someone's land without permission you'll be met with a firearm"-Dr. Major

"You should hold class at a bar, you could teach and fix drinks at the same time."-Matt

"What's the benefit of having red hair? It's horrible camouflage! It's a genetic abnormality!"-Jason

"It must be the water I am getting out at Quail Creek, it's affecting the language portion of my brain."-Dr. Sufka "I woke up a stratigrapher last night."-Matt "they'd still be partying with scuba gear on down in New Orleans."-Matt "I'd get more work done if it wasn't for you damn students."-Dr.P

"A public access channel had a naked guy in clown makeup masturbating and he got off....wait that's not what I meant I meant he got away."-Jonathan "Girl you just don't realize what you do to me."-Michael "You really don't."

"....as fast as material is being eroded off the Black Mountains..." "Why the mountains gotta be black?"-Andy

"Everything is Death Valley."-Me

"It's close to Halloween Dr. P we'll let you play Dr. Brunton today."-Jonathan

"Dating...."-Dr. Major "He's going to talk about dating!!"-Rebecca "radiometric decay..."-Dr. Major

"I throwing parties in New Orleans wearing scuba gear."-Matt "It's a f-ing enzyme!!"-Denver

"The reason Ethiopians are thin is because they don't eat!."-Jason

"I am a delicate flower with Southern virtues."-Michael P.

"Got to get the Zena postcards!!"-Mike P.

"Removal of several hundred groins in one fell swoop...."-Dr. P

"Jessie's house is right here, his bitch, his beach is moving down here. He can build a groin."-Dr. P

"The tropics are a good example of Karst gone wild!"-Dr. P

"Did everyone spend the weekend working on the petroleum project?"-Dr. Major "I drilled for oil but I struck beer!"-Matt "What happens if you stand in Galveston today, for a million years? Sea level SUBSIDES!!"-Dr. Major "Any sailors in the room?"-Dr. Major

"I told them that the ship would stop!"-Matt

"he's not as left wing as Wright, right?"-Dr. Barker

"Here's a penny for you thoughts ..." - Doug, singing rather loudly "You can't sing. Where's my penny?" - Julie Price

"You're a big fat guy!!"-Stan

"Do we have to have silverware to pray?"-Julie

"Hangovers hurt at 8,000 feet."-Julie Kelly

"I guess I can talk to you if you don't have a fungus."-Homey

"there are more people with purple hair on this campus..."-Matt

"I hate it when the westerlies are wrong."-Dr. Major

"I'm going to run naked at half time."-Matt "You should paint yourself navy blue-" Andy "I know him I know him Oh my God..."-Me "Come one, would you really be embarrassed?"-Matt

It's 9:00 and we've haven't even made it through one wedding."-Me

"Tinfoil, and you've probably heard this before in physics, when placed over windows keeps out extra terrestrials. And play doh when out into outlets keep them from going in through electrical lines."-Dr. Sufka

"Do you wash your brother well?"

"I'm an equal opportunity insulter."-Dr. Klein

"I think I'd sleep better in panties."-Stan

"We wanted to make him [my fish] think that Galactus was God and then when you took him away he'd think he lived in a Godless world."-Jason and Stan "Ok Norwegian girl..."-Me

"Generic glaciers moving down the hill...."-Dr. P "As opposed to brand name glaciers going down a hill?"-Mike "Kroger brand..."-Andy

"You have to lose one guy in a crevasse in a movie, It's in the script."-Dr. P

"Wind. And a lot of hot air is what you're going to hear today."-Dr. P

"Today is the last day of class."-Dr. P "Woohoo"-Matt "Thank you for that comment Mr. Justice your grade will reflect that accordingly, yikes, that's all I have to say."-Dr. P

"Dunes are very large..."-Dr. P "How large are they?"-Matt "you ever seen Star Wars?"-Matt "Tatooine."-Everybody

"You create what are called ventrifacts....as opposed to ventrifiction."-Dr. P "They insure that the logs are high quality logs."-Dr. Major

