Subject: West Side Hell by Megan XFiler Pre-XF HUMOR 2/6
Date: 24 Dec 1998 14:03:39 GMT
From: xfiles718@aol.com (XFILES718)
Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com
Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative

Title: West Side Hell
Author: Megan XFilr

stuff, discliamer, yadda in Part One

               "No, your alter ego. Yes you!" Lacey joked.
        "I wasn't invited." Fox shrugged.
        "Yeah you were," Megan insisted.
        "I didn't get an invitation."
        "You're hanging with me. That's invitation enough. Come oN!" Megan
laughed
again.
        Dana began to wonder if some vodka was in that Coke can....
        "And you Dana, you coming?" Lacey asked again.
        "If I can, I will," Dana smiled.
        "Fine, I'll have Alex pick us up 7 so we can be there in time to see
Luis and
Rhandel as drunk as Sam Adams himself!" Megan smiled.
        The bell rang from inside and everyone collected their things.
        Dana was beginning to like Soho.
X~X~X~X~X~X~X~~X~X~X~X~X~XX~~X~XX~~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~XX~~X~X~X~X~X
        Next on the list was Social Studies. Dana never really liked Social
Studies;
history was boring. But maybe, she decided, she would try to have some fun
this
year.
        The classroom was dark and dirty. The woman at the front was a total
fraud.
Her hair was blonde with notice-me roots. Her nails were so long that Dana
doubted that plastic CAME in that length. Her clothin was all from the
Kathie
Lee Line and the make-up was beyong a notification.
        The class was already filling up. Dana smiled as she saw Megan and
Jennifer,
again. She was sharing all the classes with these two nuts. Glancing to the
right, she saw Amanda Kohen. She was flippin' her hair, all self
consincious.
Next to her was a blonde and they were talking with all the hand movements.
        "Atten........TTTTTTTIOOOON!" The teacher yelled.
        Dana dropped her book.
        "And whoooo...are youuuu?" The teacher spoke like the Cheshire Cat.
        "Her name is Dana and she's suicidal cause she got stuck..wit..you!"
Jennifer
called out.
        "Um, yeah, I'm Dana Scully. I'm new."
        "Well I can SEE THAT," The teacher grinned. "Let's see, where can I
sit you?"
The teacher thumbed a page in her Delaney book with a long, cheap nail.
"AhHA!"
She pointed to a seat beside Amanda. "Nicole, move to the seat behind you
and
YOU DANA....you sit next to Amanda."
        Dana furrowed her brow. The red head looked at her with a cold
expression.
Dana clicked her way to the back of the room where she was to be sitting.
        Flopping down, she took out her binder. Pulling out a pen, she wrote
her
heading on a piece of looseleaf and entitled the page SOCIAL STUDIES.
        "Geek," Amanda mumbled.
        Dana looked at Amanda. "What did I ever do to you?"
        "You hang out with Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, that's wat."
        Amanda pointed at Megan and Jennifer. Megan was leaning back in her
chair, her
long legs on the back of the boys chair infront of her. Jennifer was in the
corner, giving the whole world an evil glance. She was...yes she was; she
was
listening to her CD player and rapping along with the words.
        "They're my friends."
        "Yeah, I figured."
        Dana looked at the teacher who was about to leave the room. "Class!
I will
beeee....riiight...BAAACK!" She slid out.
        Amanda turned behind her. "Hiya Nicole."
        "Hello Amanda."
        They both giggled.
        "I dont know WHY she moved me back HERE," Nicole whined. "What did I
ever do?"
        "You were born," Dana muttered.
        "What did you say, twerp?" Amanda looked at Dana, her black eyes
piercing
Dana's cool blue ones.
        "If you're referring to the twerp, go ask yourself," Dana smiled.
        "Jesus, is Meg and Jen already rubbin' off?"
        "No. I just think they have a right to fight with an asswipe like
you."
        "Wayll, Amanda. You never let a kid talk to you like THAAT." Nicole
chanted.
        "Fer sure." Amanda stood and approached Dana. "I don't like you."
        "Feeling's mutual." Dana was playing her game.
        Amanda punched Dana in her face. Dana went sprawling into the desk.
Megan got
up. "Hey! Leave her alone!"
        "Make me Megster or maybe YOU'LL be next."
