Ladies and Gentlemen, I am now out here by myself, the paramedics have taken Jeremy Byron to the back, he's sustained head and neck injuries at the hands of an IRATE TR Parker, Parker gaining some measure of revenge, but apparently I'm now without a broadcast partner.... (The arena gets an earful of Pink Floyd's "Money", as out of the back comes Jeremy Byron's cohort and GLW tag team partner, Billy "The Kid" MacIntosh. He walks past the aisles of fans, nose in the air, and takes the seat to Cross's right at the announcer's table.) Sorry I'm late, Cross. Had to talk business with some Florida State football players. Billy, what are you doing here??? That's Mr. MacIntosh to you, pal! And I'm here to fill in for the greatest color commentator EWC has ever seen! What Parker did to my friend Jeremy Byron was unprovoked, uncalled for, and just plain WRONG! You don't do what he did to ANY member of MTV and expect to get away with it! And I already have daddy's lawyers on the case to make sure Parker pays for what he did, and pays dearly! Well, it's clear you have a different take than most people do on that series of events.... Not a different, take, Cross-eyes... the *right* take! And I'm willing to take it to the EWC Board of Directors and even into court if I have to..... "I'M THE SCAT-MAAAAAAN!....." (Decent crowd pop as Scatman John plays over the loudspeakers, and "Silky Smooth" Simon Sanders parts the curtains and walks down the aisle. He smiles, slaps hands and exchanges greetings with the fans he encounters, then makes his way toward the announcer's table.) Now hold on, here! What's the EWC Town Drunk doing out here with us? Oh come on now, Sanders has been off the bottle for a long time now! He's been totally rehabed. But still a good question - why are you out here, Mr. Sanders? Doin' a li'l scoutin' here, my man. 'Cuz ev'rybody knows dat Simon Sanduhs is one of da top condenduhs fo' da EWC Light-Heavy Championship. An' I want an up close look at who's arm I gotta break ta git dat belt. Yeah, well Hannibal Lechter was also successfully "rehabed", and we all know what happened there. Ya know, you're lucky Cross is between us, otherwise I'd have to slap dat silvuh spoon right out yo' mouth.... *sigh* I think I'm in for a long match.... *DING DING DING DIIIIIINNNNNGGGGG!* <<"Helter Skelter" kicks in to a LOOOOOOOUD crowd pop, loudest of the night thus far. Curtis walks out in his T-shirt and ring gear to a LOUD ovation, that gets louder when the pyro's go off before his walk to the ring>> Challenger coming out first, and he looks ready for a fight! Wit' these two, ya gotta be ready fo' anything. Both these boys be crazy, throw their bodies on da line, absolutely reckless abandon on both sides of da ring. An' who know what's gonna come up wit' dat wheel. Well, I look at Bill Curtis and I see someone desperately trying to hang on to what's left of a less-than-stellar career. This man has been hurt too many times, he's WAY past his prime, he shouldn't even be WRESTLING, yet alone in a championship match! [PA System] Who you tryin' to get crazy with, ese....DON'T YOU KNOW WE'RE LO-CO!?! <> And right there, you're looking at the man who will walk out of here still the Light-Heavyweight Champ! It doesn't matter what stipulation comes up, he's keeping that belt. Well, it don't really mattuh ta me who wins dis match. I'm officially callin' next. The wheel has been spun. And it's slowing down and coming to a stop on...... FUEGO'S RULES!.... (Cue the "FUEGO'S GONNA KILL YOU!!!" chants) A JUNGLE ISLAND DEATH MATCH??? Jungle Island..... what the heck's a Jungle Island Death match? You mean they're gonna ship these two to a jungle island and just let them fight it out? 'Cause if they are, I hope they get nowhere near my daddy's nice little place in the South Pacif..... SWEET MOTHER OF.... what in the world is *THAT*??? (Colored lights flash throughout the arena as an ominous structure descends from the ceiling - a 20-foot tall roofless steel-bar cage that creates about five feet of cell space around the ring. The cage has wooden platforms on each wall, roughly 12-15 feet above the ground, with rope ladders providing access. The platforms stick out to just over the ring ropes. Above two platforms are bamboo rods, above a third is a barbed wire baseball bat, and a gasoline-soaked towel and lighter is above the fourth. Ring crew members bring down two chairs and two tables and set them on the floor inside the cage.) Man oh man, put up da disclaimers. Someone's gonna git hurt. Hurt? HURT??? Forget hurt, someone's gonna get