Chapter 4
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They stood for what seemed like forever, his fingertips rubbing soothing circles across her knuckles. His eyes met hers, and she lost herself in the colourful kaleidoscope of emotion that seemed to swirl about them. Joy, hope, uncertainty, fear� her emotions seemed mirrored in his eyes. Perhaps there was a little something extra there. Something far deeper than she could allow herself to believe. She savoured the feel of his fingers, his gentle touch. She savoured the sight of him, and the emotions that raced through her when he looked at her in that way. Home. It was like coming home, for the first time in three years. �Ally�� He whispered. �Come in.� The name. His voice was like a bucket of cold water, bringing her back to reality in an instant. After three years, she still missed hearing her name. He�s married, she told herself, no matter what, he�s married, and that changes everything. She swallowed desperately, trying to subdue her pounding heart. Why had she come? His eyes never left her face. �Why now?� She heard herself whispering, �Why after all this time? Why Dominic?� He swallowed visibly, yet his grip remained unwavering; he had no intention of letting her go. �I don�t know.� He whispered. But she knew that she did. �The truth, Dominic. What is it you want from me?� She fought the husky tone increasingly evident in her voice, unshed tears filling her eyes. �I don�t know.� He repeated. His voice was suddenly unsure, a quiet whisper of sound. �It wasn�t supposed to be like this. I wasn�t supposed to miss you this much.� �Do you?� Her voice held a fragile note of hope. �Yes.� He closed his eyes, as a crystal tear rolled down his cheek. She brushed it away with trembling fingertips. �Why�d you do it? I mean� we were happy, everything seemed to be okay. I guess� I just don�t understand why.� Her voice shook, but she had to know. He sighed, and she knew things weren�t going as he had planned. Yet she had never been dishonest with him, and she refused to be someone she wasn�t. �Dominic. Why did you let go?� �Ally� I hadn�t really planned it. I� I never meant for you to get hurt. It was just� just that, well... I mean, there was Maija, and she was so� I� it wasn�t fair to you. You didn�t need that.� �What do you mean?� It wasn�t fair to her? She blinked. She didn�t understand. �She was so jealous of you.� His voice sounded as though it was coming from far off. For her part, she couldn�t speak. �I kept telling her, again and again, that she had nothing to worry about, that I was going to marry her - it shouldn�t have mattered whether or not I skated. But she hated� she put the wedding off again and again. I felt so damn guilty. She kept telling me she wanted to wait. I knew what for.� �She hated me.� �I� yes. We fought so much over my skating� our skating. She never understood, and I didn�t know how to explain something I didn�t understand myself. I mean, there were times, I� anyway, finally I just gave in. I was marrying her, we were supposed to be in love.� �Were you?� Her expression did little to convey her confusion. What did it mean? What was he saying? He looked at her, and she could see his struggle. �No.� �Oh Dominic�� �I know. It seems so stupid now. I should have known then. It didn�t get any better.� His laugh was bitter, and he seemed to age ten years in front of her. �You know, I can still remember the night before the wedding. Everyone told me it was normal to be nervous, but it was more than that. I was scared. It just didn�t feel right. But I felt like I was caught in a web and I couldn�t escape. Yet when I stood in the front of the church, I had hoped, I mean, I wished� never mind.� He trailed off, embarrassed. �You wished what, Dominic?� Everything rode on that answer, she knew. Hope threatened to push it�s way out of the locked chamber she had it hidden in. �I made myself a promise, just before I stood at that alter.� His voice was barely a whisper; he couldn�t seem to meet her eyes. He dropped her hand, placing some distance between them. �I told myself, that if you were there, if I saw you, that was all it would take for me to walk away. Because when I closed my eyes, I didn�t see Maija coming towards me. I didn�t see her walking down that aisle. I saw you.� His voice shook. �And I hoped, prayed, you would feel the same way.� He paused. �But you weren�t there. And I guess I had my answer.� She couldn�t move, could barely breathe. It was a full minute before she could function. She could only stare at him, disbelieving what she was hearing. She�d wanted to hear it for so long� it didn�t seem possible. He spoke again, suddenly embarrassed. He took her silence as a response. As the wrong one. �I�m sorry. I shouldn�t have said that. Hell, I shouldn�t be here. Maybe� maybe you should go.� She knew what he thought. She would think it too. Her response has rejection stamped all over it. Yet it wasn�t like that. Not even close. �Dominic.� His eyes seemed locked on images in the distance that only he could see. �Nick. Please.