(Camera opens on Furia in the locker room, lacing the back of his black mask. He flips his hair back and looks straight at the camera...) [Furia] "Powers, here we go ese. Hardcore Homecoming and puta, you're mine. At Lord of the Rings, you cost me what could have been a milestone in my career. You cost me a championship. But more importantly...you cost the fans a match that they paid to see. You screwed them Powers, and now it's your turn. I don't know if you think you are some sort of funny comedian or something, but this Saul business, is definitely lame. So listen up Jerky Boy...We're gonna do a little spin the wheel and make the deal..and Powers...Yo voy a callar su boca, finalmente...." (camera fades out as Furia walks out of the locker room) @%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@@% [Byron] Did you hear what he said!?!?!? [Cross] Actually, I don't speak spanish. [Byron] Well, I'm fluent, so I'll explain. Yo voy a callar su boca, finalmente....means I'm gonna fill my mouth with Taco Bell! [Cross] You're disgusting. [Byron] Hey, you should see what they make the tacos with, it'd turn your stomach. What's the spanish word for muskrat meat again? *DING DING DING* <> [Matthews] This match will be contested under......SIDI AL NASSIR'S RULES!!! This is a SPANISH ANNOUNCERS TABLE MATCH..whoever puts his opponent through the spanish announcers table first will be the winner!!!! [Cross] That can't be right....oh no, our Spanish language broadcasting team of Jorge Alomar and Alejandro Marqueso isn't happy about that... [Byron] *to Alomar* HEY, I sent you an e-mail. Is it my fault you didn't check your messages between matches? . [Cross] No, you can't commentate over here, now sit back down, it's not my fault Nassir has a sick mind. [Byron] I gotta tell you, Sidi really has it in for these guys, last PPV he decked Alomar, this time he GUARANTEES the SAT is going bye-bye...I guess you could call it Mount a Zoomer's Revenge [Cross] You mean Montezuma's revenge. [Byron] No, I mean Mount a Zoomer. That's the name of Sidi's camel...Zoomer. [Cross] Oy. <<"Break Stuff" by Limp Biskit comes on and the fans immediately start booing>> [Cross] Well, the fans certainly making it known how they feel about Mike Powers...and he's out here alone, I can't believe it. [Byron] Of course he's alone. He wants to be Saul to within an inch of his life. [Cross] Look, I may not know Furia's real name....the luchadores are VERY protective of their identity when masked...but I can tell you with all certainty that Furia is 100% mexican, right down to his passport. [Byron] Stolen. Saul Rosenfeld has police blotter as a petty thief and counterfeiter. Why do you think that poor woman Mrs. Rosenfeld is so sad?!?!? [Cross] Maybe because she hasn't seen her feet since fourth grade?!?! [Byron] Fat jokes...you're mean and pathetic. [Cross] And you would be the authority on such things. [Byron] That's righ...HEY!!! <<"Staring at the Sun" by the Offspring comes on, and the crowd gives a solid pop>> [Cross] And here comes Militar de Furia...lot of bad blood in this one...aside from the Saul Rosenfeld shenanigans, Powers cost Furia the World TV Title. [Byron] Well, Saul didn't deserve the belt, ignoring his poor mother like that. If he didn't have his mother throughout his life, what would he have now? [Cross] A full refrigerator? [Byron] Will you can it with the fat jokes!?!?! I have it on good authority that Mrs. Rosenfeld works out every day and is in great shape. [Cross] Well, I guess round *is* a shape...... *SHORT REPORT MODE ON* Powers starts the match with a baseball slide dropkick as Furia is talking to a fan. This is followed by a couple of boots right to the face of Furia that send him careening towards the safety divider. Furia is draped over the divider, and Powers runs, jumps off a chair and drives a knee into the back of Furia. Powers picks up Furia and whips him towards the steel ringsteps but Furia reverses...Powers does a rolling flip and lands on his feet in a mock Olympic pose..only to have Furia legsweep him and he lands back first on the top step before rolling down... each...step. Furia picks him up, Powers hits a low blow, then stands up and arches his back a bit due to the pain of hitting the steps. Yakuza kick to the face of Furia sends him into the ring apron, and Powers rolls him back in from there. Powers to the ring apron, slingshot springboard lowdown. Powers grabs