KILLED! This is EXACTLY why you'll never see me wrestling in this ass-backwards Federation. This is JUNK! This is GORE! This is GARBAGE wrestling! I am a pure, classic, technical, scientific WRESTLER! I would NEVER subject myself to a match such as this! Daddy would NEVER allow his Number One Son to participate in this kind of match! My standards are FAR above those of this trash Federation! And the fact that your archenemy Fuego wrestles here has nothing to do with your choice to stay away? Don't talk to me about Fuego, Cross. The EWC is full of nutcases, and Fuego's the head cashew! And another thing - just as you’ll never see me wrestling in this classless federation, it’ll be a cold day before that greasy-haired buffoon Fuego ever sets foot in *MY* Great Lakes Wrestling. YOUR Great Lakes Wrestling? What makes you say that? Who do you think bailed them out? Oh wait a minute... you don’t mean... That’s *EXACTLY* what I mean! And now that daddy owns the company, things are going to be done a LITTLE bit differently around there... Well, personal preferences aside, I gotta say dis match favuhs da champ mo' dan Curtis. Both bruthas like ta fly, an' dere's plenty space fo' dat. But I think Monroe is da mo' brutal an' sadistic of da two. An' when ya throw in da tables 'n chairs 'n all dem weapons up there, dis is da champ's type of match. *DING DING DING!* Well, we're gonna find out! Here we go! EWC Light Heavyweight Title on the line, and you can win by either pinfall or by knockout. Monroe starting off by getting right in Curtis' face and laying the trash talk and he's IMMEDIATELY pushed back by Curtis! Man, fuhgit 'bout indimidatin' Curtis. He's been 'round long enuf an' been thru enuf dat he ain't gonna give in. Trading shoves now and down goes the champ! But he bounces right back up and..... ooooh! What a slap across the face by Monroe! Hah! Maybe that'll teach him a little respect! You don't push the champ around like that. Maybe not, but Curtis firing right back. Now into a collar and elbow, and Monroe shoves Curtis into a corner. Referee Terry Magnum not wanting to get too close here. Likely a smart move on his part. Dis match is gonna be a fi’t to da finish, so Magnum-man’s best bet'll be just ta git outa da way an’ let dese two bruthas just slug it out. Something I’m sure you’re an expert in, Sanders. You’ve been in more than your fair share of scraps after a binge-fest at Rosalyn’s. Watch it, smartass. Or I might do ta you what Parker-man did to yo' li'l buddy. Another collar and elbow, and now Curtis returns favor by pushing the champ back into the corner... and again Magnum trying to separate the two and Monroe sneaks in a right hand over the referee! Curtis staggered by the blow, and the champ follows up with another right. And a third Irish whip by the champ reversed by Curtis. Shoulder block by Monroe off the rebound and down goes the challenger.... Monroe to the ropes again.... leapfrog by Curtis.... backward leapfrog now.... and Monroe holds onto the ropes and Curtis' spin wheel kick catches nithing but air! Heads-up move by the champ there..... And Monroe misses an elbowdrop follow-up! Idiot..... Curtis to his feet first and takes the champ over with an arm drag! And a second one! Drop kick knocks him down again! Monroe backing into a corner, but Curtis follows him in and sends him for the ride, and charges right in with..... no! Monroe back drops him over the top rope! But Curtis lands feet-first on the apron! Monroe bettuh turn 'round. He's still congratulatin' himeslf on dat move. Curtis quickly up top..... and catches the champ with a leaping forward roll head scissors! Monroe sliding out of the ring....... OOOOH! He just crotched himself on the ringpost trying to escape! And Curtis seizing the moment with a sliding dropkick to the top of the head! Now that was uncalled for, kicking a man when he's down like that! Uncalled for, maybe, but it's all legal in this Jungle Island Death Match. Monroe outside the ring trying to walk it off, and.... look out, he's got one of the chairs! Ah, that's it! Here we go! Curtis the Cripple is gonna get some payback! Monroe quickly slides back into the ring and starts swinging that chair like a madman! Curtis bailing out and just avoiding a shot across the back of the head! Yeah! NOW who's on the bicycle peadaling backwards? Curtis now grabbing the other chair, and we have a standoff here. Monroe up on the second turnbuckle yelling at Curtis to get back in the ring, Curtis on the floor motioning for Monroe to come to the outside. Each man tryin' ta force the