"The business school gets a whole week off [for Thanksgiving]. Liberal arts gets 3 days."-Dr. Sufka

"My haldol prescription ran out this weekend and the voices told me to miss your exam."-Dr. Sufka "If you are a raving Hispanic genius you will do well on this test."-Dr. Klein

"D is for diploma."-Guy in my Spanish class

"Only God knows when it is going to rain and sometimes even She isn't sure."-Dr. Klein

FLASHBACK!!!

the quotes that started it all, the last remaining HIGH SCHOOL QUOTES!!!

"His gays can pierce you."-Clint

"You don't understand the 'burbs because YOU'VE NEVER BEEN to the 'burbs!!"-Kevin

"I have to put quarters in Demeter."-Clint

"I had a friend named Toilet...."-Tony

"New students come to the office so we can facilitate your schedule."-Mr.Sexton the principal "If we go to the office they make our schedule easier for us? Color me there!!"-Me

"We also need a count of black or white or black or "other"-Mr. Sexton attempts political correctness.

"It's very hazardous to leave your car in the parking lot after 2:30, there have been some tuba scrapes."-Mr. Sexton "Dammit Hoover why isn't your hair curly today?"-Gimbel

"Jello mold such beautiful jello molds!-Hunter

"I'm a big transparent eyeball."-Hunter Dixon

"Band-age....gator-age....fole-age"-Kevin

"Rico suave bueno tambien."-Gimbs

"I've been tickled by a plump man!"-Keith

"Somebody went a little crazy, wanted to make some money, wrote a book about Christ in.....MEXICO!!!"-Kev on the book of Mormon

"No, no I'm not wearing white, you're not supposed to wear white after labor day. It's CREAM!!"-Quincy

"Hook me up with some nutty pleasures."-Bud "Are you left handed?"-Mrs. Bush "No."-Todd "Are you right handed?"-Paul

"Something sneaky and underhanded...like softball."-Me

"If you give a dog contacts will it see in color"

"That's a whole lotta fruit!"-Amy "that's one big tub of lotion!"-Hunter

"this is like math!"-Paul on physics

"Ya'll are getting to be just like me, a bunch of smart asses."-Mr. Duff

"Looks like Fred Flintstone."-Lisa on Orion

"Moo le moo! Le arf arf!"-Kev's french animal impressions

"LICK THE NUTS OTHER SIDE!!!"-Clint

"I pee'd on myself last period to get warm."-Doug

"What's self delusion?"-Brian "You thinking that you're going to go out with Kathy Ireland."-Me

"Dictator? That sounds like penis potatoes to me."-me

"I want to work at the zoo...can I feed the lions....Brody."-Brian

"I guess I'm not going to go outside and yell at all those puppies I made this weekend."-Liz

Second Semester of Junior Year Quotes

"You don't need a wok to do this."-Mom "You can do it standing still."-Dad

"Quit dropping my monkeys.....sweet!"-Todd

"There is a monkey in my hair."-Natalie

"Mo monkeys mo problems."-Jason

"Hey baby why don't you take the spectacles off and let's get jiggy."-Privett

"She's got the mange."-Homey

"They're grooming you like a monkey."-Privett

"Andy told me you were sniffing white out to stay awake."-Rebecca

"It's based on a physically observed observation."-Dr. Davidson

"If you are trying to kill yourself don't fasten your seat belt."-Privett

"I'm going to work the log flume at Dollywood."-Andy in hydrology

"What we can see is that I can make a real mess with this.'-Dr. Davidson

"Look Africa and Asia are mating."-Dr. Davidson "Well I tell ya, talking about the sexual habits of spiders really gets me going on a Friday morning."-Dr. P "It certainly got me excited."-Dr. Major

"NAD27 is the North American Datum from 1927 and NAD83 is the North American Datum of...1985."-Dr. Easson "I mean booze is a drug, right?"-Dr. Hall

