Outcasts
by Azkaban’s Guard
Chapter 2- Lacrimat (weeps)
I can here something. A loud banging noise reverberates round my cell. Thud. Thud. Crash.
Thud. Thud. Crash. Only then do I realise it’s my head banging against
the wall. The padding is shredded and I can see pale raw stone flicked with
crimson. My nostrils flare, as I smell the rotting substance, some of its
fresh. Some of those spots are mine, which is strange though, because I can’t
feel a cut in my head. My hand glided down my greasy black hair and caressed my
scalp. There was no blood on my hand...only dirt. How long had I been in this
cell?
Total isolation was not something I was entirely familiar with until now. All
of my life I had luckily felt only one type of solitude. But in some ways it’s
worse. To be alone when surrounded by people is like drowning in air. However
the loneliness can be intensified more, if you know them but you remain
unknown. I’ve felt it, but no one comforted me. Not once person extended a
smile or even a swift acknowledgement. A fit of abuse would have been better
than silence. I was just a nameless figure in a crowd of familiar faces.
There was not a sight or sound of communication here-other humans were devoid
and maybe non existent. I am sure that if I had the gift of magic my senses
would detect another. How pitifully quiet things were...not even the sound of
bone on brick anymore. But I can here something- a trickle, followed by an
intense throbbing. My head seems to be on large angry wasp buzzing harder and
harder- trying to get somewhere desperately. I’m trying to get
somewhere-something-anything other than being a squib in a muggle world!
They shoved me in here-in isolation like a spider trapped in a jar...the shiny
sides can not be clambered upon- it just slips further and further into a sense
of defeat and doom. How could those muggle fools think that this would benefit
my health? Then the reality was dumped on my shoulders once more- they were
containing the disease. I don’t blame the muggle’s, I’d escape if I could but
my body is my own tomb.
I can’t help thinking about my future if one simple fact was altered. I knew
what I’d be doing... I’d be sitting by a lake, accompanied by a wizard friend. Perhaps a strapping young male? No, not
perhaps- definitely. I was considered quite beautiful until my disease
had taken hold… At the tender age of eleven the owl didn’t come. As September
approached it wasn’t only me that had realised my illness. My family are
purebloods. To put it more elaborately they had no business associating with
squibs, family or not.
A tear fled down my pale cheek, a hope of a cheery future or even present had
morphed into a shattered memory once again. The disease was worsening, I knew
it then for my own tears were deserting me now...
As I continued to wallow in self hate the door bolts slid open threateningly
fast. At last there was a sign of people. The volcano of life was just dormant,
but not extinct like I’d expected. Three men marched in and slung me to the
other side. They whispered something, nodded briskly and took held of my arms.
I didn’t get up then, one snorted like a horse and decided to drag me across
the floor. I stayed firmly where I was. I was not going to be dragged anywhere.
They finally resigned their tug of war and relaxed their firm grip. The horsy
man grunted once more, “Come with me. Someone is here to testify your sanity.”
I smiled for the first time at something other than a fanciful day dream. I
only barely heard the other man to the left of me snickering. “Good luck to
them.”
I ignored their taunts for some time, staying rooted to my cell floor. Maybe it
was the Minister of Magic himself- offering an apology for the oversight of my
magic. I squealed then right in front of the staff. I screeched like a freshly
weaned piglet crying desperately for its last drop of milk. Only I cry for a
wand.
The beastly man raised an eyebrow and grunted questioningly. “I suppose I am to
follow,” I sighed triumphantly. I didn’t know it then but my former haughtier
self was emerging...maybe the pureblood witch would emerge to fulfil my
family’s dreams. All muggle’s would fear their mistake. And so would the
Minister... in time...