Subject: West Side Hell by Megan XFiler Pre-XF HUMOR 4/6
Date: 24 Dec 1998 14:03:22 GMT
From: xfiles718@aol.com (XFILES718)
Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com
Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative

Title: West Side Hell
Author: Megan XFilr

stuff in part one

They walked into the cafeteria as the late-bell rang. Megan dropped her
bookbag
on the bench of the lunchroom. Jennifer threw hers underneath the white
fake-granite table. Lacey kept hers on her back and Dana held onto it
tightly,
afraid of the gum, germs and villanous-hands that might come in contact with
it.
        A large, shrill whistle screeched through the still air and the room
full of
10th graders stood to a halt. The balding 10th grade Dean, Mr. Dean
Berkowitz
was short, thin and has a severe case of scoliosis. His white turtleneck and
purple jeans with New World Order patches on him made him look like a kid
from
That 70's Show! and it wasn't good for his popularity level.
        "Nooow.....wheeen III blow this whistle...............you caaan go
OUTSIDE,"
he said, talking like a kid on heroin.
        He blew the whistle again and three-quaters of the lunch room left.
Actually,
Dana, Lacey, Megan and Jen were the only people left at the previously full
table.
        Megan took out a Mint Iced Tea Snapple Bottle and popped the cap.
Pressing the
safety pop in and out, she said, "Ohkay...we need to rule out all
possibilities
for the rest of this list."
        She laid the now slighlty crumpled piece of Squad Stationary on the
table.
"We've scratched Theo and Nelson...but we still have three more people to
huff
through."
        She pointed to the first on the list. "Jen and I can take Amanda
since we know
how to handle cockroaches like her."
        Jen nodded. "I personally have been known to spray roaches with
Fantastik so I
could watch them squirm and....hey I'm joking! Light up a little! Sarcasm.
Geez," she shook her head. "What happened to you all?"
        "Moving on," Megan said, drawing her eyes back to the sheet of
paper, "is Sam
Chorns."
        "Have I interuppted something?" Fox said as he sat down next to
Dana.
        "Not really, looking through a list," Jen said.
        "Oh yeah, Lace, I heard about that attack. My sympathies naturally,'
Fox said
showing another goofy grin.
        "Already acknowledged. We're helping Kuczynski find the idiot. You
wanna help
out?" Lacey said, flicking her black hair back again.
        "What can I do?" Fox leaned in closer and stared at the list.
        "We're surveiling the remaining three suspects. Jen and I are
getting Amanda
and we're breaking off the other ones."
        "Well, I'll take Sam. He's a friend of mine, actually," Fox said,
making a "t"
with his hands and resting his chin upon them.
        "Good, Dana, why don't you take Sam with Fox?" Jen offered.
        "Sure!" Dana said, a little too eagerly.
        "Great, Lacey, why don't you grab your brother Kyle and take Michael
Doolitlye?" Megan threw.
        "No problemo cicquita," Lacey nodded.
        "I suggest we get started right after-"
        "Miss Kuczynski? You have a phone call at the main office," Mr.
Berkowitz said
as he leaned over Megan.
        "Ah, thank you." MEgan shrugged as he walked away. She took off to
the office.
        Five minutes later she was back. "Another attack. This time, the kid
died."
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        The crime scene tape was lifted as Dana, Megan, Jen, Lacey and Fox
entered the
crime scene. Meg walked over to her dad. "And luck?"
        "Nada. Girl's name was Charlene Torrense. Hit in the head, knocked
cold,
raped, your usual rape and flee. Same trace hair...turns out we had enough
to
say it is DEFINATELY a guy," Kuczynski said, ruffling his hair. "Found face
down in a lap of blood. A hooker found her, thought she had been gyped."
        "I'll say," Jennifer said as she leaned down to see the victim.
        The blonde young girl's neck was turned at deadly angles. Her blue
eyes were
unfocused. Her nose, probably quite pretty in life, was smashed in like a
broken doll's.
        "Any clues?" Lacey asked.
        "Nothing weird or outstanding, although I wish there was," Kuczynski
said.
        "Sarge, what are these lines here?" Fox asked, pointing next to the
hand of
the body.
        "I don't know. Probably side walk decay. People like writing in
cement,"
Kuczynski said without really looking.
        "But this is in dirt. Maybe a dying plea?" Fox asked again.