"this Dr.'s not a physician, he's a godamn PHD."-Dr. Hall

"An aquitard has a water drinking problem."-Me "An aquitard has to ride the small bus to school."-Jessee "Aquitard is what I'm going to feel like after that test on Friday."-Privett "Julie is an aquitard."-Rebecca "Another violent Southern woman!"-Dr. Klein

"Every interesting phenomena occurs at the intersection of four map sheets."-Dr. Easson

"Brides don't work, they're are not very unless they are wearing really big dresses."-Dr. Easson on ground control points in Remote Sensing "C'mon this lighten up, this is not the Sunday school picnic of the First Baptist church. The deans office is over there."-Dr. Klein "Como se dice ;Alice Kelly is always right?' " -Alice Kelly

"Dead heads...do they exist anymore or are there just Phish heads....?"-Mrs. Brown

"Drink Coca Cola...use Depends."-Dr. Klein

"Money doesn't talk it screams."-Dr. Klein

"I'd like you to change your profession to plumber."-Alice Kelly "I'd like to, but I couldn't get used to having all of that money."-Dr. Klein

"The gentleman from Mississippi abstains to vote."-Mrs. Brown "I'm from Missouri."-Jason "Excuse me, the gentleman from Mo abstains to vote."

"I'm 60 and if you think I'm not interested in social security you've got another thing coming."-Dr. Klein

"Who would like an investigation on there sexual life? C'mon raise your hand."-Dr. Klein "I believe Idaho."-Dr. Easson

"The university lawyer is a pinhead. It's basically like, "I think this should be a comma not a semi-colon."-Dr. Easson

"Kind of like the Baptist church....saved once again. The deans office is around the corner."-Dr. Klein

[guy comes in late to class] "Do we want him?"-Dr. Klein "Ya!! He improves the curve!"

"Who's a political science major? No one admits it? Who's an English major in here. C'mon fess up!"-Dr. Klein

"A lot of this they explain as random noise, when they say random they mean we don't know what happened."-Dr. Easson

"43-10=10? New math here hmmmm."-Dr. Easson

"I can't read the mind of God, Dean can't, Michael might, Julie probably can...."-Dr. Klein

"Some people just shouldn't be allowed to speak in public."-Dr. Easson

FIELD CAMP QUOTES!!!

"We'll stop up there by the pink elephant."-Waverly at Upheaval Dome

"You smell like chamois."-Mike P.

"Aw damn I forgot to go ride the dinosaur."-Daryl

"He was too busy staring at her inner personality."-Bill

"Semper Gumby, always flexible."-Mike P

"He doesn't look like a freak at all."-Fred

"His liver couldn't process all of that pudding."-Bill

"It's Mormon hair."-Becca

"It's mylar, get your own lar."-Privett

"That's Kris. I guess that's how he got the Force. Damn magnetic field." Dr. Ken

"I'm professionally social."-Me

"Is Obi Wan still on the dashboard?"-Bill "No I couldn't resist playing with him."-Darth Kris

"I like that, half off of women's skirts."-Bill

"Will you roll down the window so I can dump the sand out of my shoe?"-Waverly "Anything for you Waverly."-Bill

"He's livin' la vida Jedi"-Gabe

"My house, in the middle of my knee."-Fred

"He's livin' la vida Yoda."-Me

"Arkansas isn't in California."-Waverly

"Are you afraid of the spoooooky wind?-Gabe

"Should we streak Bills talk?"-Waverly

"And they call me....."-Michael "Dr. Love??"-Me "They call me Dr. Love!"-Michael

"We don't have Gnus up North...."-Becca "North American Pygmy Gnus."-Michael

"Great sand dunes? Not SO great."-Me "More like the mediocre sand dunes."-Bill

"Ya know there is an Aerosmith ride at Disney?"-Fred "Ya that's good for the kids."-Me "Do you get to make love in an elevator?"-Waverly "Ya but it's with a dude that looks like a lady."-Bill

"Hey safety Belly...."-Waverly

"Hey safety Bunny."-Michael

"Am I supposed to eat these? Hey these are crinoids!"-Daryl

"Hey Julie your shit doesn't stink!"-Waverly

More Summer Quotes

"Hemp comes from two different kinds of plants. One makes you high and the other moisturizes."-Girl Who Works at the Body Shop

SENIOR YEAR QUOTES!!!!

