EWC Wakeup Call: Week 1 TV Report Shawn Pearce reporting. Well, I got my first Sat. off from Work in a few weeks, and was watching the Batman/Superman hour on WB (Hey, cartoons kick ass. =) when I saw this come on at about 11 AM. *DAMN*, EWC's getting ambitious...2 cards on already and they've already got a Shotgun-esque show on Sat mornings. However, the ratings are bearing out. "Lords of the Ring" is scoring *hot* ratings for it's time period, edging out ABC's TGIF lineup to be first in the time period..it's still only in the mid-60s overall in the Nielsens, but that's *very* promising for a new show, and more importantly, it's the WB's only "sports" output right now. At any rate, they do a cool intro, then they go to the broadcasters.. Adrienne Solo is doing blow by blow (Good to see a Solo back on TV, but she's still very green...this is a good place for her), while a gentleman named Colossians Washington is doing color. Colossians was a bigwig in the now newly-merged Mississippi Wrestling Federation, more or less the Junkyard Dog of MS in terms of popularity. Apparently DCW didn't think he worked well in commentary with Earl Brahma, so he didn't get broadcast time when Earl signed on with DWF....and the EWC thought he could work out. He has a very southern outlook on things, giving the show a Memphis-ish feel, but that's kind of cool, especially in the mornings. Anyways, they do the openings, main event is Children of Apolcalypse vs 2 Cool Dudes, plus appearances from Dr. Destructo and a few others. They kick off with: SIDI AL NASSIR, "THE CHIC SHEIKH" vs. Bryan "B.G." Grant (w/ Jimmy "Sat. Night" LeFebrve) Neither wrestler came out to any kind of pop, in fact the censors seemed to be blanking out a "You suck!" chant aimed at both men entering the ring. Once referee "Rev" Ray Chapman completed his instructions and ordered the bell rang, al Nassir offered a handshake, which Grant unwisely accepted. al Nassir, of course, hit a snap kick to the groin and then whipped the Disco Dance King into the turnbuckle. A running clothesline into the corner was then followed by a hiptoss out to ring center again and an elbow drop to the back of the head. Pulling Grant to his feet by his hair and choking him in the ropes then led to a count and a warning from Chapman. Given a moment to recover, Grant then hit a punch to the stomach as al Nassir approached and whipped the Chic Sheikh to the ropes, going for a back body drop. Unfortunately for him, al Nassir slapped on the brakes and hit a DDT instead. Grant then found himself hoisted into a fireman's carry and the victim of the Saudi Slam (fallaway slam from the 2nd turnbuckle), followed by the Arabian Guillotine (basically a tricked-up version of the Mudslide using a leaping axe kick as the contact point) and a cover for 3. ############################################## #Winner:Sidi al Nassir, by pinfall Time: 2:39# ############################################## THOUGHTS: Well, I remember this guy from when he managed the Janissaries in the EWF...wasn't a *horrible* manager, now I guess he's going for a DDP kind of thing and getting into wrestling. Solo said he's a LH, so he'll be in the big tournament going on, CW thought it was a throwback to his days to see a LH without a whole lot of jumpin' around. I just thought it was weird to see someone else using Fuego's finisher, even tho it had the extra bounce to it. They go to a commercial. When they come back, they show some editied highlights of the tag tournament, including the rise of Weapons of Last Resort by showing the end of their match over Frozen Hell, the interference by Chris Sim that got FH to the semifinals, and bits from the Retrospection/Beyond Our Control match. They promise to show the tag final later in the hour. Next up was.... DR. DESTRUCTO vs. Mad Mack Mad Mack is already in the ring yelling to the fans about what a great actor he is, and how Mel Gibson needs his help for the next sequel when the opening chords of Chopin's "Funeral March" fill the arena, and the lights dim dramatically. The video wall begins a montage of collapsing buildings, and Dr. Destructo steps from behind the curtain. By the look in his eyes, this will be a short match. Destructo walks to the ring, slides in under the bottom rope, and immediately starts hammering Mack with forearm shots and European Uppercuts. A whip into the rope is followed by a vicious chopblock on Mack's leg, and then the carnage begins. Dr. D. goes over his repertoire of submission holds, often releasing one hold for a few seconds to apply a new one. After a few minutes of hearing Mad Mack screaming in agony, Dr. D. decides to end the match, and applies his Texas Cloverleaf to get the win. ############################################### # WINNER: Dr. Destructo, by submission. 