The Egyptian Consulate London opens at 9.30am so you should aim to arrive there at 9.20am. You will probably find that there is already a que of about ten people out side the building clutching flies full of papers and looking at their watches impatiently.

When the Visa office finaly opens at 9.35am you will decend into the basement of the building and fill in a form. Once this is done you will try to approach one of the 2 miserable bitches behind the counter who will shout "Staple your photo" at you. Once you have stapled your photo to your visa application you will once again try to aproach the counter and they will shout "There is only 1 que", dispite the fact that only one of them actualy has a customer in front of her. You will que paitently while one of them proceses form of the woman ahead of you and the other one just sits there talking to her in Arabic.
Once the woman in front of you has finished procesing the visas of her ENTIRE FAMILY you can procede to try and hand over your completed aplication forma nd its neatly stapled photo at the counter.
Once you have done this and handed over the fee for the visa The Bitches will get stroppy with you becouse you don't have the exact money, They will then slam your change on the counter and tell you to come back this afternoon.

Later that day when you return to collect your passport and visa you will find a man standing behind the counter who will look at you strangely and then point at the empty chairs of The Miserable Bitches before shouting very angrily in Arabic at the people in the back office. The people in the back office will shrug their sholders with bemused expressions on their faces.

Eventualy the man behind the counter will ask you what you want. When you tell him that you have returned to collect your passport he will point at a pile of visa application forms on the counter and say "fill out form!". You will then explane that you already filled out the form this morning and have come back to collect your passport. Undersatnding will dawn.

The man will then ask you for your ticket.

You will be puzzled by this question and tell him that you don't have a ticket.

He will ask why you don't have a ticket and you will reply that you never got one because the moody bitch behind the counter just snatched your passport and money and said come back later. He will get a very annoyed look on his face (it is safe to assume that he is pissed at the bitches and not you).
He will then ask what nationality you are and get out a tray full of passports (which all have numberd tickets on them).
He will then search through the pile untill he finds 2 passports at the bottom without tickets on them.
He will open the first one and look at the picture, naturaly you will crane your neck to see the picture and when you recognise that it is your passport with a cry of "thats mine!" he will look at you like you are a dirty liar out to nick your self a British passport.
He will then ask you your name and compare your face to the photo in the passport very carefuly.

Eventualy he will hand over your passport and wish you a happy stay in Egypt.

Earth Girl