        "Oh look,  I'm shaking," Megan walked over. "Danes, you ok?"
        Dana didn't answer.
        "Amanda what the hell did you do that for?"
        "She's an asshole but you eradicate assholes."
        "Obviously, the exterminator missed you. There's always some roaches
that
stick inside the walls."
        "Stop talking 'bout yourself."
        "Go smoke hickory."
        "Same to you!"
        Megan shrugged. "I admire your talent for taking yourself
seriously."
Megan stood and walked over to her seat just as Ms. Rocklin waltzed in.
"Class! Weeee....are HAVING...a RAPID DISMISSAL!"
        The class cheered.
        "So...in 10 MINNUTES! we will leave THE BUILDING and GO HOME!"
        Megan nudged Jennifer. Jennifer nodded.
        Dana rubbed her cheekbone.
        A large gong rang.."GEEEONG! GEEONG! GEEONG!"
        "Have a nice daaaay!" She singsonged!
        Dana walked over to Megan and Jennifer, who were ready to leave.
"What is a
rapid dismissal?"
        Megan turned and smiled at Dana. "Nothing that can kill you. We just
leave
early."
        "No shit sherlock. Dana, we have them because there are a lot of
shootings and
bomb threats so they want to see if we can leave early without panic,"
Jennifer
said, waving her hand in a forcoming motion.
        "Oh," Dana said.
        Megan looked at Jennifer and they shared a weird look. Jennifer
nodded.
        Dana tried her own Look.
        Slowly, at the intersection of hallway, they each went a seperate
way. Dana to
the left to Mr. Weiss, Jennifer to Ms. Cohen and Megan to Mr. Heend for
homeroom.
        Dana wondered what that all was about.
X~~XX~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~XXx~x~x~x~x~x~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~~X~X~X~~X~X~X~X~X~X
        At homeroom, Dana yanked open her locker and removed her small
sweater and a
notebook she left in there. Mr. Weiss was sitting with his legs crossed and
his
thumb in his mouth. His goatee had been replaced by a mustache.
        "I see we had some late minute shaving, eh Weiss?" Lacey asked as
she waltzed
in.
        "Save it Khellson!" Weiss snap back.
        Dana sat down in an empty chair.
        Everyone was chatting. Well, not everyone. A pair of girls were
making out in
the corner.
        "Jacqueline and Lucy. As gay as anyone can get," Lacey said as she
sat down.
        "So?" Dana asked.
        "Nothing. Just thought you should know."
        "Oh." Dana nodded.
        "Jeez you don't say much do you?"
        "Not really."
        A knock on the door came. A kid opened it and Megan and Jennifer
walked in.
"Sup Weiss."
        "Megan...Jennifer...for what have I recieved such a blessing that I
get to see
you once again?" Weiss said as he stood up.
        "Nothing," Jennifer said as she cracked some Winterfresh gum. "We
just came to
take one of yer students along with us."
        "And which of my little pupils do you want?"
        Megan motioned to Dana. "Her."
        Weiss raised his eyebrow; not as high as Megan's though.
"Scully....get your
rear end up here."
        Dana stood and walked up.
        Weiss smiled. "I see we got on the right foot here, ladies."
        Megan nodded. "But if you don't shaddup I'll stick my left foot up a
place
that I shouldn't be."
        Weiss smiled again. "Have a nice day!"
        Dana followed the duo. From behind, they were different. Megan's
blonde hair
swayed in her step. Jennifer's shorter brown hair with a multicolor streak
job
didn't move but she walked with superiority. Megan walked slightly....shy
although shy wasn't the word to describe her at all.
        Once out the door, Megan turned to Dana. "You wanna join me and Jen
on the
roof?"
        "Um, why?"
        "Cuz," Jennife smiled. "You can see the whole Soho area from up
there. Duh."
        "Isn't that dangerous?"
        "Sure as hell is."
        "So why are we doing it."
        "Because..." Megan said widening her eyes, "You have to see the
whole city.
THEN we're gonna take YOU round town."
        "But why?"
        "Meet the locals." Jennifer shrugged.
        "I'm not very sociable."
        "Can you use a gun?"
        "Yes."
        "See, you're already popular!" Megan laughed. "Come on!"