3:41 # ############################################### THOUGHTS: OK, I don't know what happened in USeW to get Destructo to come over here...but the big problem is that Destructo either needs to *talk* or find someone to *talk* for him, because he's a decent matworker, but he'll never get anywhere by *just* wrestling other than *maybe* main-eventing on this show. And it's a shame...Destructo's role as Underworld enforcer helped get him over as a heel...he went out and kicked ass, Jimmy talked for him, more fan reaction. He needs to do that before the heat coming from his switching feds dies fast. Anyways, after the match Solo and CW are talking more about the Roker Showtime situation when... {A lull in the action had the crowd a bit restless until some action up the aisle saw Jade Tiger lead T'chai Se-Yeoung, the Iron Bull to the ring. Dodging some debris, the pair got to the ring and Jade Tiger took the mic causing earsplitting feedback.} Jade Tiger: Typical American technology, obviously assembled by the grubby little, Dorito stained fingers of a lazy work force. So good of you to drag your fattened bodies away from the mission to see the premier bringer of destruction, the Iron Bull. {Needless to say, the crowd reacted unfavorably to this characterization.} Ah, have I touched on an alcohol soaked nerve? Perhaps one of you strapping American lads would like to do something about it? That is, if you can spare the time from beating your wives, girlfriends, and children! {Security did a fine job of encircling the ring, but as fate would have it one well-built man wearing a New England Patriots (got to love the imagery) from the crowd hopped the railing and eluded the staff to slide in the ring like a real "pro." Up he popped, and charged head-first into an Iron Bull thrust kick that knocked him out cold.} Jade Tiger: HA! HA! HA! once again the mighty America has fallen. {Jade Tiger barked a few commands to the Iron Bull and removed something from his robe, handing it to the big man. Iron Bull pulled the unconscious man to a sitting position and revealed the object to be a mask. The Iron Bull put the mask on the man, as the camera showed it to be a white mask with a red star. Jade Tiger then stood over the man and talked to the slumbering form.} Jade Tiger: Ooh, you are in a very precarious situation. All alone, with no one to help you...get used to it. There is great trouble on the horizon, and you are all alone. Do you hear me Samaritan? I know you are cowering somewhere out there without the courage to appear...heed my warning, you proclaim to help others, but who is going to help you? {Jade Tiger stomped on the man's chest as he smiled at the grinning Iron Bull and the duo exited the ring as a mix of security and medical personnel tended to the victim.} THOUGHTS: The heat doesn't get much cheaper than this, but it's a good starting program with both men, and Tiger is good at getting a crowd reaction. I think I can put safe odds, tho, on Steve the Insane showing up the first interfed chance he gets.... Another commerical, they come back and show the Pep Boys Breakdown of the Week, same one as was on LotR, then they go to: THE RAW ASSASIN vs. John Sliver "Assasination Day" by Ghostface Killah blasts throughout the arena. The fans begin an arrogant boo as The Raw Assasin makes his way to the ring. He is dressed in a black robe with black lettering reading "The Raw Assasin." In the ring waits his opponent, John Sliver. Sliver is doing his pre-match stretches as The Raw Assasin enters the ring. The Raw Assasin removes his robe and introduces himself to the referee. He strikes his hands in the signal to call it down the middle and exchanges words with the referee. *Bell Rings* Sliver attacks The Raw Assasin from behind. The Raw Assasin hits the mat early. Sliver starts to kick him down. Sliver with an Irish Whip into the ropes. On his way back The Raw Assasin ducks a John Sliver Clothesline and hits a Russian Legsweep. He bounces off the ropes and hits a knee drop. Now he goes over to the referee and they exchange words. The Raw Assasin makes a pin. [One,Two...Kickout] The Raw Assasin whines to the referee. The ref yells "Two!" The Raw Assasin kicks the mat and runs out of the ring. He goes over to the bell ringer and tells him to ring the bell. The bell ringer refuses and the Raw Assasin throws a chair. He gets back in the ring to meet a John Sliver sidekick. He hits the mat again as John Sliver bounces off the ropes. John Sliver executes an elbow drop. Now Sliver goes up to the top rope. He flies down but is met by a Raw Assasin knee to the face. Now The Raw Assasin picks him up and calls for his finisher "The Assasinator" He hits the jumping piledriver finisher as the fans murmor. The Raw Assasin yells at the referee again and makes a nonchalant cover [One,Two,Three] The referee raises The Raw Assasin's arm and The Raw Assasin hugs him. ############################################# # WINNER: The Raw Assasin, by pinfall 3:11 # ############################################# THOUGHTS: I don't know if I like him or not. His flashes have been interesting, but so far he's been a one trick pony with it. He needs an interesting face to feud with..or at least a new face willing to come out and tell him to shut the hell up. =) Otherwise, it's gonna be as predictable as Sim running a 20 minute promo every week. They go to a commerical...when they come back they show highlights from LotR of the Fuego/Sim match. Sim's a hot talent, and this could be a *great* series of matches, but I smell screwjob until the very end...although Fuego is a good choice to use against someone who wants to be annoying to the faces...Fuego seems to annoy *really* easily. Anyways, good