utha into makin' a mistake here. But neithuh one givin' in so far. Monroe now tossing his chair aside and...... oh my, can you believe the arrogance on the part of the champion here? What arrogance? He's just holding the ropes open so his opponent can get back in the ring, like any good sport would. I dunno 'bout dat, li'l man. I wouldn't put Monroe's name an' "good sport" in da same sentence. Oh, cut the sour grapes, Sanders. Just because he beat you in that Triple Threat Match.... No, he did NOT beat me! Da man pinned Mili'try Fury, who latuh got his ass whupped by dat loud-mouth Powuhs punk. So I ain't impressed by dat so-called vic'try. And the only reason he couldn't pin you was because you were knocked out cold on the arena floor! So I'm not too impressed by your showing, either! MEANwhile, gentlemen, Monroe delivered a forearm to the head as Curtis tried to re-enter the ring, and now he's laying the boots onto him in the corner, and now he steps down right on the throat of Curtis! He can keep that choke on all night if he wants to, and there's not a thing Magnum can do about it! No holds barred in this match. Monroe now draping Curtis' neck across the middle rope and choking him out some more.... rocking horse splash coming up..... and it's on target! Now he leaves the challenger draped over the ropes and quickly ascends the corner.... leg drop across the back of the neck! And ol' Buffalo Bill bounced higher than your last rent check, Sanders. Shuddup, li'l man... Hey, I can always float you a loan if you need it..... *WHUMP* Monroe with a cover..... ...but a one-count is all he can get as Curtis quickly powers out. Kinda surprised da match has stayed in da ring so far. I woulda thought dat Monroe would wanna take it hardcore early an' often. Well, Curtis has been known go a bit insane every now and then..... And you just said the magic words, Cross - HAS been known! If this match goes hard-gore, you can count Curits out. His body just can't take it anymore. Monroe first to his feet and snap mares the challenger over, then delivers a hard kick right in the small of the back! Now into a reverse chinlock and he sticks the knee right in the middle of the shoulder blades. Trying to wear down the neck and shoulder area of the challenger. And I have to admit, Simon, I'm also surprised Monroe keeping it by the book so far. Just give it time, Cross-eyes. The chair Monroe brought into the ring is still sitting there in the corner, and I guarantee it'll see some use very soon. Curtins back to a vertical base, and deliveres a pair of elbows to the breadbasket.... and the third one gets him loose. Curtis off the ropes and runs RIGHT into a knee to the midsection! That blow 360'ed him! And the champ finding his groove now. He's got his opening, and now he won't let go. And there's a textbook snap suplex for you! The challenger hitting the mat hard after that move. Monroe picking him right back up, Irish whip near side.... and up in the air and DOWN with an elevated X-Factor face buster! And now Monroe going for that chair! See? I told ya so! It's the beginning of the end right here. Monroe dropping the chair center ring. Now he grabs Curtis and sends him for the ride again.... and up for another.... NO! Curtis counters with a hurricanrana! Now the challenger with the whip of the champ.... leg trip sends Monroe face-first onto the chair! Now wait a minute! That's not fair! You can't counter that move with a hurricanrana! That's illegal! Hey, you said it yo'self, man. Ref can't do nuthin' 'bout it! Just 'bout anythin' goes in dis kinda match. Curtis now looking to follow up. He sets up the chair and whips the champ to the corner.... elevates off the chair and into a drop kick that crushes the champion in the corner! Curtis-man catchin' some serious hang time wit' dat move.... an' hang on, looks like we got a bulldog comin' up. Indeed we do, aiming for the chair again... but Monroe shoves him off! Monroe still shaking off the effects of that last offensive flurry by the challenger. Picks him up for a body slam.... no wait, he's hanging Curtis upside-down in the corner. What's he going to do here? Well whatever it is, it's going to hurt. Monroe's going for the chair again, and he's got that look in his eye! Curtis pretty much in a helpless state.... and Monroe with a HARD chair shot across Curtis' exposed knee! And now a second blow to the knee! And a THIRD! I think dis is da first sign of any kinda gameplan from eithuh of these guys. Ain't no secret Curtis's knee has been banged up mo' dan once. Curtis still dangling