        Megan and Jennifer both turned to walk up the stairs. Dana scurried
along.
        She made a mental note not to wear heels anymore when she hung
around these
two.
X~XX~X~X~X~X~~X~X~X~X~X~~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~~X~X~X~X~X~X~XX~~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X
        After 7 flights of stairs and a couple of pick-with-bobby-pin-doors,
Meg, Jen
and Dana were on the roof.
        Megan put her bag down. "Welcome to as close to heaven you will ever
get."
        Dana looked out. "It's...beautiful."
        The tops of all the buildings poked up from endless gray. The
sunlight
reflected off buildings and their windows. Lights flashed, cars honked and
the
gravel roof was the one place that Dana felt like she was the King of the
World.
        "Before you get all poetic, lemme tell you a story." Jennifer sat
down and
pulled out a cigerette pack. She perched on a slab of wood, convienently
placed. "There was this kid, like four years ago. His name was Thomas.
Thomas
Jenkins. Great guy. Cute. Good family. Good grades. On the basketball team.
Usual perfect junior."
        Jennifer leaned in as she lit the cigarette and tossed the pack to
Megan.
"So," she dragged on the tobacco, "he comes up here one day. No big deal,
rite?
So, he leans over the edge to look down. And he falls."
        Dana widened her eyes. "How awful!"
        "Honey, that's nothing. He lands, not a bone hurt, not a scratch on
him. Down
6 NYC floors." Jennifer shrugged. "Damn lucky guy."
        Megan lit her cigarette. Blowing the gray smoke out of her nose, she
continued. "So he decides to try again. Climbes back up and falls back down.
Survives. Did it at least, oh, 30 times."
        Megan sat down next to Jennifer. "But when he went to jump again,
his jacket
got caught on that antenna you see over there," she said pointing to a cable
antenna 'bout 10 feet away. "So he gets caught and he's hanging..choking."
        "And finally when all else is going wrong, he screams. Teachers hear
him, run
up and they see him."
        Dana opened her mouth and gasped. "He fell?"
        'Uhuh, "Jennifer shook her head. "Had...the atenna going through his
heart.
Died on the spot."
        "Big surprise was.....that atenna...never got another transmission
ever
again." MEgan nodded solemly. "It's the school story."
        Dana nodded. "How awful."
        Megan dragged on her cigarette once more and put it out. "Wanna go
see my
dad?"
        Jennifer put her's out too. "Why not?" They all stood.
        Dana smiled. She wanted to see THIS guy.
X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~x~XX~X~X~X~~X~X
        At the 113th Precinct, it was your usual NYPD BLUE senario. Hookers
lined the
benches and desk clerks drank coffee and donuts. Cops were in and out of the
place. The whole aura was green...everything was lead-paint-green.
Posters of Uncle Sam and That Smoking Old Guy hung everywhere, along with
APBs
and MOST WANTED photos.
        Dana was intimidated. She was shorter than a lot of them. Megan
walked
straight through them though to the tall desk. "Heya Jack."
        The man looked down. "Hello Megan. Jennifer. And who's the little
one?"
        Jennifer smirked, "Her name is Dana. She's in our grade."
        "Ah, Meg you want to see your dad?"
        "Why, you think I'm here for my health?" Megan sighed.
        The man shook her head. "You're father's sweet. How did you end up
like that?"
        "Ever meet my mom?"
        "Yeah, why?"
        "You just answered your own question."
        Jack laughed and went to go find her father. Megan sighed.
        "You'd think by now they'd know the drill," Jennifer muttered.
        Jack came back. "Interigation room seven. Go have fun."
        "I'll send you a post card." Megan assured as she walked down the
hall.
        At the door, a green sign said, "InterRoom 7" Megan knocked.
        No answer.
        MEgan walked in.
        "Hey, eva heard of privacy?" a black voice called.
        "Not in this lifetime," Megan cracked as she sat down in one of the
chairs.
        "Hey, you my attorney?"
        "Listen, big boy I aint in college yet so don't get your hopes up."
        "I do believe you'd do a better job than most of these public
defenders do," a
voice called from the door way.
        Standing, clad in a black uniform, was Sergeant Kuczynski. A good
6'8" with
long blond hair and cool black eyes, he was holding 3 Pepsis. He threw one
to
Megan and to Jennifer. "Oh, I didn't know we had company. I would have
brought
another Pepsi." He threw Dana the last one. "Here ya go."