� Slowly, he turned to face her. Her fingers stretched towards him, brushing softly across his cheek, wonderingly. �Do you know how long I�ve waited to hear that?� I� I think for a while, I gave up on ever hearing it.� Silence. They stood, separated by a matter of a few steps, her fingers against his cheek, the only contact. Their eyes searched. Neither moved. Then, as though given a sudden jolt of electricity, he surged forward, the despair disappearing, replaced by an overwhelming joy, as he hauled her into his arms. He closed round her, on hand sinking into her blond tresses. His face burrowed against her neck, and she could feel the dampness against her skin. �I love you.� He whispered. �Oh God, I�m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you� I love you.� She felt the tears spill down her cheeks as she cuddled him close. �I�ve waited a long time to hear that.� She sniffed. �I love you too.� �Why didn�t you tell me?� His eyes searched hers. �Oh Nick� I don�t know. It all seemed so hopeless. I couldn�t imagine you ever loving me, and then there was Maija, and there was Andrei, and� I was scared.� She admitted, hiding her face against his shirt. �I couldn�t go to the wedding later� I couldn�t watch you marry her.� Her eyes stared into his own. �Don�t you see? I thought you loved her. I didn�t want to watch myself lose you in that way too. I loved you� and it hurt.� she stepped back from him, remembered pain flooding her eyes. He didn�t let her go so easily. �I don�t know what to say� if I could go back and do it all over again, I wouldn�t make the same mistakes. I�m sorry� so sorry. I never ever meant to hurt you. I just couldn�t imagine you ever loving me� and I always said you deserved so much better than me� you still do.� �Don�t you think that�s my choice to decide? Damn it Dominic, I LOVE you. I never stopped.� Her voice lowered, but the intensity remained the same. �Yes, damn you, it hurt. But it doesn�t change anything, and certainly not my love.� He took a hesitant step towards her, his hand stretched out. The gold band on his finger caught the light as he moved to pull her into his arms. �No.� Her voice exposed her feelings; she was near the breaking point, her emotions pulling her from both sides. He stopped, his face mirroring the confusion from her own. �I don�t understand.� He admitted, and odd, cold feeling creeping into his bones. �Dominic. You�re married.� A quiet statement. �And no matter how much I love you, I can�t do that to someone else. I went through that with Andrei� I would NEVER put someone through that. I can�t.� She seemed to suddenly gain a great interest in the tiny specs ingrained into the wood of the desk, missing the volatile expression that crossed his face at the mere mention of Andrei. He glanced down, almost involuntarily, at his left hand. He shook his head. �It�s not like that. I swear to you� I�m not that kind of person.� She didn�t look up. �What is it like, Dominic? You tell me.� He voice cracked. �Three years, and suddenly you�re back� and� and�� She bit her lip. �Ally, Maija and I are separated. Legally, as soon as the paperwork goes through, she and I will be divorced.� He watched her closely, looking for a sign. �We separated after a year. I haven�t heard from her since, except for the contact between our lawyers. She knew, Ally. She knew who my heart belonged to. The ring is simply because I have no interest in anyone else, and I don�t even want to deal with those that ask.� He took a deep breath. �I�ve never been interested in anyone, never felt for another woman as I do for you. My heart is yours. It�s always been yours, Allison. Always.� The tears fell freely then, and somehow the space between them was once again closed, and he held her in his arms, soothing, stroking, touching. �Ally� Allison, please� please my love, don�t cry.� Tenders fingers ran over the wetness on her cheeks. �Don�t cry� I love you� please don�t cry�� He rocked her. �You�ll never know how much I missed hearing that.� She choked. �Oh Nick.� He knew. He had always known. It had been his way of distancing himself. �I know� I know.� He held her tightly to him. �I�m sorry.� Her watery smile met his gaze, yet her eyes held such a depth of seriousness, he was powerless to look elsewhere. �No more apologies. It�s over. We�re here together� and we love each other. That�s all that matters.� She paused. �I love you.� �And I love you.� �Forever?� �And a day.� Their lips met, sealing their promise. A promise that had been in the making for many years. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ As the lights dimmed in the arena, she could hear the roar of the crowd, their response filling the stillness. She felt his hand squeeze her own, felt the surface of the ice beneath her blades. She felt him. Dominic. Her Dominic. �Once again, ladies and gentlemen! Give it up for the husband and wife duo, Allison Monroe, and Dominic Riefen!� Take a bow, the night is over Light are low, the curtains down The show is over� They took their bows. They took them together.