"If there was a medievalist in here I'd probably die right now."-Dr. Raber

"If you try to sneak into a bar under age 21 use the improper dipthong. Remember, I make the grades in here."- Bruce

"You give a ruler absolute power and they turn into a Looney Toon."-Dr. Raber

"I was thinking of making a World War II documentary and having Al Pacino play every character."-Bruce

"Cheetahs never prosper.:-Me

"You've got a dickfour."-Terra

"For Christ sake, I want a banjo!"-Jason

"I'm going to shut the door. SHUT YOUR FACE!"-Bruce

"Why would someone want to do this? It is so irritating....Right? No, it's beautiful....check this out."-Chucha

"Bullocks, I think that s dual for obvious reasons."-Bruce

"You don't have to make it simple enough that an art major can do it."-Dr. Easson

"Oh tent! How glad I am to see you on this rainy mosquito-y night!"-Bruce

"You aint' gettin' none of Olivia, ever!"-Dr. Raber

"This is one that you can change the word order, ' a teacher am I,' though you might sound a little fruity."-Bruce

"This guy is a Duke for God's sake!!!"-Dr. Raber

"You can create a short cut for any damn thing."-Chucha

"Y2K where dogs and cats sleep together and fire fills the sky."-Michael "My dog and cat sleep together already."-Dr. E "Gross are they both boys?" "They are both "it's."-Dr. Easson

"Madame Overdone does London...that sort of idea."-Dr. Raber

"A good question is the kind I can answer."-Bruce

"We were very pleased with the exams..."-Bruce "You and your....tapeworm?"-Michael

"Ok and now for something completely different."-Dr. E

"Everybody knows Angelo is a real stick-up=the-butt sort of guy. Mr. Crude of the century."-Dr. Raber

""You're to big to sneak out."-Dr. E to Privett

"I like broads myself."-Bruce

"What happens when you find limits to empiricism? Apparently you go crazy and kill your wife."-Dr. Raber

"I can't take roll because I lost it. I'm glad you're hear and if you are not you're bad."-Dr. Raber

"Anymore questions about social security numbers?"-Dr. Easson "I don't have a two in mine does that mean they don't use twos?"-Brian "It means you don't exist."-Dr. Easson

"You know, nuns and friars and what they got up to...who knows?"-Dr. Raber

"Just use the dead sheep in the bottom of the ravine for scale."-Lance

"The Duke knew how to have a good time with the ladies."-Dr. Raber

"GIS is a good way to find out how to get to all of the bars in one night."-Dr. Easson

"Bartram is a weenie of the very first order."-Dr. Raber

"I don't rave if you BBQ an ox in here just as long as I don't hear crinkling paper."-Bruce

"Did you answer he phone when Princeton called Matt?"-Lance(about the #5 party school thing) "Ya I said.....bwaaaaaaaaaaaa!"-Matt

"You ain't my mother."-Dr. Raber

"Does everyone understand that? I'll take the blank stares as a yes."

"A ballistic missile is redundant. It's a throw throw thing."-Bruce

"Our project is on the location of bars in town and the relation to our apartment. We took into consideration the temperature of the beer, the cost, the distance between that and late night eateries...drinking the same beer where available as a control. We calculated our drunkenness in our error calculations."-Two Bio. grad students in GIS"

"I don't want my froggy ass down at the marsh"-Bruce

"I am now putting an outline on the board that I will probably then ignore."-Dr. Raber

I'm sick of all this monkeying around, take me to a REAL homepage!

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