Furia, short arm kneesmash, yanks him back up by the arm, short arm clothesline, yanks him up AGAIN by the arm, short arm elbowsmash ducked by Furia... Furia tries a clothesline of his own, Powers with a grab around the midsection, lifts him up into a bearhug, FRONTAL LOBOTOMY!!!!! A move made famous by Steve the Insane, and Powers the p*bleep*k has got Furia on the ropes. Wow, not TOO unbiased there? No more so than you, Slime Time. Snap suplex by Powers, and...wait a minute, we've got some commotion in the CROWD as Powers is going up to the top...wait, a SECOND FURIA!!?!? WHAT IS THIS!?!!?!?!?!? Powers on the top and ROSENFELD YANKS HIM BACKWARDS!!! That's almost 12 feet to the concrete floor, and Powers *JUST* missed the SAT on that!!!! Meanwhile, here comes Mrs. Rosenfeld waddling down to ringside.. And I don't blame her, this is farcical. Furia II with a gourdbuster laying Powers out on the Spanish table, and now he's going up to the top!!! There's no disqualification or countout in this, the first one through the table is the loser, and "MRS. ROSENFELD" JUST SENT A PURSE UPSIDE THE SECOND FURIA'S HEAD!!! And Furia II lands ON HIS ASS in front of Powers, who is just now getting to his feet. Hold on, the first Furia is up....SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK ON ROSENFELD!!!! <> And now the Furia in the ring is unmasking...IT'S BEAN MARTINEZ!!!!! GOOD GOD, MARTINEZ PLANCHA RIGHT ONTO MRS ROSENFELD!!! AND WE'VE GOT A BRAWL OUTSIDE THE RING I can't believe this...Saul has been that little jabroni Bean Martinez all along? No wonder he sucks. I don't think that's the case, we've seen Martinez and Furia here at the same time. No, Martinez was the imposter from the opening bell..and referee Gerald Riley now calling officials from the back, who are hauling ass to get to the ring. If they're hauling that ass, they'll need two trips...OH GOD, NOW YOU HAVE ME DOING IT! Infectious, isn't it? Meanwhile in the REAL match, Powers just DDT'ed Furia on the concrete, and now he's got a chair set up...legdrop onto the chair on the back of Furia's head. Powers then proceeds to pick Furia up for a gutwrench powerbomb, but Furia reverses it into a huracanrana that sends Powers sliding across the SAT *into* the announcers. Furia lays dazed while Powers tries to get up. When Powers gets up, he turns around.. and Jorge Alomar starts punching Powers, screaming in Mexican. Alomar grabs his chair, but Powers superkicks the chair right into Alomar's face, knocking him cold. This was enough time, however, for Furia to spear him from the side of the table and fire 10 rights into the face of Powers (with the crowd counting "Uno, Dos, Tres, etc..") Furia picks up Powers, whips him backfirst into the ring apron, then follows with a running kneesmash that doubles Powers over. An attempted mudslide is blocked by Powers, who spins Furia around by the leg and goes for a clothesline. Furia ducks and Powers clotheslines the steel ringpost by mistake. Furia capitalizes, hitting a single arm DDT on Powers on the concrete, then rolling him back in. Furia grabs Powers' arm, then springboards off the top rope into a armwhip takedown, rolling right into the wakigatame armbar. Furia cinches it in for 10 seconds, does a handstand into a kneesmash into it, then cinches it for another ten seconds, lather, rinse repeat. Furia picks up Powers for a bodyslam but hits a shoulderbreaker instead, then goes for a cross-arm breaker. Powers is screaming at this point, but Furia will not let up. Furia picks up Powers by the arm, hits an armtwist, then runs for the ropes and jumps over for a Whippersnapper that nearly has Powers immobilized in pain on the mat. And this is why a stipulation like this can be so brutal on both counts. Although I'd like to think he wouldn't, Powers *might* have tapped out by now..but there are no pinfalls, or submissions or DQ's or countouts. Through the table is the only way to win. But if you wear your opponent down to the point of blinding pain, the table may be a fait accompli. Don't ever try to speak french again, you sound like that Schreiber guy over in Another Wrestling Institution. Watch it, Jeremy....Furia up to the top now, SHOOTING STAR PRESS RIGHT ONTO THE MARK!!! And now Furia grabbing Powers and is set to toss him over the top onto the SAT... Furia moves and POWERS WITH THE KICK TO THE GROIN, slowing Furia down, and that was a desperation kick. For once, I've got no