Prose
Poetry
Playwriting
When my time is not consumed by to do lists and dates to remember my thoughts ever so subtly drift into memory mode. Everything is sped up. I rush through my old bedroom windows and then I am spat up into the living room by some foreign, monstrous mouth. My hands begin to quiver and I hold them, afraid that others might see them shake. I had a chance to finally get through this daydream and find the end of it, of myself. With visions of my house come the teachings of my mother, despite their futility they have stuck with me. Every evening around 6:00 I would hear the roar of my mother calling into the midday for a second I think she is a lion roaring to its pride. All I could hope for was that the roar was not for me. As a child I always had the same dream. I would imagine myself morphing into a Pegasus and flying away from all the kids, adults and seriousness of the wicked world. I would slowly bend, figuring myself into a white, lean horse and stretch my back as if I were sprouting two wings in place of my shoulder blades. I would dream of escape, escape from all treasures and pressures.
I saw a man, eyes like a thunder paste And wondered at the game he played on his knees and soul, A wondrous minute, warped. I walked quickly upon the scorching sand Which burned at my tired, red feet until I reached the shore littered with flopping fish. He laughed at my predicament. �The tide is out.� Said the tall black man to a small white girl. He invited me into his place but I declined, scared of the fish he might be baking in his black pan. Not sure if my decision was weighed with societal pressure or if it was wicked creature, Pan. Thinking, I forgot to move, leaving my feet in the muddy sand which formed a sinking paste Bent on taking me under, to show proof to the devil that a girl, Without a worldly soul, Is easy prey and is easily fed to the waves of drowned fish. I hated that man for thinking I would give into him or the sand�s Cruel plot. How could I not pull my size four feet out of the abrasive sand? All I thought of was how I would foil Pan�s Demeaning plans, I would spoil their works, I would resist there fishing- Like attempts. Still I felt this presence of doom hanging in the air above my head like a pasty Cloud of smoke I could choke on, I could tell they wanted my soul. And still only me, a mortal girl Could change the course of the future, a mere mortal girl Could have killed all their expectations, a girl with such intensity, who didn�t fear the desolate sands Of time and who would face the storms of her soul Alone and without the help of the gods, fish or that damn Pan. A girl who with her fear is put beside a world drowning in clay like paste Like her one hatred, drowning on the sea, her fish. It seemed the beginning of a hurricane, anxiety spread through the blue and yellow fish. My feet failed, remaining stuck it the mud, I began to think I was dead, a dead, lost girl. The waves were stronger now, like a flood of thick baking soda paste At my knees, it scared me to think I couldn�t control my body in the sand And baking soda water, I was one of ma�s meals, frying above the heat, swirling in a pan. Very hot and seductive, holding me in silence and stillness, like dieing in a sauna, it was drowning my soul. It wasn�t moving anymore just rising, inch by inch reaching the brim of my limitless soul, But soon I wouldn�t be a person anymore I would be only a limpet, a fish Caught in a heat vacuum in that black man�s clay pan In that black man�s world, a little, white, suffocating girl Would mend his heart full of division and hate, I will mend him with the grey sand The steam from my mouth�s humidity formed, in the cool winter air, a suspended paste. I matched his broken eyes, filmed over with blue-grey paste, to my broken assimilated soul. Whose storm, to my surprise, was a mending one made of swirling sand which encircled the oceans blue and yellow fish. These would be the healing prophecies of a little white girl�s triumph at her hand of playing the mischievous Pan.
�Vengan a mi (�) y yo los refescare.� Come to me little Hannamel Come unto you saying I wish I were a word of something grand. Paternal weighing seven shekels Oh deep purchase, deed of purchase to my heart, Which you clutch so tightly. Can�t find those moisten cheeks on me. Am I so pale you can not see me? We shall drink no wine. Vengan a mi, little shepherd boy, While the grass is warm and green. The sheep are lost, Disclose all responsibility, Come unto me. Little pharaoh child, you will see A new braved world There are some bushes left unthreaded Some paths of danger unwillingly traveled. Vengan a mi, Moses girl. Someone saw you leave tonight. Alone into the darkness, dim of woods clearing, You fell among them. Seeming un-slighted, seen un-witted, Unlighted and sitting upon Toadstools so small, With white fingers dancing around your blossomed head. You lost lamb. Come unto me. Vengan a mi, I will refresh you. You with your broken streams, Drinking your wicked truth boys. You wondered, girl, a Susan, a troy of men. You will become a troy of me. Come unto me. I will refresh you. Little men of the future, you must Go in peace into the thirty-second century. With comfort available
This is where I want
to be for my entire eternity.
I wish in fruitful abundance.
I wish to be solitude�s companion, perfectly.
I wish to listen to the swallows as they make their way across the
pacific. That long Atlantic. A clairvoyant ending to her sorrow. We all
wish to swim into the under toe and drown and survive. And fall on the
solitude of our holy sand.