        Kuczynski sat down. "Well, well, well...hey Cocoa."
        The black man jittered. "Hey man."
        "How many times are we going to have to go through this?"
        "I dunno," he moved again.
        "You got the Miranda rights down?"
        "Yeah," he twitched.
        "Good. So what you do this time?" Kuczynski crossed his arms and
leaned back.
        "Eh...Ia....eh...took some speed."
        Kuczynski snapped back into a tall position. "Speed? Isn't crack
your deal? Or
is that market going down. Shucks, "he snapped his fingers. "I forgot,
foreign
trade, is that bringing down the prices? Going to for the better stuff?"
        Coca twitched again.
        "Whatsamatta Cocoa...got ants in yer boxers?" Kuczynski winked.
"Who'd you buy
the speed from?"
        "Ratboy."
        "Where's he at?"
        "I aint telling!"
        "Why not?"
        "Cuz he gonna kill me if I tell you!" Cocoa stood up.
        "No he aint," the sergeant told him.
        Megan looked at Dana. "Welcome to Hells Gates, where the doors are
always
open!"
        Dana smiled. What a character!
        "So Cocoa...come on. Spill it." Kuczynski leaned and tipped his
chair. "I have
enough of this game."
        "Listen...he gonna kill me! He killed Daddy!" The black man was
jumping around
though.
        "He killed Combs? Come on....which one?"
        "Danny Combs! We call 'im Daddy. His bro is Puffy."
        "Original. Megan, you listen to this Puff Daddy." He winked again.
        "Sure I do," Meg nodded.
        "Great...great...great. Well, Cocoa, I'm personally fed up. You
write your
statement," Kuczynski said as he reached for his yellow pad and pen, "or
I'll
arrest you for hiding evidence from me. Capiche?"
        Cocoa nodded and took the pen. "If I die...."
        "You wont," Kuczynski assured.
        "He chillin' at the corner...at that hospital."
        "Greenday?"
        "Um, yeah. The one with that light that keeps fallin' on peeps."
        "Yeah, that's Greenday. I'll be back in 10...make sure that
statement makes
sense."
        Kuczynksi got up and patted Cocoa on the back. He headed out. Meg
and Jen
followed. So did Dana.
        "He's back again, Dad?" Megan asked.
        Kuczynski nodded. "You'd think he'd learn. But we'll find Ratboy
soon enough."
        "Then whatcha gonna do?" Jennifer asked, sipping on her Pepsi.
        "Arrest him, scare him crapless. Ya know, the usual."
        Kuczynski stopped at a desk, with a nameplate: Sgt. Maciej
Kuczynski. He sat
down and propped his feet on his desk blotter. "So Meg, Jen, who's this pal
of
yours that seems so quiet?"
        "Oh, this is Dana. Dana Scully, meet my dad."
        Dana smiled shyly. "Hi."
        "You don't have to be scared. Just because I'm cop doesn't mean I'm
going to
hurt ya."
        "Don't mean you wont," Jennifer cracked.
        "Funny, Jennifer. So how'd you get stuck with my daughter and her
reject pal?"
        "We go to school together," Dana said shyly again.
        "She got stuck with Duke, Sossi AND Rocklin," Jennifer shook her
head.
        "My word!" Kuczynski shook his head. "I thought beating kids in
school was bad
enough."
        "It's more like students beating teachers, Dad," Megan smiled.
        Megan sat down and pulled some Jolly Ranchers out from her dad's
desk.
        "Hey! Those are mine, Megan!" Jennifer grabbed them.
        "Why? SO you can pick out all the grape ones?"
        "Yeah! Let the desk clerk eat em." Jennifer pulled out one,
inspected the
inside and popped it into her mouth.
        "At least ask Dana if she wants one," Kuczynski nodded at Jennifer.
        "Oh right. Wa flavor you like, Danes?"
        "Lemon, if you would."
        Jennifer searched and finally pulled out a light yellow one. She
threw 2 on
the desk. "Geez, Sarge. You might think that by now I would have pulled them
all out!"