argument on that, but Powers needs to find a way to take Rosenfeld down soon, he's hurt that right arm, and that sends a lot of weardown offense out of the window. WILL YOU QUIT CALLING FURIA ROSENFELD!?!!?!? It's his name, numnutz. What should I call him, 'Arvey? Powers trying to shake off some of the armpain, but he's having severe mobility issues, and he kicks Furia several times in the face/neck area to keep him down. Now Powers on the second rope, comes off with a legdrop, and Powers trying anything within his, well, power to keep Furia down. Powers drops several left elbows onto Furia, but when he goes for a powerbomb, his right arm gives out, and the mics accidentally catch the Tourette's-driven tirade that follows. He rakes the face of Furia with his boot, then jumps onto the second rope and jumps back with a double stomp, followed by a low dropkick to the face when Furia shoots up from the force of the stomp. Powers rolls Furia over to the apron so the top half of his body is dangling out there, then does a running jump up and OVER THE ROPES, twisting around into a senton that DRIVES Furia backfirst into the concrete. Powers tries desperately to work out some of the pain in his right arm, and he's gotten enough mobility to use it, if not lift anything heavy or do any heavy work. He picks up Furia and hits a left handed whip into the safety fence, followed by a couple of kicks. He then gets Furia on his shoulders and goes for an airplane spin, eventually coptoring him out into a stungun on the timekeepers bell on the table. Powers wipes the sweat from his brow and dashes it onto Furia to the boos of the crowd. He picks up Furia, whips him to the steel steps, Furia LANDS ON HIS FEET...MOONSAULT ONTO POWERS to a *BIG* crowd pop, and both men are down. Furia up first, HARD lucha chops to the chest of Powers backs him up, and a dropkick sends him flying into the steel ringpost... Furia grabs Powers by the head..RUNS UP THE STEPS...BULLDOG STUNNER RIGHT ONTO THE RING STEPS!!!!!!! And Powers bounces backwards with an ugly thud. And this is not looking good for "The Revolution", this is making me sick, Saul could actually win this.... Furia's got Mike by the hair, and drags him away about 10 feet...he gets him up for a powerbomb...RUNNING LIGER BOMB STRAIGHT TOWARDS THE SAT...POWERS REVERSES IT INTO A TORNADO DDT!!! AND FURIA'S HEAD BOUNCED RIGHT OFF OF THAT TABLE!!!!! And Powers has had about enough of this...he sticks Fur..Saul's head between his own legs, and uses his left arm strength to pull him up...PILEDRIVER ON THE CONCRETE!!! Forget it, this one's over. Powers rolling the limp Furia onto the SAT,and fires several left hands into his face, then grabs one of the cords and wraps Furia up in it. And he's insuring that Saul Rosenfeld stays down for this one...and up he goes. We could see the end of this match right here and right now...Powers is up on the top rope...."BLITZ" SKYTWISTER MOONSAULT........ .......AND THE TABLE DOES *NOT* BREAK!!!! <> Power's can't beleive it, and neither can I!!! What did they *reinforce* that thing with, usually it crushes like tissuepaper!!! They wanted to make sure that it didn't break on some lame move, I guess, and Byron climbing back up..he has no choice on this, he doesn't have the arm strength back to go for a power move, he's gotta fly. He goes for the Blitz AGAIN.............. .....And AGAIN the damn thing doesn't break!!! SOMEONE GIVE ME A HACKSAW!!!! One leg of the table gave out, but the table itself is still together. Furia is gone at this point, and Powers is not too far behind. Technicians now getting that one leg fixed and the table restraightened, and Furia is on the ground. And Powers needs to find a way to get Saul out there. He rolls Rosenfeld back onto the table and now Powers goes up...he's got Saul set up for a DDT...LOW BLOW BY SAUL!!! UN FOUL!! UN FOUL!!!! Furia with a desperation powerbomb...and he JUMPS OFF THE TABLE FOR EXTRA FORCE!!!!! AMD IT FINALLY BREAKS!!! THIS MATCH IS OVER!!!! *DING DING DING* <<"Staring at the Sun" plays>> And I can't believe how lucky Saul was in this....Powers had this totally under control, hit him with TWO "Blitz"'s, and the damn table won't break...Rosenfeld gets a lucky move off, and it crumples. And both men now being attended to by EMT's, they're gonna walk away, but they're both dizzy, and for good reason. But why do I think that this isn't over by a longshot at this point?