Someday
I will become my Pegasus and fly with some man who will tell me I am a
goddess and love me for a winter and one night afterwards.
A man who will say he loves me for a day and never forever more, for me.
During a winter, willingly he will fall off a cliff with only his faith to save him and
I will laugh like soft, fetal minutes that cling to the summer stricken air and
I will hate every god-forsaken and Satan- worshipped minute of that second.
I will learn to be betrayed to be and
I will learn to be in love with pigs who undervalue my existence in the green and purple world.
Love, like one other man who will come unknowingly to dance to the wave music and who will run
into the rocky shore for me to collect.
He will laugh also.
VII.
The hawks called for the rush of the wind.
A stem sticking up by oneself waiting to be crushed.
Her scarf wailed in the wind begging to accompany it.
Barely did she notice the man-hawk lurking above her head, the one she searched to photograph.
The waters flicker, the wind is angered, the grass seemed never to have grown there but that�s where her dreams began.
Scene One Johna and Lisa are sitting in a cafe, three chairs and a table center, down stage. Lisa Hey, guess what? Johna What? Lisa I got magna to smoke pot with me. Johna When?? Lisa Oh, about a couple of weeks ago. But don�t say anything because I think she wanted to keep it hush- hush. Johna Oh my god. That is so funny! She was supposed to be the one who would never smoke, drink, or anything. Lisa I think that is why she did it. Johna Hurt Why she didn�t tell me?What if I ask you if you want to smoke tonight and then� Lisa No, no. Wait I got it. You should say something like �Johna I'm sick of you pressuring me to smoke pot with you,
Magna is on my side, we will not give in. some proud crap like that. And then she won�t be able to hide
that guilty look on her face. Johna Oh here she comes. Magna enters with the pizza and three little plates. Magna Oh my god, guess what just happened to me. Johna and Lisa What? Magna I went up there to get my pizza and the guy with the black glasses asks if I was being helped and I said �yeah,
I just need to talk to that guy over there.� Then he said, �Man, how come you always get the pretty ones!�
to the other guy and he said, �I guess I�m just lucky.� Johna and Lisa begin to laugh and they each grab for a slice and a plate. Magna What! Why are you laughing? I swear that has never happened. I was hit on!!!! Johna You know what I and really proud that I went trough my entire high school career never
giving in to peer preasure to smoke pot, especially since my best friend does.
But at least I can count on Magna. Johna looks directly at Magna, who is smiling stupidly. Lisa BUSTED!! Magna Lisa! Lisa Your look gave it away. Besides I thought we were in the presence of the master liar and b.s-er. Johna I am disappointed Magna. Magna I am the master of the lie! I invented the lie. Lisa and Johna Uhuh Silence Johna Hurt You�re my best friend. Why didn�t you tell me? Magna is silent, ashamed, embarrassed. Lisa Hello! What am I?! Johna I can�t believe it! Magna Tension escalates in these next three lines Well you�re the one who lost her virginity first! Johna Getting defensive What does that have anything to do with anything!! Magna I�ve already got one mother; I don�t need you making me feel bad about what I did. I�m a teenager, teenagers experiment. Lisa C�mon! Don�t go there, guys. This is our last girl�s night out, do you really want to spend it fighting. Look Magna smoked, so what?
She didn�t tell you because she knew how you would react. She knew you would hold it against her
and never let her live it down. Magna I�m sorry I didn�t tell you. Johna Yeah, I�m sorry I flipped out. Magna What would I do without you guys? You�re (Johna) going to New York and Lisa�s going to California.
My two best friends are being dashed to the corners of the earth. Johna Said as a side note Or just the country. Lisa I�m going to miss you guys like crazy. Magna I�m going to miss you guys too. Johna Stop!! We all have our entire freshman year in college to miss each other. We are together tonight.
Let�s make the most of it. Magna Tonight we are going to go crazy. I am going to let all of my inhibitions go!!!
Once and for all I�m going to shed that�perfect, little, innocent magna� everyone knows and= Johna �loves. Magna Yeah, except its my turn now. I don�t want everyone to leave here thinking I�m an uptight goody-goody. Do you think they�ll have anything else besides maddogs and buds. Johna What, like something a little stronger? Magna You know, something a little faster. Johna If all else fails I have some Bacardi in my trunk. Magna Tonight is the night!!! Lisa So where�s this party? Johna Denny�s. Magna oohh! Denny and Johna, sitting in a tree� Johna Shut up Magna! How old are you? Magna naively 18�? Johna sarcastic 17! Trying to shed that good girl image I see? Magna Said with love Bite me! Johna laughs Johna So, what time is it? Lisa About 10:30. Johna What time is fashionably late? Magna Now! My feet hurt. Johna I told you not to wear those shoes. End of scene. Black out.