        Kuczynski looked up. "Cathrine! Get the coroner over here and the
photogal!"
        A short burly coroner put on a new pair of rubber gloves and the
brunnette
taking pictures posed the flash where the coroner sat.
        "Well, there is dirt residue here under this index nail...yup...I'd
say she
scratched the dirt," Medical Examiner Fisher said.
        The flash went off and a collection of five photographs came out.
        As the pictures developed, Kuczynski handed one to his rookie, one
to Fox and
Dana, one to Jen and Meg and one to Lacey. The other he let the brunnette
take.
        "I don't know what they are...but if it helps use em. I gotta go
call you're
Mom, Meg. See you around?" Kuczynski walked away with a wave.
        "So what are these lines?" Megan asked. "Looks like lines...that's
it."
        "They are all different shapes and lengths," Jen agreed. "I think
they are
just scratches from her thrashing."
        It was actually just lines. The first set was three short lines,
then a short
and longer line,  followed by longer lines.
        "No legible words. Mean anything to you?" Dana asked Fox.
        "No. Not yet." Fox fingered his chin.
        "Well, we better get back to school. I'm gonna say bye to my dad.
Cheers,"
Megan walked away.
        As Fox and Dana walked away, Fox said "Lets start the watch tonight.
I'll pick
you up around 9 pm?"
        "Uh sure," Dana said, unknowing how her mom might react.
        "You live in the Surfiel Apartments?"
        Dana nodded.
        "See you then," Fox walked off to catch the bus to soccer practice.
        Dana looked at the picture of the lines.
        "What were you trying to say, Charlene? What were you trying to
say?"
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        Dana was curled on the sofa at her living room, reading through her
new
english text book and taking notes on the stories she was supposed to read
by
the next day. There was a ring at her doorbell.
        Her mother came from the other room to open the door. Swinging it
open, she
cocked her head to the side. "Yes?"
        "Hi, I'm...Fox Mulder....I'm a friend of Dana's," Fox said as she he
leaned on
the doorway in an overcoat, kinda big for his lanky stature.
        Maggie looked at Dana. "Dana do you know this Fox?"
        "Yeah, mom," Dana said as she got up and removed her reading
glasses.
        Her mom smiled and walked away. Dana pulled her hair out of the pony
tail. She
was in blue leggings and a ratty t-shirt. "Hi Fox," Dana smiled towards him,
showing her incisors.
        "Hey Dana...ready?" Fox was still leaning.
        "Yeah, let me grab my jacket. MOM!" she yelled. "I'M GOING FOR AN
HOUR OR SO
TO GET A BOOK FROM WALDEN's. DON'T WAIT UP FOR ME!"
        "Alright Dana!" her mom called back, probably sewing something back
together
that Missy had broken.
        Dana pulled her coat on. Fox grabbed it and helped her into it. "NO
reason for
me to be impolite."
        Dana smiled again; she found herself smiling around him a lot.
        Walking towards Fox's car, a white toyota in pretty decent
condition, she
scurried. She slid into the passenger side as Fox started up the car.
        "Next stop, the Yellow Cab bar. That's where Sam is now."
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It was nearly three hours later. Sam was sitting at a booth near the window
and
Dana has a mighty clear view of Sam's conversation with an Asian girl. Fox
chewed on sunflower seeds and a cheese danish. "Anything new from Sammy
boy?"
Fox asked, mouth full.
        "I think he's about to break the law of consent for sex, if you ask
me," Dana
said. "Is he ever going to leave?"
        She sighed and leaned back.
        "So why are you here in New York?" Fox asked her.
        "Huh? Oh, my dad works at the military base on Staten Island so
we're here
until they move him again."
        "Neat." Fox chewed more cheese danish. "Any siblings?"
        "Yeah, two older ones, Melissa and Bill Jr and a younger, Charlie."
        "Interesting."
        "What about you Fox? You never did tell me about yourself," Dana
pried as she
adjusted herself to turn to face him.
        "Nothing much," he admitted. "My dad works for the Central
Intelligence Agency
and my mom's a housewise. My sister was taken away when I was twelve and she
was eight."
        "She was kidnapped?" Dana said with horror.
        "Abducted, actually. At least that is what I think."
        "By...." Dana motioned with her hand.
        "Aliens," Fox stated blantly.