finish to the match, and it adds slow heat to the Sim/Grendel redux you know is coming... Next up, they showed this... @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ ('Take it like a man' by The Offspring blasts over the sound system as a man about 6'5" with a bodybuilder's physiqe parts the curtains wearing dresspants with suspenders to hold them up and a white tanktop with mic in hand. As he walks out a few more steps he's engulfed in a halo of white light, smiling a white toothed grin for the camera. He takes a little time out to walk over and shake hands with some of the younger kids at the top of the aisle before beginning to talk.) [Harrison] Now, i'm not going to come in here and claim to be the best athlete, wrestler, or physical specimen to grace this ring, that's for y'all to decide ... (Harrison gets a decent pop from the women in the audience for his all American type looks alone, that and his forearm flex.) and I certainly don't expect to run wild through the federation right away, i'm a rookie i'm going to make a few mistakes along the way. But, look into these eyes, look at this face, and you know you can trust me when I say i'm going to give it my all, and face everyone straight up and within the rules ... you won't get anything but a hard match when you get into the ring with Grant Harrison. (small pop) As for Curtis Stone, or C-Jack as you like to be called. So you think your all that, for lack of a better term. I'll give you one thing you did manage to eliminate me from the Footbrawl, but anything can happen in a match like that. In a one on one situation i'll be able to prove myself to be the better man. I know that I have to prove myself, not just to you Stone, but to myself and all these great fans ... (another small pop) Now doing this I can't just stand here and talk you need to see me in action and Martinez you are the first on my way up the ladder. Bean people will always remember this match as the first for Grant Harrison, this is a big moment ... and the whole time you're in the ring with me remember, if you beat me you'll be on your way up ... this is for your own good. (As he continues to walk to the ring the colour of the spot light gradually changes through white, blue, purple and finally red. With each colour change comes a more intense look on Harrison until he scowls at Martinez while ringing his hands.) @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Grant Harrison vs. 'The Mexican Jumping' Bean Martinez Martinez started the match by waving his cape around like a bullfighter, to which Harrison offered his hand, as Bean walked over to Harrison he got nailed with a running clothesline. Harrison followed up by jumping on Bean and nailing him with punches, before choking the life out of him, to the count of 4. Harrison broke the choke for a second before locking it in again, as he pulled Bean to his feet and threw him into the corner the whole time in a choke hold. This led to a Vader-esqe corner spot, before Harrison placed Martinez on the top turnbuckle. Bean however somehow managed to get his wits about him and pulled out a nice looking tornado DDT. After this both men were a little slow to get up ... Harrison got up first and charged right at Bean, but was met with a nice roundhouse kick that sent him stumbling back into the ropes, a spinning heel kick later and Harrison was in a bad way on the floor. Martinez took his sweet time and played to the crowd as Harrison got back to his feet. As soon as Harrison got to his feet Martinez took to the air with a springboard plancha press ... which Harrison managed to convert into a stun gun onto the steel guardrail, to a huge crowd reaction. Martinez was clutching his neck but not moving after that high impact move. Harrison then pulled Martinez to his feet and threw him face first into the ringside steps, Harrison then picked up the steps and threw them to the side. He then threw Bean over his shoulder and rammed him hard into the ringpost, this is where things got odd. Harrison wrapped Bean's legs around the lower turnbuckle so he was hanging upsidedown right in front of the ringpost. Harrison then grabbed Beans head, brought him to chest level and threw him down, so that Bean smacked the back of his head hard on the ringpost. Harrison did this a few more times to the horror of most of the crowd. A well placed boot to the midsection caused Bean to fall on his head on the outside. Harrison then threw Bean back into the ring and slid in after him. Harrison then climbed the turnbuckle and asked the fate of Martinez as he waggled his thumb between the up and down signal to the crowd, to which most replied with thumbs down of their own. Harrison then hopped down and drilled Martinez with Grant's Tomb(a Northern Lights Bomb out of a turning powerslam position) for the easy three count. ############################################ # WINNER: Grant Harrison, by pinfall 6:47 # ############################################ THOUGHTS: OK, if the idea of this guy is to totally confuse me, mission accomplished. I sense a Waylon Mercy kind of thing going, which could be good, but this'll take some time to develop. On the flip side, it's good to see Martinez active again, even in the EWC. I read somewhere that EWC