there, now Monroe takes the chair to the opposite corner.... running start.... and he drop kicks the chair into Curtis' face! And I think he busted his nose open with that shot, Cross. Indeed he did. There's a trickle of crimson coming out of the challenger's nose. Curtis finally knocked free from his predicament and Magnum checking on him, but Monroe relentless in his attack. Now he slides out of the ring and drags Curtis' weakend leg out over the apron and toward the steel ring steps...... now he's got the leg sandwiched between the OH MY!!! Monroe put the leg between the ring apron and the steps, then drop kicked the steps! Good way ta crush a kneecap ri't there. He got his opponent hobblin', let's see if he moves in fo' da kill. Curtis in obvious pain in the ring.... and now Monroe heading for one of the rope ladders. And there's a bamboo rod at the top of that platform. And you better believe he has plans for it. The champion taking his time, trying to keep the rope ladder steady..... wait a minute, Curtis back to his feet.... he's got the chair and he's climbing to the top rope.... leaps and swings and catches the champ across the back with the chair! Desperation move by the challenter, but it worked! Both men down on the outside! Desperate and STUPID if you ask me! Curtis' knee was already hurting, and now the landing from that leap of faith likely just made it worse! Both men slow to get up, but Monroe to his feet first. And he grabs Curtis' head and slams it into the side of the cage! Now he wraps the rope ladder around his neck and starts choking Curtis out! I said it befo', an' I'll say it again - Monroe's a dangerous man. But give him a weapon, an' he turns his game up to da next level. Monroe releases the choke and sends Curtis FLYING into the ring steps! And now he tries ascending the ladder again. An' he looks like he learned his lesson from da last time. He's movin' a bit quicker now. Monroe nearing the top of the platform.... Curtis coming to, and now he following the champ up the ladder. But you can clearly see the effects of the champ's gameplan. Curtis moving VERY slow. Monroe all the way up, now climbing the cage to reach that bamboo rod..... Curtis desperately trying to catch up..... Monroe's got it! He's got the rod! And now he just lays in wait for Curtis to reach the top and blasts him across the top of the head! And he continues to mercilessly whack away with that rod! And just look at the welts starting to form across the Cripple's back! He better give it up now, because the beating only's going to get worse! Monroe picking up Curtis and..... oh boy, setting up near the edge of the platform..... and LOOK OUT BELOW!!! Belly-to-belly Diamond Cutter, some people call it the "Downward Spiral", but off the platform and back into the ring! And if you noticed, Monroe had the rod pressed against the back of Curtis' neck! Stick the forks in him, he's done.... Monroe a little shaken up as well, but he rolls over for a cover..... We got ONE...... TWO....... NO sir! Curtis gets the left shoulder up! Monroe arguing about the cadence of the count, but Magnum emphatic that the challenger weaseled out in time. Couldn't have said it better myself - WEASELED! That third count came awfully slow, if you ask me. And ain't nobody asked ya, so save yo' breath. Now just a minute here, Mr. Martini.... Gentlemen, PLEASE! Anyway, Monroe picks up the rod and uses it to assist in a Dragon sleeper on Curtis. Trying to cut off his blood supply and wind supply. Noooooooo, ya think? Sounds like someone fuhgot ta take their aftuhnoon nap.... Oh yeah? Well at least *I* know where I am whenever I wake up! Curtis hasn't tapped out, but he's slowly losing strength. Terry Magnum checking on a possible KO here..... There's one drop of the arm..... And a second..... It's over...... AND A THI...NO! Magnum says Curtis kept it up! IT HIT THE MAT!!! Bill Curtis still alive in this match! Trying to summon the strenght to break this sleeper hold.... His arm hit the mat! I saw it myself! I demand an instant replay ruling! I demand a reversal! An' I demand you quit yo' bitchin'. Dis aint' the NFL. Well that's the way it will be in *MY* wrestling federation! The first thing I'm doing is implementing replay to ensure rip-offs like this don't ever happen. That's *TWICE* Chris Monroe has been robbed by a bad call! This match should be over by now! Bad call or not, the match continues. The crowd solidly behind Curtis as he tries to power up to a vertical base.... but not for long! Reverse DDT by the champ plants him right back down! Now