        "I see," Dana said giving him the Look.
        "Oooh, a look. I see you don't believe me. Join the line behind me.
Actually
we don't know where she is."
        "Any clues to her wereabouts?"
        "I think I need a napkin for this danish..." Fox said, looking
around him.
        "Ah, change of topic. I understand," Dana said nodding.
        Fox smiled. "Someday I might tell you. Only a few people know what I
believe
and you're not ready for it."
        Dana looked mockingly shocked. "Really?"
        "Yeah, live through a couple of fights, see a friend get shot, THEN
you can
handle it." Fox smiled again but then that look turned to a look of urgency.
"Sorry to burst your bubble on this very nice conversation but Sammy Boy has
decided that his broad wasn't his type," Fox said as he shifted the car into
reverse, then drive, and followed the red Suburu that Sam drove.
        Sam drove quite quickly and Dana was surprised that Fox could keep
up. Yet, he
didn't drive too closely.
        "I see you've done this before?" Dana asked, making sure her seat
belt was
fastened.
        "Yeah, you'd say," Fox said as he turned a corner and then slammed
to a stop.
        Once Dana had removed her head from the windshield and smoothed the
seat belt
impression in her chest, she asked Fox, "What the hell are you doing?"
        "Certainly not killing you, Dana. Actually, this is a private road
and we'd
blow our cover if we followed him up it," Fox said as peered over the
steering
wheel. "And if you ask me, Sam brought home a worker."
        Getting out of the car was a red head in a leopard mini skirt and a
shirt that
wouldn't define as underwear, except in stripes. She was about five-four,
give
or take an inch. Sam lead her inside.
        About ten minutes later, the red head left nodding. She got back in
the red
car, counted money and was about to drive off. Sam yelled through the
window.
"Remember! Theo gets half!"
        "Yeah, I know," the carrot top mumbled as she drove away.
        Dana turned to Fox. "Why'dya think of that?"
        "She has really bad taste in clothing," Fox nodded.
        "No, I mean Sam!"
        "He got really bad taste in women," Fox nodded again.
        "FO-OX!"
        "Okay, okay, sorry. Theo's worked in on this?"
        "Do horses have hooves? Dana smirked.
        "Don't get sly with me, carrot top," Fox said as he turned to drive
off.
        "I'm not. But stop asking dumb questions. You're like those idiot
dates I've
had that throught the ENTIRE movie, they ask questions that were JUST
answered;
I think they like knowing that they were right," Dana shook her head.
        "Bad dates from hell? You haven't been to New York if you didn't
have a date
to the Knick's Game," Fox said.
        "I bet," Dana said."
        "If ya ever wanna go, lemme know?" Fox smiled another lopsided grin.
        "Coulda, woulda, shoulda, lemme, wanna...your grammar is worse than
Megan's!"
Dana smiled.
        "Yeah, well, I've had more practice. English ain't Megan's first
language,"
Fox said.
        "Really?"
        "Yeah, she's Polish and German so her first languages were that,"
Fox said
matter-of-factly.
        "Neat, she really is smart?"
        "She's as smart as Jen is a good actress," Fox stated.


        When Fox dropped her off home, she thought about it. What would the
next day
bring? She hoped nothing too drastic; New York was giving her a major
headache.
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        The next day, after homeroom, Dana sat down in English class. Ms.
Sossi was
talking to Noah, inferring about a book. Jen was sitting and listening to
more
music. Dana turned to the other side; Meg wasn't in school.
        "Jen, where's Meg?" Dana asked.
        Jen kept singing to herself.
        "Jen? JEN?" Dana snapped her fingers.
        Jen snapped back into the present demension. "Huh? Meg? Oh, she's
helping her
dad or something."
        Dana nodded. She knew Jen was hiding something.
        Jen sent her a look: I'll tell you later.
        Miss Sossi clapped her hands. "Class? Class? Today, we are going to
discuss
the book The Adventures of Tom Sawyer since we all are required to do a
thesis
on it."
        Groans emitted from a good percentage of the student body.
        "-But first, let me take the attendance..." Sossi hummed. "Megan?
Megan
Kuczynski?" Sossi looked up. "Is Megan in school today? Jennifer?"
        Jennifer looked up. "What?"
        "Is Megan in school today?"
        "Whya askin' me?"
        "I suspect you are best friends."
