| behind closed doors |
| Hammytown Weather |
| Barbadioian Weather |
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| [The Omen of Asbestos Death] |
| [Do Not Enter] |
| This is the Hockley Hellpit of Asbestos Death. You will immediately notice that it seems green and inviting. This is the truth. Situated in the heart of the Hockley Valley, it is easy for this overzealous, poorly managed company to lure unsuspecting corporations and newlyweds to the premesis. Although it is the former site of a training centre for dirty hydro men, nobody really notices the three monstrous sheet-metal barns where old telephone polls and dirty furniture await a better life. Besides that, I'm sure all the customers enjoy the view of tan metal siding during meetings at the Pavillion and weddings at the Peaks! I think Maintenence is in the process of repainting them green to "blend them in" to the scenery. They don't do anything about the Asbestos, though. |
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| In the words of Amy, one of the most dedicated Lowlands Employees, this sign also on the premesis is "FAR more appropriate" than the one in the picture above. The problem is that it's right beside the main building, and by the time you see it, it's too late. |
| The Two Best Lowlands Employees--putting their lives on the line to serve EVERY DAY: |
| #1. Amy |
| #2. Alison |
| One of the few perks of being an employee at the Hockley Hellpit of Asbestos Death was the booze. Although Pitney men used it to get drunk and harass the servers, Amy was always responsible...seen here passed out in a pile of empties. |
| Among Amy's talents, the most spectacular was her ability to discern between what is edible and what is not. Never would a day pass where she would not be found sampling the food to ensure it stood up to her rigid culinary standards. |
| Always pensive, Amy reflects on the placement of the septic beds. They're viewable from virtually every window in the hotel and from the balcony at the Valley building. She is contemplating, as always, managerial intelligence. |
| Alison was always a friendly server, both to the customers and to the other lowlands employees. Here, Alison gives Dishwasher Hilary a big hug for the camera. Truly a person of the people. *tear*. |
| Although under constant surveilance, Alison clearly shows no fear. The management has cameras everywhere to spy on the honest, hardworking employees--including in the one, small, [shiny] two-floor-operating elevator. |
| Stepping up for the Pope's visit to Toronto, Alison dresses in full papal attire and good-naturedly exclaims "Je suis le pape!" whenever possible. You see, happiness at work is forgetting you have a bowtie. |
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| Congratulations! You are VALUED CUSTOMER # |
| A chronicle of the events within the Hockely Hellpit of Asbestos Death, entitled: |
| The answer to this is twofold: |
| Where are they now? Have they died horrible asbestos deaths? |
| Amy has escaped to Ottawa where she studies Drama at the University of Ottawa. For more, click her photo. |
| Alison is in Hamilton where she studies nothing at McMaster University. For more, click her photo. |
| ...and while the effects of the asbestos have yet to be seen, both Amy and Alison expect to die slow and torturous deaths from it, eventually. Thank you for your concern. |
| ...including the weather in our hometowns, Alison's imood, a GUESTBOOK, [signing is manditory...just like the Asbestos waiver we had to sign!] links, and a counter to show how many times people have cared enough to visit this page and feel our woe. |
| Fun Other Stuff |
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| Click! Al says. |
| Alison's current mood is: |