Monroe with the rod, climbing up top..... he's measuring him..... and off he comes..... AND CURTIS GETS THE BOOT UP! Curtis lifting up the boot, and the champ gets a faceful of bamboo rod! Huge break fo' Curtis-man! But he gotta follow up wit' sumthin' big ta really turn the tied of dis match. Curts has been on the receiving end for quite a stretch. And now Monre picks him up for... OOOOOH NO! Low blow from the challenger! Not quite kosher, but allowable! Not Curtis has the rod! Shot to the midsection doubles over the champ...... now Curtis setting him up..... LEG DRIVER! Leg driver by Curtis with the bamboo rod across the back of the neck for good measure! Dat's exactly whut I was talkin' 'bout, brutha! Da champ is down, an' now Curtis scoutin' out the platforms. Curtis deciding which one to go for..... and he chooses the one with the barbed wire baseball bat! Oh please no! He doesn't have the heart to use that! No civilized human being would ever CONSIDER using a weapon like that on another human being! He's about two-thirds of the way up..... but Monroe coming to his feet..... Well, except maybe for Fuego. That piece of slime deserves every bit of pain he can get.... Curtis just about all the way up.... but the champ with a running leap.... SPRINGBOARDS AND CATCHES THE LEDGE!!! Monroe grabs onto the edge of the platform and now he's struggling to pull himself up! Yeah, but Curtis-man beats him to da top. An' now he's makin' his move fo' da bat! I dunno if he don't see Monroe behind him or if he think he can git da bat befo' Monroe gits him. Curtis going to try for the bat..... but Monroe's there and pulls him off the cage! The bat still not in play! Scoop and a slam onto the platform by Monroe... and now Monroe climbing for the bat.... but Curtis grabs onto the leg! And we got a struggle twenty feet in the air! Monroe trying to shake him loose, Curtis using Monroe to pull himself up.... and now they're both on the cage! Sumthin's gotta give here. An' fo' whoevuh loses dis fi't, it's gonna be a long way down! Both wrestlers with a hand on top of the cage.... now right hands being exchanged by both men.... OH NO!!! Monroe grabbed Curtis' head and rammed it into the baseball bat! And the challenger knocked back to the platform! And the blood starting to flow freely from the challenger's forehead! This is sick..... this is absolutely SICK! Monroe taking the bat down, looking to add more injury...... waiting for Curtis to get to his feet..... swings wildly and CURTIS DUCKS! The bat clangs the cage.... Curtis back up quickly and kicks the bat out of the champ's hands, and follows up with another spinning kick to the chest..... SWINGING DDT BY CURTIS!!! And the champ tumbles off the platform and twelve feet..... WHOA NO! He's hung up!!! Monroe got his foot caught in the rope ladder on the way down, and now he's dangling upside down about six or eight feet in the air! An' he is WIDE open fo' anything Curtis wants ta dish out! An' you bettuh believe he's up fo' some retaliation. And that's what scares me! Curtis has NO self control whatsoever! What's to stop him from taking that bat and slashing it right across Chris Monroe's throat? Curtis dropping the bat into the ring and taking the shortcut down from the platform. Monroe struggling to free himself, but not having much success. Curtis slides outside now and grabs the rope ladder.... oh hold on a minute, here, he's pulling that rope ladder towards the ring.... I think I see whut's comin' up here..... Curtis hooking the bottom of the ladder around the ring post.... and how he retrieves the bat! Oh man, he's crazier than I thought! I can't watch this..... Curtis back on the top rope now..... he grabs hold of the champion..... Curtis with a holler and THERE THEY GO!!! (The wrestlers crash hard into the side of the cage. The blow jars Monroe free from the rope ladder and both men tumble to the ground. Curtis lands face first on the concrete, and Monroe clutches his right arm in pain.) Devastating maneuver from the challenger! He used the force of his body and the cage to crush Monroe's shoulder and bicep into the barbed wire bat! And now the champ has been lacerated! I think I'm gonna be sick.... Magnum checking on that arm, but Monroe waves him off. Curtis getting himself back up to a knee..... now staggers to his feet and spots one of the chairs nearby. Sets the chair on the ring apron, now goes back to his opponent..... hammer lock and RAMS the injured shoulder into the ringpost! Curtis grabbing hold of the chair and delivers it right across the top of the head! And