wants to regularly employ-tryout indy stars in order to get them TV exposure, and thus give the hometown feds some credibility for having home talent on national TV. Good to see the owner of the EWC not forgetting his roots. They go to another commerical, and when they come back they show the last 5 minutes of the World Tag title finale. GREAT match.. I was curious about the idea of pushing a rookie team to the World title, but WoLR seem to have the in-ring chops to back it up! Both they and Retrospection are *great* workers with a good "gimmick", so to speak, and they'll both do very well...I think EWC wanted to push the tag titles with new teams since the existing teams out there don't *need* the heat, really. I'd almost bet on Retro/WoLR title match at the PPV, which they announce will be on March 16th, broadcast from the Bryce Jordan Center at Penn State University....ah, Armand's bringing his dads baby to the fan base that kept your dad going to the very end. One more commercial, and then the main event comes on, preceded by this: (The lights go out and two spotlights go on. The Children of Apocalypse step into the light to reveal themselves in black robes with their hoods covering their faces. Each with a mic in their hands and they begin to speak in unison.) [Dan and Zach] Last time we tried to play nice, only to be cheated out of a win. A simple stick left with a loss and looking like fools. This angered our father, as he put us in to the Pit of Sorrows for a full week. We were released today and to face the Two Cool Dudes. You two have realized something a lot of people haven't. You should make the most of life. For you may end up with no life, acting like an arrogant jerk, not letting anyone in your life, and before you know it, it's over. [Dan and Zach] Soon this will all be true. The life that some once valued so dearly will be removed, and then you will have nothing but the wasted years of your life. So let this be a warning, the end is coming, so value your time remaining. (The lights go back on and they walk to the ring) After that, "One Week" by the Barenaked Ladies comes on, with a *big* explosion of confetti immediately after the "It's been.." opening of the song. Tommy B. Cool wears a black t-shirt with red stars on. Wears a black bandana, with PAAL in red on it. Black shorts and red Nikes. Stevie M. wears a white, full-length t-shirt, with a blue short-sleeved t-shirt over it, with PAAL on it. Blue shorts, white socks and blue Nikes. Gee, don't *these* guys look familiar. 2 COOL DUDES vs. THE CHILDREN OF APOCALYPSE Dan Rierson, the larger of the CoA, started out against Stevie M, and although initially he got the better of Stevie with shoulder tackles and bodyslams, Stevie came back with a dropkick, then 2CD took over with a couple of double team moves, including a ducked double clothesline attempt by Dan into a twin single arm DDT by both men, that left Dan howling in pain. Lots of quicks tags the first couple of minutes (I could tell this was a long match as they cut a *lot* out of it for the morning TV time limit), then for awhile CoA went postal on Stevie M., using a combination of power moves and aerial hits to knock him from stem to stern...the sweetest spot of the match being Zach's twistaround diamond cutter on Stevie. CoA got two two counts before hitting their "Full Redemption" powerbomb/neckbreaker finisher. That would have gotten the three except Tommy broke the count. Zach picked up Stevie and sent him to the ropes...huracanrana attempt by Zach was reversed into an overhead stun gun by Stevie, allowing Stevie to make the hot tag to Tommy, who came in fists of fire on Zach, then turned around and *levelled* Dan with a superkick. Eventually both men started on Tommy, calling Stevie into a wild four way brawl, with Dan and Stevie ending up outside the ring. Zach hits a DDT then heads up to the top rope for "The End"..otherwise known as the Shooting Star Press, but Tummy got his knees up, then rolled Zach onto the ground in a pinning position while bridging his one arm with his knees for the 3 count! ############################################ # WINNERS: 2 Cool Dudes, by pinfall. 23:52 # ############################################ Postmatch, Dan comes in with a chair and waffles Cool, then tosses him out of the ring, and the brothers Rierson then proceed to chair the snot out of both men, with Dan turning to the camera afterwards and saying "Not so nice now, are we?" THOUGHTS: Good solid match by both teams, it could have gone either way. 2CS is a good team stuck with a dorky image. I thought for sure they'd be feuding with Retrospection as both teams seem to be straight out of the late 80's, but I guess EWC saw something in Retro they didn't see in 2CS yet. As for the CoA, they're either becoming Sloan's new minions or they need an image change. There's four seperate characters now (SLoan, Brother Hand, and the CoA) operating with a "redemption" heel gimmick. Personally, I say do the obvious and put Sloan at the head of the four of them, and watch them kick some ass. But that's just me. They use the end of the show to plug the next LotR, featuring the Roker/Fuego World title match, Sloan vs. Slayer, and a few other things. Me, I have a haircut appt. Peace out.