        "Bullseye. Can't Meg be absent?"
        "Did you see her today?" Sossi was getting impatient.
        "Listen, it's kinda hard to miss her, dontcha think?" Jennifer
shrugged. "I
didn't see her."
        "Don't start an attitude with me, Miss Kuhn, because you are going
to be very
sorry."
        "I already am," Jennifer smiled sweetly, so that tooth decay was
forming in
even the class hamster.
        "Well then, Jennifer, you can answer all my questions today."
        "Goody goody gum drops," Jennifer rolled her eyes.
        "The story takes place near the Mississippi. Jen, can you spell
Mississippi?"
        "The state or the river?" Jennifer asked.
        Even Dana had to giggle at that one.
        "The river," Miss Sossi said patiently.
        "M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I. I can also spell my name and count to ten.
Aren't you
proud?" Jennifer stayed deadpan.
        "Great. Can you find it on a map?"
        "I didn't take it...why do *I* have to find it?"
        "Miss Jennifer Kuhn take your attitude out of here!" Sossi screamed.
        "Deal," Jennifer picked up her books and was about to leave the
room.
        "STOP!"
        Jennifer turned around. "Wa?"
        "Listen, little missy, watch your tongue!"
        "I dont gotta mirror. Without one, dats pretty tough."
        Sossi looked heavenward. "Sit down. Dana, maybe you can answer this
question.
        "Ill try." Dana looked scared.
        "Who wrote Tom Sawyer?"
        "Mark Twain, or Samuel Clemens."
        "Very good, Dana." Sossi smiled.
        "May I remind that this is an accelerated class?" Jen piped up.
        "I wonder what you are doing here," Sossi smiled back.
        "The same as the others...being bored out of our frickin' minds,"
JEnnifer
raised her lip.
        The bell just rang.
        "This period goes by very quickly." Sossi looked at her watch. "See
you all
tomorrow."
        "Unfortunately, that might occur," Jennifer muttered as she left the
room.
        Dana jogged to catch up with her. "Where's Megan?"
        "She went to help her dad with the case. We gotta meet her outside
at 10
minutes to the end of lunch."
        "Oh, ok," Dana smiled.
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        Jen has cut the next classes or so and Dana met her again in lunch.
Dana got
on line to get hot lunch and she literally bumped into Jennifer.
        "Oh, sorry. Hi Jen!" Dana smiled again.
        "Dark and evil to ya," Jen said. "Ready to eat?"
        "Yup. God was IS that garbage?" Dana sniffed.
        "Precisely," Jen shrugged.
        "It smells liek tomato sauce and cider," Dana offered.
        "Sounds great. Why didn't I pack a sandwich?" Jen shook her head.
        A little farther down the line, Jen had given her tray to Martha,
the cook.
Martha dumped a heaping the mystery dish onto Jen's tray. Martha was about
to
hand it back...but yanked it towards her again.
        "What Martha? Has lunch been recalled?" Jen asked.
        "Oh, you're such a tease! No, I forgot to give you your beans!" She
heaped the
brown gobuls onto the dish. "Eat your beans dear. They're full of protien."
        "So what are we eating, either than protien?" Jen asked, giving the
tray a
disgusted look.
        "Apple lasagna," Martha said as she took Dana's try. "Well I don't
know your
face. You new?"
        "Uh yeah. My name is Dana Scully." Dana offered.
        "She hangs with me and Meg," Jen concluded.
        "Ah. I hope to see you more often!" Martha waved them off as they
left the hot
lunch line.
        Sitting down, Jen took one last look at the meal and started eating
it
quickly.
        Dana started eating but after a few bites, something wasn't right.
Her throat
tightened and she felt nauseaus.
        "Danes, you ok?" Jen asked, almost finished.
        "Yes, I ate too fast. I'll feel better once I...." Dana coughed.
        "Throw up," Jennifer offered and on cue Dana let the lasagna make a
repeat
appearance.
        As Dana was helped away by Jennifer, Jennifer oculdn't help
commenting,
"Another interesting thing about Martha's food is that it doesn't look any
different after you've eaten it."
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        "I had no idea I was allergic to fat free ricotta," Dana explained
as she
walked away form the nurses office.
        Jen walked to the front door of the school and held it for Dana.
"Who would
think?"
        As they walked out with Norman giving so much as a squeak, Dana
looked for
Megan. She was sitting on the steps.