Monroe is down again! Curtis now leaving the chair out on the floor and rolls back into the ring..... waiting for the champion to get back up.... He mi't be settin' up fo' dat baseball slide DDT of his. Dat's one of his trademark moves. Could very well be, and I think the crowd senses it, too.... Monroe pulling himself up by the ring apron.... but here comes Curtis.... ON TARGET AND ONTO THE CHAIR! And there's another whoopin' holler from the challenger! Curtis-man losin' a lotta blood from da cuts on his fo'head, but da 'drenaline's pumpin' now, an' he's throwin' all caution to da wind! He's inasne. No other words to describe it. Both mean beaten and battered, but Curtis catching a second wind and not letting up! Now he sets up the chair and gives Monroe a seat atomic-drop style. Monroe with no clue where he is..... Now Curtis with a running leap from the apron..... "HIGH SOCIETY" SOMERSAULT NECKBREAKER! He took Monroe, the chair, everything over with that move! And both men down again! Curtis layin' it all on da line! He's wrasslin' dis match as if it's gonna be his last! Well, if Monroe ever gets back in control, he'll make sure it *IS* his last! Curtis trying for a pin on the outside..... ONE........ TWO......... Didn't get him! And Magnum FINALLY with a fair count! Curtis still very slow to get up, but now he's on his feet..... and hang on, he's going for one of the tables! Tossing a table into the ring! What's going to happen now? This is a total shot in the dark, Cross-eyes, but you don't suppose one of these sick puppies is going to put the other one THROUGH it, do you? I mean how are..... oh nevermind. Curtis picking up Monroe and tossing him into the ring. And he follows him inside..... pickup and a layout suplex plants Monroe face down on the table! And no Curtis pointing up to the platforms! I think we're about to see some VERY high flying now! Goin' fo' da end-all right now..... uh-oh, look out, we got comp'ny! SIOUXNAMI!!! Siouxnami hitting the ring!!! What business to they have in this match??? It's the bond bewteen the Asylum, Cross! They see a friend in need, and they're coming to the rescue! Sitting Bull starting to climb the cage! And Crazy Horse dropping.... it looks like one of those ketchup squeeze bottles, and he's slipping it through the open bars and into the cage. And now he starts climbing as well. An' dere ain't no roof on da cage, neithuh. They git up 'n ovuh, an' they be ri't in da thick of dis match! And if this match does become a three-on-one I don't see any way Curtis can..... WAIT A MINUTE!!! IT'S THE HURLEYS!!! The Hurleys hitting the ring full steam!!! NOW HOLD ON HERE! What are they doing there? I thought the Chaos Brigade took care of those morons! Apparently not! Mack Daddy, up the cage like a shot and grabs a hold of Crazy Horse! And there goes Hijo with cat-like agility... actually PASSES Sitting Bull on the cage and starts stomping and kicking at his head! But look at Curtis-man! He's at da top of dat platform, an' Monroe still ain't moved from da table! Crazy Horse pulled off the cage by Mack Daddy Hurley! Curtis with another yell and HERE HE COMES!!!..... (There's a loud sickening >*CRACK!*< as the table breaks, and a collective groan from the stands as Monroe rolled off the table before Curtish crashed through with the somerault Senton) I don't know if that was instinct, or if Monroe baited Curtis into that move, but he got out of the way and left nothing between Curtis and the table but imagination! That's it! Curtis is out cold! He's out, it's over, ring the bell, referee! He can't continue! Magnum doing just that. Both men motionless in the ring, and he's laying down the count. Meanwhile Sitting Bull has been knocked off the cage by Hijo del Hurley, and both teams are fighting their way up the aisle back toward the dressing rooms..... now Monroe rolling himself over and out of the ring.... and he's going for the other table! Man, he ain't lookin' ta end no match here. He's lookin' ta end a career! The table is slid into the ring.... now Monroe back out and going for that squeeze bottle left behind by Siouxnami.... and now he's squirting the contents onto..... wait a minute, that smells.... that's GASOLINE! Monroe dousing the table with gasoline! And look at which platform he set the table under - the one with the rag and the lighter above it! I shudder to think what's going to happen here! Monroe still shaking out that lacerated arm, trying to get some strength back in it..... now he picks Curtis up out of the rubble and setting him backwards on the top rope.... now