        Kuczynski grabbed the two purple Jolly Ranchers. Aiming expertly at
the woman
a few desks away. His blue uniform and badge crinkled at the joints as he
plicked the rancher into the mess of blond-dyed hair .
        The woman turned around as everyone started laughing. Kuczynski's
long blonde
hair flapped in his pony tail. Even Dana cracked a smile as Jennifer bleated
out another enigmatic stream of laughs and Megan joined in with a high
pitched
yelling giggle.
        "You know, Mage, by now you would be more mature than your
daughter," the
blonde said.
        "Lizette, chill. It was just a jolly rancher. Matches your roots!"
        Jennifer snorted.
        "Mage." The gal shook her head. She turned to Dana. "Look what your
daughter
has pulled into her evil grasps. Hiya!"
        Dana smiled. "I'm Dana. I go to school with Megan."
        "I figured. I'm Lizette Cunnings. I'm your friend's father's
rookie."
        "Your a rookie?" Jennifer widened her eyes.
        "Hard to believe, but I've been working in Greenwich as a desk
clerk. I want
to be on the field."
        "Then move to Alabama and get a cotton plantation, ma'am," Kuczynski
smiled.

        "Very funny." She turned around.
        Kuczynski snickered. "Hey, Jon!"
        A burly man turned around. "Yeah, what?"
        "Go get me chinese!"
        "I'm not on the way there."
        "Now you are!"
        The man shook his head. "You use me!"
        "No I dont! I just give you something to do!"
        Jon walked away. "Sucker," Megan smiled.
        "Megan, why don't you take Dana home? Cook some dinner, I'll be home
by 9.
Jennifer, welcome to join."
        "Coo," Jennifer nodded.
        Dana smiled. "I need to ask my mom."
        Kuczynski picked up the phone. "Number?"
        "555-0245."
        Kuczynski dialed. He cleared his throat and deepend his voice.
"Hello may I
speak to..uh...Miss Scully? Yes, my name is Maciej Kuczynski here at the
112th
Precinct. I have your daughter right here. I just would like to ask her a
few
questions."
        Dana opened her mouth. "NO!"
        "Nothing to worry about. She made friends with my daughter Megan and
we were
wondering if she could over for a little welcoming dinner. Sure, here she
is."
        He handed her the phone.
        "Mom?"
        "Dana, honey! YOu scared me!"
        "Well, Mr. Kuczynski scared me too."
        "What was he saying?" Maggie Scully inquisited.
        "Well, Megan and Jennifer, who are his daughter and her friend,
became my
friends. They would like me over for dinner so we can chat. Please?"
        "Fine. Let me talk to this Megan."
        Dana handed Megan the phone. "My mom wants to speak to you."
        Megan shrugged. Grabbing the phone, she said, "Hiya Miss Scully!
Yeah, this is
Meg. No, no problem. Just wanna get to know her. I'm very nice, Miss Scully.
My
GPA is 3.98. Don't worry. Jen is just as nice! Really! Just some
chinese...no
MSG. Great."
        Megan handed back the phone. "It's fine."
        "Thanks mom," Dana said to the phone.
        She hung it up.
        "I do less questioning when we try to convict a guy for Murder One.
Woa, your
mother's protective!" Kuczynski smiled.
        Jennifer stood. "Where do you keep the beer?"
        "Jennifer, if I gave you beer you'd get arrested and I'd get
suspended."
        "And you're telling me this cuz...." Jennifer smiled.
        Kuczynski shook his head. "Wait another year, gal. You can drink
when your
16."
        Jennifer sat down again. "Damn."
        "But, to make you happy, here's something you'll like." Kuczynski
leaned back
and popped a tape into the player on his typewriter desk.
        One Week started playing. Jennifer mouthed all the words along with
Megan as
they stood. Jennifer opened her hand towards Kuczynski. He dropped keys into
her palm and shooed them off.
        Still singing, they left the office while Jon entered back with a
couple of
bags.
        Walking down the street, Jennifer stopped by a white BMW. "You'd
think a cop
would have somehting more practical." She clicked the automatic door opener
and
jumped into the drivers side.
        Megan went in on the front and Dana sat in the back.
        Back! Forward! Zoom!
        On their way to a glorious adventure.
        Dana smiled. She couldn't wait to see this gals home.
X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~~XX~X~X~~

Next part Please..................>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