        "I heard, Dana. That food is killer," Megan smiled. She had her
blonde hair up
in a french braid.
        "Any news Brownose?"
        "Nothing cool. Nothing that we haven't already found out. Figures,
eh?" Megan
got up. "So how was class?"
        "I wouldn't know," Jen shrugged.
        "Ah, a cutter? Neat-o. After school, do you want to go down to the
station? We
can chat and discuss crap."
        "I can't. I have to finish unpacking," Dana smiled sadly. "Sorry."
        "No biggie. Well, I gotstogo. Cheers, bellas." She walked away to
catch the
next bus. She stopped and winked at me. "Telephone-tu moi." She walked away.
        Dana sighed.
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        Dana was reading a book on the living room couch at three am. She
could't
sleep; she had unpacked for three hours or more. The Andromeda Strain was an
excellent book and Dana wanted to finish it.
        She had called Meg before and she had faxed her the case files. Dana
found
nothing interesting.
        The phone rang.
        "Hello?" Dana whispered.
        "You're awake?" Fox MUlder's voice called from the reciever.
        "No, you're speaking to my conscience," Dana asked.
        "Kay Jiminy Cricket," Fox joked.
        "WHy are you calling me when you should be asleep?"
        "Wanted to know what you thought of this case."
        "Case?" Dana sounded quizical.
        "LAcey's attack and the murder..."
        "Are we working for, what, the FBI?"
        "You could say. Who do you think did it?"
        "I dunno. I think Theo got connections so maybe he had something to
do with
it."
        "Theo?"
        "I went with Meg and Jen to that."
        "Ah." Fox sounded like he was nodding his head.
        "Well, I am going to try to go to sleep."
        "Goodnight mademoiselle," Fox said.
        "Night Fox," Dana said as she hung up the phone.
        She fell asleep on the couch.
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At six A.M. the next morning, Dana was awakened by the phone ringing.
        "Hello?" Dana's voice was thick with sleep.
        "Hey Morning Sunshine. I got news!" Meg exclaimed.
        "Is it a New York thing to call everyonee at either really late at
night or
really early in the morning?"
        "Probably. Theo's checked in to the six foot under hotel."
        "Huh?"
        "Bit the dust...kicked the bucket...."
        "What?"
        "HE DIED!" Megan sounded like she was announcing a party.
        "What?"
        "He's gone...killed just like Charlene. Get your pretty little legs
down here
to the station...Jen, Fox and Lacey are already here!"
        "I'm coming."
        Dana hung up the phone.

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        Dana walked into the station. Jen was sitting on the entrance desk
talking on
the phone. Meg and her dad were around his desk. Lacey was drinking coffee.
Fox
spotted Dana.
        "Dana!" He called. "We were waiting for you!"
        "Do you sleep?" Dana asked as she was dragged outside into a police
car.
        "What's sleep?"
        "Figures."

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        Theo's body was face down...almost a mirror image of Charlene's. No
clues, no
hints, no fingernail scrapings.
        "God this guy is good," Kuczynski said.
        "What gave you the tip off?" Jen rolled her eyes.
        Kuczynski leaned down. "This is really odd. They always make a
mistake. This
perp knew what he was doing."
        "I suspected that much," Meg said.
        Fox looked at DAna. "Can I talk to you over there?"
        Dana gave him a Look and followed him. "What?"
        "Quite convienient for him to die today," Fox stated.
        "What makes it convienient?"
        "You told me over the phone that you suspected him."
        "So?"
        "And today he's dead."
        "I say again..So?"
        "That phone line isn't secure."
        "What?" Dana rolled her eyes. "Thats beeswax."
        "Hey, its a theory."
        "A rather weak one at that," Dana scrunched her eyebrows.
        "Forget I mentioned it," Fox walked away.
        Dana raised her eyebrow; something Meg had rubbed off onto her. This
town was
weird.
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        Dana was tired in school due to lack of sleep and an early wake up
call.
Walking home, she fell into bed.
        At 10pm, she got a phone call from Fox.  "Hey Dana...we might be
having a
french quiz tomorrow. Remember to bring your textbook."
        "That huge thing, man," Dana whined.
        "Bring it... Night..." Fox hung up.
        As Dana placed the book in her pack, she couldn't help thinking why
he called
her.
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