following him up.... but Curtis with an elbow! And another one knocks the champ back down! Curtis stepping up to the top turnbuckle..... OOOOOH! Monroe yanks the top rope and the challenger ends up doing the splits on the turnbuckle! Well, I guess Mrs. Curtis can't expect any tonight now, can she? Will you stop? Monroe following Curtis up again.... looks like an electric chair superplex.... no, hold it! He's hoisting Curtis up..... and lifts him up to the platform! Monroe mi't be reduced ta just a one-armed attack, them legs of his still be in good shape. An' he jus showed it ri't there, usin' da lowuh body ta do what da uppuh body couldn't. Monroe deciding to forego the shortcut and take the rope ladder up to the platform. Curtis obviously still hurt from the missed senton and the fall onto the ropes, not showing much movement.... Whoever takes the brunt of this next fall isn't getting up again. I just know it. Monroe at the top of the ladder, pulling himself onto the platform.... Curtis up to a knee, now being helped up by the champion.... and Curtis with a right hand to the midsection! And a second one stuns the champ! But Monroe puts a stop to this comeback by tossing him head first into the cage! An' Curtis-man just 'bout totally spent. Tryin' ta mount anutha comeback, but I don't think he got da strength da to much. Curtis hanging on for dear life and hoping the champion will make another mistake...... TOMIKAZE! Monroe planting Curtis with a Tomikaze on top of the platform! But he's not tossing him off! He's reaching for the towel and lighter! Now if the referee only had the guts to get up on the platform with them, Monroe would very likely get the pin right up there! Monroe pulling the towel down.... now lighting it and throwing it down.... THE TABLE'S ON FIRE! Monroe just set the second table on fire! Now going over to Curtis...... oh my goodness, he's setting up for a powerbomb! He's going to powerbomb Curtis off the platform and through that flaming table! Someone call the preacher and get the last rites ready. He's not gonna survive this one. But does he have the strength to execute the maneuver? He's got him halfway up...... ...CAN'T DO IT!!! A second time...... Curtis trying to fight it...... .....AGAIN no go! AND CURTIS COUNTERS WITH A BACK BODY DROP!!! And down goes.... NO! HE CAUGHT HIMSELF!!! Monroe hanging onto the edge of the platform for dear life, trying to avoid falling into the trap he set for Bill Curtis! And ya gotta wunduh how long da champ can hold on! If dat arm gives out or if Curtis stomps on da hands, ain't nuthin' ta stop his fall! Curtis definitely with the advantage in this situation.... wait a minute here, Curtis climbing the cage..... Curtis looking to perch himself on top of the cage! Monroe still trying to swing or pll himself back up to the platform..... and Curtis is all the way up top! What balance by the challenger! Man, aftuh da betin' he took earlier on, I'm surprised he's still movin' at all! I think Curtis is just running on sheer determiNATION!!!!..... (Monroe managed to pull himself halfway onto the platform when Curtis let out a primal scream and lept off the top of the cage, catching Monroe in a sunset flip powerbomb off the platform and thru the table of fire. The crowd pop drowned out any commentary from the announcers.) Oh.... my..... freakin'.... GOD! (Curtis flops across Monroe for a cover, and the crowd counts along......) "*ONE!*"....... ..... "*TWO!*"...... ..... "*THREE!!!*" *DING DING DING DING DINGGGGGGG!!!!!!* (The crowd gives a rousing standing ovation to both men, as silence still comes from the announcers area) Cross?...... Hel-LOOOO-oooo! Cross?..... Cross-eyes, are you in there??? Ladies and gentlemen..... I've been broadcasting professional wrestling for many a moon, and for the first time in my career, I'm totally speechless! I honestly cannot think of any words to describe what we've just witnessed! Well, you can say or not say whutevuh ya want, but my bottom line is dis - Bill Curtis is da new Light-Heavyweight Champ, and he gonna git one hungry an' focused black man comin' aftuh his Texas ass. An' I ain't got no plans ta go easy on him. Ring attendants inside the cage now, putting out what's left of the fire. Curtis barely able to walk out of the cage, but he gets the belt handed to him by Terry Magnum. An' he bettuh enjoy da feelin' while it lasts, 'cuz it ain't gonna last long! Fans, if you thought this was an amazing display, I have no idea what to expect next! Fuego and Ernie Grendel in the Wheel of Torture Marathon Match next!!! <>